"Buzzkill, baby, buzzkill!"
1) In a post several weeks back I suggested that Wiscasset, ME change its name to "Blocked Colon, ME." Well, a new idea has struck me. Why not call the town "Buzzkill"? As in thousands of tourists saying to each other on the long journey up from Boston, NY, Connecticut, etc.: "I can't WAIT to get to _________, but first we gotta get through Buzzkill.....That damn bridge traffic at Buzzkill gets me every time.....What a......buzz killer!" Yeah, I think that would make a lot more sense than "The Prettiest Parking Lot in Maine (Member of National Register of Historic Parking Lots since 1973)". Don't you? Or am I wicked wrong?
2) Another thing about the bridge traffic at Buzzkill: I love it that so many SUVs and pickups have those "Motorcycles are Everywhere" bumper stickers on 'em. It is important to remember that cyclists are out there and harder to see than, say a minivan. True, true.
For example, Steelers QB Ben (Eyechart) was doing not a thing wrong when he was blindsided by that woman from Maine..except he wasn't wearing a helmet. His choice, in Pennsylvania and a lot of other states. But what really ground my gears...what really toasted my bagel this afternoon was some biker who felt that because he was on a cycle the traffic rules didn't apply to him. He pulled into the breakdown lane about two miles north of the Wiscasset bridge and kept on truckin'. I lost track of him, but I'm sure his little manuever saved him about 30m, and royally pissed off me and just about every other 4 wheel vehicle that COULDN'T follow his (illegal) path. Sorry, but it is a jerk move to pull your bike into the breakdown lane and then merge back into traffic 1/5/hundreds of miles up ahead. If I'm wrong, then again I apologize. But I can't see how anyone could rationally justify bikes being allowed to pull this kinda crap.
3) Bob Dylan's autobiography, "Chronicles Volume I", which came out 2 years ago, is a MUST read. One of the very best autobiographies I have ever laid eyes on. Doesn't follow a linear path at all. No "I grew up a poor white child in Hibbing" for Dylan. The book has about a half dozen chapters, each describing a different period of Dylan's musical life. He is obviously incredibly intelligent and well read, but many times this does not make for a great read. "Chronicles" is the exception. Highly recommended.
4) Watching a tape of Letterman's show from Tuesday or Wednesday, I realized that male fantasies can often be based purely on a bunch of crap. Just because a woman is unspeakably beautiful does not mean I would want to spend much time with her. Well, probably not anyway.
For example, Jessica Biel was Dave's guest. And her 10 or so minutes seemed like 30. I know she is young (mid 20's) but she, first off, was dressed all wrong. With her cheekbones being one of the great womanly features on this earth, what the hell was she doing with her bangs dragging down to the edge of her lips? (Sorry to go all Queer Eye there, but hey!) And you think she could have come up with a funny story for Letterman and his audience of a couple million. Jesus, time passed s-l-o-w-l-y.
But of course she is georgeous, so all is forgiven, I guess.
5) Whatever real estate agent put the fish restaurant next to the exterminator on Pleasant Street in Brunswick has some 'splainin ta do. What the hell kind of a moron would eat fish next to a place with enough insecticide to kill off half of New England? Not serving your clients, Mr. or Ms. real estate agent. Man, talk about buzzkill. No way I ever eat THERE.
6) This guy is just about the biggest jerkoff in the country. Great article on him in Vanity Fair that I finally got around to reading. You think the media in his district would have sensed something wrong when the guy was driving a Rolls, living in a multi million dollar home, and owning a boat named "Duke-Stir"? What the hell were the newspapermen doing while all this was going on?
Another example of the incredible laziness of the mass media, especially the newspapermen, since we all know that tv guys are the ones who can't write (hey, I watch "Man Bites Dog").
7) Did the Red Sox radio men jump the shark this afternoon during the first Yankee game when they had the five year old Jimmy Fund patient on and, when they asked the kid his favorite player he said "Johnny Damon"? Or was it during the NESN pregame show when Billy Ray Cyrus (yes THE BRC) came on wearing a Red Sox hat and talking about....something. I turned the sound down immediately. What the hell does that hick have to do with Sox/MFYs? I just don't know.
8) Incredible show on the History Channel: The Miracle of Stairway B. Just incredible.
2) Another thing about the bridge traffic at Buzzkill: I love it that so many SUVs and pickups have those "Motorcycles are Everywhere" bumper stickers on 'em. It is important to remember that cyclists are out there and harder to see than, say a minivan. True, true.
For example, Steelers QB Ben (Eyechart) was doing not a thing wrong when he was blindsided by that woman from Maine..except he wasn't wearing a helmet. His choice, in Pennsylvania and a lot of other states. But what really ground my gears...what really toasted my bagel this afternoon was some biker who felt that because he was on a cycle the traffic rules didn't apply to him. He pulled into the breakdown lane about two miles north of the Wiscasset bridge and kept on truckin'. I lost track of him, but I'm sure his little manuever saved him about 30m, and royally pissed off me and just about every other 4 wheel vehicle that COULDN'T follow his (illegal) path. Sorry, but it is a jerk move to pull your bike into the breakdown lane and then merge back into traffic 1/5/hundreds of miles up ahead. If I'm wrong, then again I apologize. But I can't see how anyone could rationally justify bikes being allowed to pull this kinda crap.
3) Bob Dylan's autobiography, "Chronicles Volume I", which came out 2 years ago, is a MUST read. One of the very best autobiographies I have ever laid eyes on. Doesn't follow a linear path at all. No "I grew up a poor white child in Hibbing" for Dylan. The book has about a half dozen chapters, each describing a different period of Dylan's musical life. He is obviously incredibly intelligent and well read, but many times this does not make for a great read. "Chronicles" is the exception. Highly recommended.
4) Watching a tape of Letterman's show from Tuesday or Wednesday, I realized that male fantasies can often be based purely on a bunch of crap. Just because a woman is unspeakably beautiful does not mean I would want to spend much time with her. Well, probably not anyway.
For example, Jessica Biel was Dave's guest. And her 10 or so minutes seemed like 30. I know she is young (mid 20's) but she, first off, was dressed all wrong. With her cheekbones being one of the great womanly features on this earth, what the hell was she doing with her bangs dragging down to the edge of her lips? (Sorry to go all Queer Eye there, but hey!) And you think she could have come up with a funny story for Letterman and his audience of a couple million. Jesus, time passed s-l-o-w-l-y.
But of course she is georgeous, so all is forgiven, I guess.
5) Whatever real estate agent put the fish restaurant next to the exterminator on Pleasant Street in Brunswick has some 'splainin ta do. What the hell kind of a moron would eat fish next to a place with enough insecticide to kill off half of New England? Not serving your clients, Mr. or Ms. real estate agent. Man, talk about buzzkill. No way I ever eat THERE.
6) This guy is just about the biggest jerkoff in the country. Great article on him in Vanity Fair that I finally got around to reading. You think the media in his district would have sensed something wrong when the guy was driving a Rolls, living in a multi million dollar home, and owning a boat named "Duke-Stir"? What the hell were the newspapermen doing while all this was going on?
Another example of the incredible laziness of the mass media, especially the newspapermen, since we all know that tv guys are the ones who can't write (hey, I watch "Man Bites Dog").
7) Did the Red Sox radio men jump the shark this afternoon during the first Yankee game when they had the five year old Jimmy Fund patient on and, when they asked the kid his favorite player he said "Johnny Damon"? Or was it during the NESN pregame show when Billy Ray Cyrus (yes THE BRC) came on wearing a Red Sox hat and talking about....something. I turned the sound down immediately. What the hell does that hick have to do with Sox/MFYs? I just don't know.
8) Incredible show on the History Channel: The Miracle of Stairway B. Just incredible.
posted by joe sweeney at 9:32 PM
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