Guest Blogger tonight, sports fans. Let's hear/read what he has to say...

"...Thanks, Hank. Eric Von Vinceson of KXXV-TV ("Waco's Window to the World") here to bring you up to date on the state of Big 12 Women's Basketball, specifically this afternoon's Kansas State Wildcats vs. Baylor Bears game.

First off, man those refs sure sucked. Am I right, people? Who is that burly guy with the shaved skull, and why did he make every single call, seemingly? He was whistling offensive fouls under the basket when he wasn't even in the frontcourt. Was that guy ever bad. They had three uniforms out there, but really, the bald guy made every call, a lot of them wrong. Wow.

Glad I got that off my chest, Hank.

The Bears took charge in the last four minutes of the first half through pressure defense and good shot selection, led at the break by 7, and won 79-70.

To digress, though, why do people still insist in calling female athletic teams "Lady XXX's" in 2007? We know they're women. It ain't that tough to tell. If I can make a suggestion to the entire nation, just call 'em Bears, Tigers, Bulls..... Well, you got me there, but still my point is pretty valid.

In the second half, the Wildcats cut Baylor's working margin of a dozen or so down to two with two minutes to play, but got no closer.

Baylor (16-3 on the season) senior center Bernice Mosby led all scorers with 29 points as well as 10 rebounds in what may have been her finest game of the season, her first in Waco.

Kansas State was led by the fine play of freshm....um, first year player post player Ashley Sweat, whose promising inside/outside game bodes well for the Wildcats, though she might want to lose the "Mikans." They ugly.

A nice crowd was on hand, announced at over 7,000. They were loud throughout, though much of the noise was directed at the ref with the shaved head and his terrible officiating.

So to sum up, the Bears won, had by far the better looking uniforms, had a lot more energy in the last 25 minutes of the game, and are now 3-2 in conference.

One habit we Waco media types have developed over the past few seasons is naming and rating what we call "The Many Faces of Mulkey." Man, can this Coach produce some truly hilarious facial expressions on the sideline. And that's when they're ahead. We don't look her way when Baylor is behind. Can't even imagine what THAT looks like. Today's game was only about a 6 on the Mulkey Meter. Can't wait until tournament time. Here's some of her best faces from today's contest, listed in order of appearance:

Key : (Number) "Title" -- Description

(1) "Agony" -- We get THAT guy again? He is just terrible. Makes every call no matter what. Wow.
(2) "Whaaaaa?" -- Coggins just make a 33 footer? No way.
(3) "I beg to differ with your choice of fouls, Mr./Mrs. Ref! I truly beg to differ!" -- Self explanatory.
(4) "Keep shootin'." -- Summary of every halftime speech ever made by Coach Mulkey. Actually, this is great stuff for players to hear.
(5) "Why me? Why me?" -- Voice in Coach's head whenever first shot of second half is missed by one of her players. Humans are truly walking contradictions.
(6) "Hey, there's a lightbulb that needs replacing up there. And there's another one! Dang, there's a whole bunch up there that need to be changed!" -- Voice in Coach's head when she gazes upward. This happens approximately four dozen times a night.
(7) "They're heating the basketballs again." -- Said to self when that K-St player missed 2 freebies in the first half. That "quick shot" is just about the worst free throw technique this side of Shaq, since you're depending on a Lex Luther look-alike to throw the ball just where you like it. Refs are devious folks, and will mess with you when the score is tied with a minute to play by bouncing the ball off your shin, kid. Calm down and bounce the ball twice. Then shoot.
(8) "Just when exactly are pig-tails gonna come back in style? Like, 2027? I can't wait that long. Gosh, I miss 'em." -- Coach Mulkey may try to fool others, but she has dozens of pix in her possession somewhere of those long ago days at La-Tech, when she kicked ass. Wearing pig-tails. Cool.

So, Bears win. That's the story from Waco, Hank. Back to you up in Maine."

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Disclaimer : Now obviously, we here in the 'Pent don't have the funds to hire a guest blogger anytime anywhere. Especially one who works for Fox. And since our Internet Blogger License (IBL) is up for review by the Bloggers Guild of America next week, this whole charade was probably pretty damn stupid.

Sue us, BGA.