Born in a manger, March 24. Destined for Newman, Knoxville, and more.
From Wikipedia, the free and often reliable online encyclopedia...
Peyton Manning -- The Hero's Life.
======================================
Peyton was born March 24, 1976 in New Orleans, LA, on a bed of straw. His mother Olivia declined comment to the gathered media masses upon Peyton's arrival, but fairly glowed with gratitude at her gift to the good people of Louisiana. Other names considered by Archie and his bride: Adam, Archie II, RocketArm, Pencil Neck, and ShouldaBeenTee'sBackup (rejected as too many syllables by Archie, who likes words and names with no more than 2).
Marketing Highlights
Received Q Score of 27 in 2005, the third highest to Warren Sapp (30+) and Matt Light (28) among professional football players that year.
Has appeared in TV spots on every network in America, save PBS. Peyton vows to knock that one off his list once Jenna Bush becomes POTUS and gets the FCC house "in order."
Enshrined in 2005 in the Orson Welles Advertising Hall of Fame in Santa Clara, CA. Received the "If it pays, I play" award from Denis Leary at the annual awards buffet lunch.
Athletic Highlights
NFL Awards
Pro Bowls: 00, 01, 03, 04, 05 (MVP), 06, 07
Lady Byng Trophy winner: 98, 99, 00, and 06. Still miffed that "that little foreign midget" Paul Kariya won it from 01 to 05, though Peyton admits that the whole "my meaningless handgestures fool our opponents wicked bad" controversy with Coach Dungy may have cost him votes. Campaigned hard and was re-elected in 06.
2003 AP NFL MVP
2004 NFLPA Gene Upshaw Award winner -- For having an outlandish salary that fools the uninformed into thinking that football players get paid what they should.
Super Bowl Trophies:
Super Bowl MVP Awards:
Super Bowl Appearances:
Career Playoff Wins: 5
Career Playoff Losses: 6
College Awards
Yadda yadda... Whatever.
1997 Davey O'Brien Award -- Declined trophy since Peyton found out O'Brien was only 5 8. Said Peyton, "I'm 6 5. No disrespect to Danny, but he couldn't carry my jockstrap. And once I figure out where that thing goes under my uniform, I'll give you another priceless quote."
Was given the inaugural UT "Thanks for graduating so I can win us a mutherfucking championship" trophy from Tee Martin in 99.
List of National Championships won at UT:
---------------------------------------------------
A Closer Look...
At Isidore Newman High in New Orleans, Manning started three consecutive seasons at quarterback, following a sizeable donation by his rich ex-jock dad.
List of National Championships won at Newman:
Because of his father's "legacy" at Ole Miss (including a truly weird speed limit on campus), Peyton Manning stunned many when he chose to attend the "University" of Tennessee. Peyton would become UT's all-time leading passer with 11,201 yards, though come on, we're talking the Vols here. He was 3-1 in his four bowl appearances and was undefeated in National Championship games played (Tee Martin is 1-0).
Although after nine semesters he had completed his "degree" in mass comm, Manning returned to Tennessee for his senior year in order to score more chicks. Despite an early season loss to archrival Florida, Manning put up even more impressive numbers in his last season in leading the Vols to the SEC title and the inaugural Motor City Bowl game in beautiful downtown De-Troit. Manning received the 1997 Sullivan Award as the top amateur athlete in the United States because Jenny Thompson's closet was full. In 2005, Tennessee retired Manning's number, insuring he would never ever quarterback another game for the Vols.
Also, one of the streets leading to Neyland Stadium has been re-named Peyton Manning By-Pass. It was formerly known as the Johnny Majors Passing Lane, in honor of Coach Phil Fulmer.
Manning was selected first overall in the 1998 draft by the "Indianapolis" Colts despite Archie and Olivia's pleas to be traded to Arizona. And he has started every game in his NFL career (in order to rack up meaningless stats and Q points).
In scouting reports, Manning is known as a "pure" pocket passer rather than a "scrambler." Manning is well known for his frantic hand gestures and shouting before the play while calling out audibles, and is taking a massive dose of Ritalin to control these meaningless and annoying activities.
Peyton Manning -- The Hero's Life.
======================================
Peyton was born March 24, 1976 in New Orleans, LA, on a bed of straw. His mother Olivia declined comment to the gathered media masses upon Peyton's arrival, but fairly glowed with gratitude at her gift to the good people of Louisiana. Other names considered by Archie and his bride: Adam, Archie II, RocketArm, Pencil Neck, and ShouldaBeenTee'sBackup (rejected as too many syllables by Archie, who likes words and names with no more than 2).
Marketing Highlights
Received Q Score of 27 in 2005, the third highest to Warren Sapp (30+) and Matt Light (28) among professional football players that year.
Has appeared in TV spots on every network in America, save PBS. Peyton vows to knock that one off his list once Jenna Bush becomes POTUS and gets the FCC house "in order."
Enshrined in 2005 in the Orson Welles Advertising Hall of Fame in Santa Clara, CA. Received the "If it pays, I play" award from Denis Leary at the annual awards buffet lunch.
Athletic Highlights
NFL Awards
Pro Bowls: 00, 01, 03, 04, 05 (MVP), 06, 07
Lady Byng Trophy winner: 98, 99, 00, and 06. Still miffed that "that little foreign midget" Paul Kariya won it from 01 to 05, though Peyton admits that the whole "my meaningless handgestures fool our opponents wicked bad" controversy with Coach Dungy may have cost him votes. Campaigned hard and was re-elected in 06.
2003 AP NFL MVP
2004 NFLPA Gene Upshaw Award winner -- For having an outlandish salary that fools the uninformed into thinking that football players get paid what they should.
Super Bowl Trophies:
Super Bowl MVP Awards:
Super Bowl Appearances:
Career Playoff Wins: 5
Career Playoff Losses: 6
College Awards
Yadda yadda... Whatever.
1997 Davey O'Brien Award -- Declined trophy since Peyton found out O'Brien was only 5 8. Said Peyton, "I'm 6 5. No disrespect to Danny, but he couldn't carry my jockstrap. And once I figure out where that thing goes under my uniform, I'll give you another priceless quote."
Was given the inaugural UT "Thanks for graduating so I can win us a mutherfucking championship" trophy from Tee Martin in 99.
List of National Championships won at UT:
---------------------------------------------------
A Closer Look...
At Isidore Newman High in New Orleans, Manning started three consecutive seasons at quarterback, following a sizeable donation by his rich ex-jock dad.
List of National Championships won at Newman:
Because of his father's "legacy" at Ole Miss (including a truly weird speed limit on campus), Peyton Manning stunned many when he chose to attend the "University" of Tennessee. Peyton would become UT's all-time leading passer with 11,201 yards, though come on, we're talking the Vols here. He was 3-1 in his four bowl appearances and was undefeated in National Championship games played (Tee Martin is 1-0).
Although after nine semesters he had completed his "degree" in mass comm, Manning returned to Tennessee for his senior year in order to score more chicks. Despite an early season loss to archrival Florida, Manning put up even more impressive numbers in his last season in leading the Vols to the SEC title and the inaugural Motor City Bowl game in beautiful downtown De-Troit. Manning received the 1997 Sullivan Award as the top amateur athlete in the United States because Jenny Thompson's closet was full. In 2005, Tennessee retired Manning's number, insuring he would never ever quarterback another game for the Vols.
Also, one of the streets leading to Neyland Stadium has been re-named Peyton Manning By-Pass. It was formerly known as the Johnny Majors Passing Lane, in honor of Coach Phil Fulmer.
Manning was selected first overall in the 1998 draft by the "Indianapolis" Colts despite Archie and Olivia's pleas to be traded to Arizona. And he has started every game in his NFL career (in order to rack up meaningless stats and Q points).
In scouting reports, Manning is known as a "pure" pocket passer rather than a "scrambler." Manning is well known for his frantic hand gestures and shouting before the play while calling out audibles, and is taking a massive dose of Ritalin to control these meaningless and annoying activities.
posted by joe sweeney at 6:53 PM
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