"Let's Get Something Straight Between Us..": True/False Test about Karl Rove
1) Rove is the strongest man in the world, as he can leg press 2,000 pounds.
2) Rove attended four different universities during the time of the Vietnam War and afterwards, but did not receive a degree from any of them. And has obtained no degrees beyond a high school diploma to this day.
3) Rove divorced his first wife while she was in the hospital recovering from a bout with cancer so that he could cohabitate with an employee many years his junior.
4) Rove was born on Christmas Day, 1950.
5) Rove was elected Senior Class President in High School.
6) Rove has been named as someone of interest to the Watergate prosecutors according to testimony from John Dean, but they declined to pursue him because they had "bigger fish to fry."
7) Rove has secretly had a major man-crush on George W. Bush since their first meeting in the fall of 1973. Here's Rove's description of W: "Huge amounts of charisma, swagger, cowboy boots, flight jacket, wonderful smile, just charisma - you know, wow!"
8) Rove was named by Barbara Walters as 2004's "Most Fascinating Man of the Year."
9) Rove was elected, at the age of 24, "Exalted Cyclops" of his local KKK chapter. He later left the group due to the revalation that he, as a 20 year old, had sexual relations with his family's 16 year old maid. The maid became pregnant due to the intercourse and gave birth to an illegitimate child, who received money regularly from Rove throughout her life.
10) Karl Rove is going straight to heaven whenever he passes.
Answers:
1) False. The correct answer is senior citizen Pat Robertson, who claims that due to his exceptional diet, he has leg pressed one ton, making him the world's strongest man.
2) True. But he reads a lot.
3) False. That was Newt Gingrich. I have no idea how Karl Rove divorced his first wife.
4) True. And that is why, under the Bush II Presidency, December 25th was made into a national holiday for all to enjoy.
5) True But really, it was at a high school in Salt Lake City. The competition was Pedro's mother's cousin and a 17 year old girl who had been married for four years and had three children to take care of. How could he lose? Actually, I believe the Utah Supreme Court was called in to break a deadlock between the married girl and Rove. Rove won 4-3, along straight party lines.
6) True. Nixon and Ehrlichman, among others, were the bigger fish, at least at that moment in time.
7) False, but really a trick question. The quote is accurate. Hell, cowboy boots AND a flight jacket? Who wouldn't fall in love? I feel tingly just sitting here typing. But to say that Rove has man-crush implies a capacity for normal, healthy human emotion. Karl Rove does not suffer emotions such as love, empathy, or lust. Therefore the answer is "False".
8) True. So I guess Barbara Walters really needed to get laid back in 2004.
9) False. Sheesh. The first part describes West Virginia Senator Robert Byrd. The second part describes the late South Carolina Senator Strom Thurmond.
10) False.
2) Rove attended four different universities during the time of the Vietnam War and afterwards, but did not receive a degree from any of them. And has obtained no degrees beyond a high school diploma to this day.
3) Rove divorced his first wife while she was in the hospital recovering from a bout with cancer so that he could cohabitate with an employee many years his junior.
4) Rove was born on Christmas Day, 1950.
5) Rove was elected Senior Class President in High School.
6) Rove has been named as someone of interest to the Watergate prosecutors according to testimony from John Dean, but they declined to pursue him because they had "bigger fish to fry."
7) Rove has secretly had a major man-crush on George W. Bush since their first meeting in the fall of 1973. Here's Rove's description of W: "Huge amounts of charisma, swagger, cowboy boots, flight jacket, wonderful smile, just charisma - you know, wow!"
8) Rove was named by Barbara Walters as 2004's "Most Fascinating Man of the Year."
9) Rove was elected, at the age of 24, "Exalted Cyclops" of his local KKK chapter. He later left the group due to the revalation that he, as a 20 year old, had sexual relations with his family's 16 year old maid. The maid became pregnant due to the intercourse and gave birth to an illegitimate child, who received money regularly from Rove throughout her life.
10) Karl Rove is going straight to heaven whenever he passes.
Answers:
1) False. The correct answer is senior citizen Pat Robertson, who claims that due to his exceptional diet, he has leg pressed one ton, making him the world's strongest man.
2) True. But he reads a lot.
3) False. That was Newt Gingrich. I have no idea how Karl Rove divorced his first wife.
4) True. And that is why, under the Bush II Presidency, December 25th was made into a national holiday for all to enjoy.
5) True But really, it was at a high school in Salt Lake City. The competition was Pedro's mother's cousin and a 17 year old girl who had been married for four years and had three children to take care of. How could he lose? Actually, I believe the Utah Supreme Court was called in to break a deadlock between the married girl and Rove. Rove won 4-3, along straight party lines.
6) True. Nixon and Ehrlichman, among others, were the bigger fish, at least at that moment in time.
7) False, but really a trick question. The quote is accurate. Hell, cowboy boots AND a flight jacket? Who wouldn't fall in love? I feel tingly just sitting here typing. But to say that Rove has man-crush implies a capacity for normal, healthy human emotion. Karl Rove does not suffer emotions such as love, empathy, or lust. Therefore the answer is "False".
8) True. So I guess Barbara Walters really needed to get laid back in 2004.
9) False. Sheesh. The first part describes West Virginia Senator Robert Byrd. The second part describes the late South Carolina Senator Strom Thurmond.
10) False.
posted by joe sweeney at 6:46 PM
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