We like you too, Amy. Not so sure about Ricky, though.
I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence...The Movie
Directed by Jim Abrahams? Michael Gondry? Spike Jonze? Sharon Maguire?
Screenplay by Amy Sedaris, David Sedaris and Stephen Colbert (if he's free).
Starring -- Amy Sedaris. NO fat suits on this one, ok, Amy? You are georgeous, you know it and we know it. This will make you a big, bright, shining star, I tell ya. And no overacting!
Costarring -- As the Partygoers --
--- Stephen Colbert -- Assuming his price can be met. That may eat much of the $10m budget. I hear he's a wicked tough get...and a bit of a pompous ass, from what I've seen of his television show.
--- Jack Black -- Yeah, right. But anything's possible.
--- a Mr. David Sedaris -- Playing a gay humor writer (he can take some Method classes).
--- the "wacky, man killing friend that has an unspoken rivalry with Amy over potential luvers" -- Amy Adams? Parker Posey?
With --
---- Christopher Lloyd -- As some guy Amy meets on the street during her afternoon travels. Let him make up a character. He's brilliant.
---- William Macy can't not be funny. Again, brilliant. (Ok, the budget just got smashed!)
Dolly Grip: Andy Sweeney - Like that's not the third most important job in the making of a fucking movie?
=============================
First Act: Start with a whole lot of "Mrs. Dalloway" (but FUNNY!), as we follow Ms. Sedaris through her preparations whilst taking a fanciful journey through the trappings of her mind.
As the day's prep work is being done, as in "Bridget Jones' Diary", Amy does voiceover using some of the best material from her book. Basically that means having her opening to a random page and....reading. She can't NOT be funny at that.
The party that evening is to be thrown by Amy in honor of her divorce from her loser of a husband, Ricky, to whom she was married in Vegas during some drunken weekend a year or so earlier (...or did she?...).
And you know what that means? Yes, fellas....she's single!!!
Back to the movie....
Throughout the day, Amy does whatever wacky things Amy Sedaris might do in the course of a day. This may be a documentary. Easy shoot. All the while, weird and wonderful things are going on around her, to which she is seemingly oblivious. Amy lives in a universe where there are no rules ("Top Secret"/"Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"/"Airplane"/"Amelie"), yet she maintains her "sanity" (cluelessness?) while these strange things are happening during her walk through the streets of Amy's rather bohemian neighborhood by simply not noticing them. Example: She passes a store that sells only nursing bras. Yes, nursing bras.
Another way to play the afternoon could be with Amy talking directly to the camera every now and then, explaining the history of her neighborhood, what her life is like, etc. I saw a great clip of her Letterman appearance on YouTube from a few years back doing the same thing, but this time she would have to meet up with some of the area's unusual "characters", since it won't be 4am. Maybe guys hit on her as she's discussing how to hold the perfect party. Maybe she gets mugged. Maybe she witnesses a mugging. Maybe she meets a German tour group. Anyway...
Amy fills the day with a bit of food shopping ("Notice in local health food stores how unhealthy the people tend to look?"); all the while we're hearing intermittent voiceover samplings from the book: What a Party Means to Me. Something about her family's rather unique history (nothing too depressing, though. Keep 'em laughing, huh, Amy?) The Money Jar. Blind Dates...at home (A sample Sedaris blind date conversation starter: "How do you teach hope?"), visiting with friends. For example, maybe she has a friend dying of AIDS, who treats her kindnesses contemptuously. Amy is not aware of this, as her mind-blowing cheerfullness is often met with scorn by others, to which she is clueless. Etc. Hard to go wrong there.
Second Act: The party is set to begin at 8pm. We see Amy taking a shower. Shaving her armpits, clipping nosehair, that type of stuff. The music could be something by Queen, maybe. Setting the table, putting the finishing touches on the meal, which might be Pastitsio (which Colbert's character will continuously butcher the pronunciation of, obviously.) served with Spanakapita (ditto), Greek Beans, and Tula's Country-style Greek Salad, and white wine. Dessert will be Baked Alaska.
As Amy is a stickler for timeliness, her guests are not allowed into her cramped, stylish, cheerful, yet slightly dusty and decrepit fourth floor walkup (one bedroom, one bath, but a decent sized dining room) until exactly 8 ("Those last fifteen minutes before a party are vital and for me the most enjoyable. I just love that time to myself."), though several are knocking on the door sporadically ten or so minutes prior. We may or may not hear a few tortured cries of hunger coming from outside the door.
The party begins, everyone has a great time, cliches abound, and nothing is resolved. Just some (hopefully) funny banter and scenery chewing. By this time the audience is in such deep like with the movie that they will laugh at anything. Hell, with Sedaris, her brother, Colbert, and possibly Jack Black and Parker Posey you'd just let the cameras roll and they can improvise. I'd watch that.
Final Scene -- Maybe "Ferris Bueller"-like, as Amy tells the camera that you'd better live the life you want, because you only go around once. Of something like that. Obviously, she is brushing her teeth and wearing a bunny suit for pajamas (ears, big feet, the whole deal.)
Yeah, I'd pay to see that.
Directed by Jim Abrahams? Michael Gondry? Spike Jonze? Sharon Maguire?
Screenplay by Amy Sedaris, David Sedaris and Stephen Colbert (if he's free).
Starring -- Amy Sedaris. NO fat suits on this one, ok, Amy? You are georgeous, you know it and we know it. This will make you a big, bright, shining star, I tell ya. And no overacting!
Costarring -- As the Partygoers --
--- Stephen Colbert -- Assuming his price can be met. That may eat much of the $10m budget. I hear he's a wicked tough get...and a bit of a pompous ass, from what I've seen of his television show.
--- Jack Black -- Yeah, right. But anything's possible.
--- a Mr. David Sedaris -- Playing a gay humor writer (he can take some Method classes).
--- the "wacky, man killing friend that has an unspoken rivalry with Amy over potential luvers" -- Amy Adams? Parker Posey?
With --
---- Christopher Lloyd -- As some guy Amy meets on the street during her afternoon travels. Let him make up a character. He's brilliant.
---- William Macy can't not be funny. Again, brilliant. (Ok, the budget just got smashed!)
Dolly Grip: Andy Sweeney - Like that's not the third most important job in the making of a fucking movie?
=============================
First Act: Start with a whole lot of "Mrs. Dalloway" (but FUNNY!), as we follow Ms. Sedaris through her preparations whilst taking a fanciful journey through the trappings of her mind.
As the day's prep work is being done, as in "Bridget Jones' Diary", Amy does voiceover using some of the best material from her book. Basically that means having her opening to a random page and....reading. She can't NOT be funny at that.
The party that evening is to be thrown by Amy in honor of her divorce from her loser of a husband, Ricky, to whom she was married in Vegas during some drunken weekend a year or so earlier (...or did she?...).
And you know what that means? Yes, fellas....she's single!!!
Back to the movie....
Throughout the day, Amy does whatever wacky things Amy Sedaris might do in the course of a day. This may be a documentary. Easy shoot. All the while, weird and wonderful things are going on around her, to which she is seemingly oblivious. Amy lives in a universe where there are no rules ("Top Secret"/"Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"/"Airplane"/"Amelie"), yet she maintains her "sanity" (cluelessness?) while these strange things are happening during her walk through the streets of Amy's rather bohemian neighborhood by simply not noticing them. Example: She passes a store that sells only nursing bras. Yes, nursing bras.
Another way to play the afternoon could be with Amy talking directly to the camera every now and then, explaining the history of her neighborhood, what her life is like, etc. I saw a great clip of her Letterman appearance on YouTube from a few years back doing the same thing, but this time she would have to meet up with some of the area's unusual "characters", since it won't be 4am. Maybe guys hit on her as she's discussing how to hold the perfect party. Maybe she gets mugged. Maybe she witnesses a mugging. Maybe she meets a German tour group. Anyway...
Amy fills the day with a bit of food shopping ("Notice in local health food stores how unhealthy the people tend to look?"); all the while we're hearing intermittent voiceover samplings from the book: What a Party Means to Me. Something about her family's rather unique history (nothing too depressing, though. Keep 'em laughing, huh, Amy?) The Money Jar. Blind Dates...at home (A sample Sedaris blind date conversation starter: "How do you teach hope?"), visiting with friends. For example, maybe she has a friend dying of AIDS, who treats her kindnesses contemptuously. Amy is not aware of this, as her mind-blowing cheerfullness is often met with scorn by others, to which she is clueless. Etc. Hard to go wrong there.
Second Act: The party is set to begin at 8pm. We see Amy taking a shower. Shaving her armpits, clipping nosehair, that type of stuff. The music could be something by Queen, maybe. Setting the table, putting the finishing touches on the meal, which might be Pastitsio (which Colbert's character will continuously butcher the pronunciation of, obviously.) served with Spanakapita (ditto), Greek Beans, and Tula's Country-style Greek Salad, and white wine. Dessert will be Baked Alaska.
As Amy is a stickler for timeliness, her guests are not allowed into her cramped, stylish, cheerful, yet slightly dusty and decrepit fourth floor walkup (one bedroom, one bath, but a decent sized dining room) until exactly 8 ("Those last fifteen minutes before a party are vital and for me the most enjoyable. I just love that time to myself."), though several are knocking on the door sporadically ten or so minutes prior. We may or may not hear a few tortured cries of hunger coming from outside the door.
The party begins, everyone has a great time, cliches abound, and nothing is resolved. Just some (hopefully) funny banter and scenery chewing. By this time the audience is in such deep like with the movie that they will laugh at anything. Hell, with Sedaris, her brother, Colbert, and possibly Jack Black and Parker Posey you'd just let the cameras roll and they can improvise. I'd watch that.
Final Scene -- Maybe "Ferris Bueller"-like, as Amy tells the camera that you'd better live the life you want, because you only go around once. Of something like that. Obviously, she is brushing her teeth and wearing a bunny suit for pajamas (ears, big feet, the whole deal.)
Yeah, I'd pay to see that.
posted by joe sweeney at 1:46 PM
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