News Quiz Time!
We'd like to thank all those who made this quiz necessary, as Yogi said.
-----------------------------------------
From the 12/4/06 edition of "Newsweek" --
1) What line did Newsweek post under photos of Rupert Murdoch and O.J. Simpson in a story on publisher Judith Regen?
a) -- O.J. to Rupert: "So...how many people have YOU murdered, Big Guy?"
b) -- Rupert to O.J.: "I see a series, too! Oops, cancel that."
c) -- Murdoch to O.J.: "Remember, no matter what, I have to come out looking good."
d) -- Nixed: Murdoch canceled O.J.'s book deal and TV spot due to public outcry.
2) What is the subtitle to the "My Turn" essay (each week a so-called "normal, everyday" American gets to have their thoughts published) written by Mrs. Eileen B. of Michigan, titled "Thou Shalt Not Turn Me Into a False Idol." Mrs. B.'s husband is a pastor.
a) -- Because I'm a pastor's wife, everyone thinks my husband is attracted to young boys.
b) -- Because I'm a pastor's wife, a lot of people assume I must be borderline retarded.
c) -- Because I'm a pastor's wife, everyone thinks my life is perfect and they have me figured out. Not so fast.
d) -- Because I'm a pastor's wife, everyone assumes my new Corvette was bought with church money. Not true. The money actually came from online scams.
3) What state is the writer of the following letter writer from?
"I'd call myself an independant, but I've almost always voted Republican. Jonathan Alter expresses the very reason I did not vote Republican this midterm election: the Terri Schiavo case. It wasn't the war, it wasn't the economy -- it was Schiavo. For Gov. Jeb Bush and President George W. Bush to interfere in this personal and private family matter, to have embroiled the nation as they did, cost the Republicans my family's two votes." -- Linda G.
a) Massachusetts
b) New York
c) California
d) Florida
4) Followup to #3 -- What is the best way to describe what Mrs. G's life might be like?
a) She is a stay at home mom with four kids, aged 3,4,5,6. Her husband is an office manager for a local defense contractor. They are devout churchgoers who watch a lot of Fox News and expect The Rapture any day now.
b) The future Mrs. G's mom drank during her pregnancy, often to excess. The future Mrs. G had three boys by the time she was 21, by two different men. Then, she found God, became born again, and married Mr. G, an engineer who volunteered with the local Big Brother group by taking a dozen of so youngsters on overnight camping trips. She is thankful for all her blessings now, and can't understand why all homeless folks smell so bad.
c) Mrs. G loves to get all her weekly shopping needs met at the local Globo-Mart. She thinks it's so convenient that she doesn't have to deal with all the downtown or mall traffic anymore, and finds that her Ford Mega-Explorer gives her a nice feeling of safety by allowing her to "drive way up high." And she writes many letters to the editor of the local paper.
d) Mrs. G is retired with her third husband, living in an ocean view condo with pictures of her 46 grand children and great grandchildren on top of the family's 20 year old television set, which is roughly the size of a coffin. Mrs. G does not know if 3,000 or 30,000 US troops have been killed in the Middle East, and does not care since she has complete faith in the President's ability to manage the war.
e) Any of the above is plausible
5) The usually clear thinking and sober Fareed Zakaria wrote an essay titled "The Next Step? Think Vietnam.", in which he advises the nation to look to the example of Henry Kissinger's lengthy negotiations with the North Vietnamese leaders as a blueprint for how the Bush administration can extricate the US military from Iraq. The use of mass murderer Kissinger as an example of how our government should change course and try to save face means that:
a) The end is truly near.
b) We here at Apartment404 give up. We just give up.
c) Henry Kissinger, one of the best practitioners of realpolitik in the 20th Century, will advise President Bush to bomb Iran and Syria as soon as possible. World War III ensues. And THEN all hell breaks loose on the planet.
d) The government of the US has no idea what they're doing, either. But still, the troops die. And the Iraqis die. With no end in sight.
6) The neoconservative architects of the Iraq War have largely left the administration. What are some of the fellas up to these days? All of the following are true except one:
a) Paul Wolfowitz works for the World Bank and does not comment on his role in the "Fiasco."
b) Douglas Feith "teaches" at Georgetown and admits that mistakes were made.
c) On March 27, 2003, Richard Perle resigned as chairman of the Defense Policy Board, though he still remains a member of the board. Perle remains an advocate of pre-emptive wars by the US military.
d) William Kristol, who runs "The Weekly Standard" and was never part of the administration though he is often referred to as "The neocon's neocon", is quoted by "Newsweek" as stating, "For a group that's discredited, an awful lot of people are spending an awful lot of time discrediting us." (He then may have run out of the room cackling "hahahahahahaha", though we're not sure about that.)
e) Dick Cheney spends much of his time assisting our President in the White House.
7) Ellis Cose wrote an essay on the Michael Richards racist rant titled "Sorry Isn't just Another Word." In it, he mentions that "the young men who were the target of Richards's racist rage have already pronounced themselves unsatisfied with his first public apology." Why is that?
a) The two young men, honor students studying to become architects, were extremely busy going to confession and doing volunteer work for shut-ins and thus could not be reached for further comment.
b) The two young men were involved in negotiations to sell their dual life story to Rupert Murdoch. Working title, "He did it! He did it!"
c) The two young men were too busy hiring a lawyer and going to the media, asking Richards for "some money," to pay attention to the actor/comedian's apology.
d) The two young men spent the rest of the week heckling other edgy comics, hoping for another potential payday.
8) A Mr. George Berg of South Carolina successfully sued a man who had an affair with his then wife for $150,000 for violating the state's "Alienation of Affection" Statute. In January, Berg will begin receiving monthly checks. These laws originated from the belief that the wife was simply property belonging to the husband. Seven states still have such laws on their books. What was Mr. Berg quoted as saying about his wife's affair and their subsequent divorce?
a) "Ca-ching! Ca-ching!"
b) "Ladies....I'm single again!"
c) "I may be a pathetic asshole, but I'm rich, you bastards! I'm rich! Suck on that! Hey, you guys know any single hotties?"
c) "I loved my wife more than anything in the entire world."
d) "I loved my wife more than just about anything in the entire world, except for that brand new Mustang the lawsuit paid for!"
--------------------------------------------------
From the "Portland Press Herald." --
9) From the 11/29/06 edition. Story by David Hench: "Cumberland County Sheriff Mark Dion says that when Channel 13 airs its second installment of 'Fugitive Files' tonight, it will be like flashing a local wanted poster in front of thousands of potential witnesses. 'Who knows best where these people are but the folks they're living with?' said Dion, whose agency is working with the local CBS affiliate in creating the news feature. 'This attempts to get the citizen to take a proactive approach to help us do fugitive investigations.'" -- Sheriff Dion went on to further say.....what?
a) "We're modeling the whole thing on the KGB. They kept a pretty tight lid on crime back in Communist Russia. If enough family members turn in their sons/daughters/parents/spouses, we'll lick all crime in Cumberland County. God willing."
b) "After the recent success of NBC's 'To Catch A Predator' in likely causing the suicide of a potential pedophile, we're hoping that quite a few past, present, and future criminals off themselves right here in Cumberland County, Maine. That would be a lot less mess for us to deal with. God willing."
c) "Hey, in Islamic nations they cut off thieves forearms for taking a loaf of bread. We're not going that far. I mean we're not savages. Just a couple of fingers would suit the Sheriff's Department just fine."
d) "They want to be there when the long arm of the law finally grabs that person. That's the payback for the public."
10) How much was bail set for a Mr. JL, who was a feature story on WGME's "Fugitive Files" for committing a drug possession misdemeanor and not showing up for his court date?
a) $500,000
b) 20 bucks and Mr. JLs bootleg 'Nightline' tapes, which were handed over to WGME "news" director Robb Atkinson and burned.
c) Held without bail due to flight risk. The perp owned a Segway scooter.
d) $140
11) From a recent letter appearing in the PPH, written by a Mr. WM of Wiscasset regarding the death of ex-NFLer Pat Tillman from friendly fire and the subsequent attempt by his parents to get past the government coverup and find out the truth regarding how he was killed : "(I)n warfare, many situations arise that put troops in danger of friendly fire....Nevertheless, that men die in such circumstances does not detract from their bravery and heroism. It serves no purpose to tell the relatives of such victims that their son or daughter died in such circumstances. All it does is bring on unnecessary anguish. I was in high school during World War II and delivered many telegrams for Western Union advising families of the wounding or death of a service member. Not one described the circumstances." -- What are the major differences between World War II and America's pre-emptive strike on Iraq?
a) When almost half a million US soldiers die in a war covering most of the planet in the pre-tv, pre internet, pre information age, the War Department probably had no idea how most of the men died at the time the families were notified.
b) Apparently, Western Union employees read a lot of private mail back in the day. Today, our internets communications are secure and reliable.
c) There was a draft following US entry into World War II. Today, the military is all volunteer. These men and women chose to put their lives on the line; they were not forced to by the government. And should not be treated as disposable cogs in a great war machine.
d) In World War II, the Germans, Italians and Japanese were the bad guys. Today, we are.
e) All of the above.
===================================
1) Answer is d)
2) Answer is c)
3) Answer is d)
4) Answer is e), in our opinion
5) Answer is d), though a) is acceptable, since we arethisclose to giving up.
6) e) is untrue. VP Cheney remains in an undisclosed location, cleaning his gun.
7) Answer is c)
8) Answer is c)
9) Answer is d)
10) Answer is d)
11) Answer is e)
-----------------------------------------
From the 12/4/06 edition of "Newsweek" --
1) What line did Newsweek post under photos of Rupert Murdoch and O.J. Simpson in a story on publisher Judith Regen?
a) -- O.J. to Rupert: "So...how many people have YOU murdered, Big Guy?"
b) -- Rupert to O.J.: "I see a series, too! Oops, cancel that."
c) -- Murdoch to O.J.: "Remember, no matter what, I have to come out looking good."
d) -- Nixed: Murdoch canceled O.J.'s book deal and TV spot due to public outcry.
2) What is the subtitle to the "My Turn" essay (each week a so-called "normal, everyday" American gets to have their thoughts published) written by Mrs. Eileen B. of Michigan, titled "Thou Shalt Not Turn Me Into a False Idol." Mrs. B.'s husband is a pastor.
a) -- Because I'm a pastor's wife, everyone thinks my husband is attracted to young boys.
b) -- Because I'm a pastor's wife, a lot of people assume I must be borderline retarded.
c) -- Because I'm a pastor's wife, everyone thinks my life is perfect and they have me figured out. Not so fast.
d) -- Because I'm a pastor's wife, everyone assumes my new Corvette was bought with church money. Not true. The money actually came from online scams.
3) What state is the writer of the following letter writer from?
"I'd call myself an independant, but I've almost always voted Republican. Jonathan Alter expresses the very reason I did not vote Republican this midterm election: the Terri Schiavo case. It wasn't the war, it wasn't the economy -- it was Schiavo. For Gov. Jeb Bush and President George W. Bush to interfere in this personal and private family matter, to have embroiled the nation as they did, cost the Republicans my family's two votes." -- Linda G.
a) Massachusetts
b) New York
c) California
d) Florida
4) Followup to #3 -- What is the best way to describe what Mrs. G's life might be like?
a) She is a stay at home mom with four kids, aged 3,4,5,6. Her husband is an office manager for a local defense contractor. They are devout churchgoers who watch a lot of Fox News and expect The Rapture any day now.
b) The future Mrs. G's mom drank during her pregnancy, often to excess. The future Mrs. G had three boys by the time she was 21, by two different men. Then, she found God, became born again, and married Mr. G, an engineer who volunteered with the local Big Brother group by taking a dozen of so youngsters on overnight camping trips. She is thankful for all her blessings now, and can't understand why all homeless folks smell so bad.
c) Mrs. G loves to get all her weekly shopping needs met at the local Globo-Mart. She thinks it's so convenient that she doesn't have to deal with all the downtown or mall traffic anymore, and finds that her Ford Mega-Explorer gives her a nice feeling of safety by allowing her to "drive way up high." And she writes many letters to the editor of the local paper.
d) Mrs. G is retired with her third husband, living in an ocean view condo with pictures of her 46 grand children and great grandchildren on top of the family's 20 year old television set, which is roughly the size of a coffin. Mrs. G does not know if 3,000 or 30,000 US troops have been killed in the Middle East, and does not care since she has complete faith in the President's ability to manage the war.
e) Any of the above is plausible
5) The usually clear thinking and sober Fareed Zakaria wrote an essay titled "The Next Step? Think Vietnam.", in which he advises the nation to look to the example of Henry Kissinger's lengthy negotiations with the North Vietnamese leaders as a blueprint for how the Bush administration can extricate the US military from Iraq. The use of mass murderer Kissinger as an example of how our government should change course and try to save face means that:
a) The end is truly near.
b) We here at Apartment404 give up. We just give up.
c) Henry Kissinger, one of the best practitioners of realpolitik in the 20th Century, will advise President Bush to bomb Iran and Syria as soon as possible. World War III ensues. And THEN all hell breaks loose on the planet.
d) The government of the US has no idea what they're doing, either. But still, the troops die. And the Iraqis die. With no end in sight.
6) The neoconservative architects of the Iraq War have largely left the administration. What are some of the fellas up to these days? All of the following are true except one:
a) Paul Wolfowitz works for the World Bank and does not comment on his role in the "Fiasco."
b) Douglas Feith "teaches" at Georgetown and admits that mistakes were made.
c) On March 27, 2003, Richard Perle resigned as chairman of the Defense Policy Board, though he still remains a member of the board. Perle remains an advocate of pre-emptive wars by the US military.
d) William Kristol, who runs "The Weekly Standard" and was never part of the administration though he is often referred to as "The neocon's neocon", is quoted by "Newsweek" as stating, "For a group that's discredited, an awful lot of people are spending an awful lot of time discrediting us." (He then may have run out of the room cackling "hahahahahahaha", though we're not sure about that.)
e) Dick Cheney spends much of his time assisting our President in the White House.
7) Ellis Cose wrote an essay on the Michael Richards racist rant titled "Sorry Isn't just Another Word." In it, he mentions that "the young men who were the target of Richards's racist rage have already pronounced themselves unsatisfied with his first public apology." Why is that?
a) The two young men, honor students studying to become architects, were extremely busy going to confession and doing volunteer work for shut-ins and thus could not be reached for further comment.
b) The two young men were involved in negotiations to sell their dual life story to Rupert Murdoch. Working title, "He did it! He did it!"
c) The two young men were too busy hiring a lawyer and going to the media, asking Richards for "some money," to pay attention to the actor/comedian's apology.
d) The two young men spent the rest of the week heckling other edgy comics, hoping for another potential payday.
8) A Mr. George Berg of South Carolina successfully sued a man who had an affair with his then wife for $150,000 for violating the state's "Alienation of Affection" Statute. In January, Berg will begin receiving monthly checks. These laws originated from the belief that the wife was simply property belonging to the husband. Seven states still have such laws on their books. What was Mr. Berg quoted as saying about his wife's affair and their subsequent divorce?
a) "Ca-ching! Ca-ching!"
b) "Ladies....I'm single again!"
c) "I may be a pathetic asshole, but I'm rich, you bastards! I'm rich! Suck on that! Hey, you guys know any single hotties?"
c) "I loved my wife more than anything in the entire world."
d) "I loved my wife more than just about anything in the entire world, except for that brand new Mustang the lawsuit paid for!"
--------------------------------------------------
From the "Portland Press Herald." --
9) From the 11/29/06 edition. Story by David Hench: "Cumberland County Sheriff Mark Dion says that when Channel 13 airs its second installment of 'Fugitive Files' tonight, it will be like flashing a local wanted poster in front of thousands of potential witnesses. 'Who knows best where these people are but the folks they're living with?' said Dion, whose agency is working with the local CBS affiliate in creating the news feature. 'This attempts to get the citizen to take a proactive approach to help us do fugitive investigations.'" -- Sheriff Dion went on to further say.....what?
a) "We're modeling the whole thing on the KGB. They kept a pretty tight lid on crime back in Communist Russia. If enough family members turn in their sons/daughters/parents/spouses, we'll lick all crime in Cumberland County. God willing."
b) "After the recent success of NBC's 'To Catch A Predator' in likely causing the suicide of a potential pedophile, we're hoping that quite a few past, present, and future criminals off themselves right here in Cumberland County, Maine. That would be a lot less mess for us to deal with. God willing."
c) "Hey, in Islamic nations they cut off thieves forearms for taking a loaf of bread. We're not going that far. I mean we're not savages. Just a couple of fingers would suit the Sheriff's Department just fine."
d) "They want to be there when the long arm of the law finally grabs that person. That's the payback for the public."
10) How much was bail set for a Mr. JL, who was a feature story on WGME's "Fugitive Files" for committing a drug possession misdemeanor and not showing up for his court date?
a) $500,000
b) 20 bucks and Mr. JLs bootleg 'Nightline' tapes, which were handed over to WGME "news" director Robb Atkinson and burned.
c) Held without bail due to flight risk. The perp owned a Segway scooter.
d) $140
11) From a recent letter appearing in the PPH, written by a Mr. WM of Wiscasset regarding the death of ex-NFLer Pat Tillman from friendly fire and the subsequent attempt by his parents to get past the government coverup and find out the truth regarding how he was killed : "(I)n warfare, many situations arise that put troops in danger of friendly fire....Nevertheless, that men die in such circumstances does not detract from their bravery and heroism. It serves no purpose to tell the relatives of such victims that their son or daughter died in such circumstances. All it does is bring on unnecessary anguish. I was in high school during World War II and delivered many telegrams for Western Union advising families of the wounding or death of a service member. Not one described the circumstances." -- What are the major differences between World War II and America's pre-emptive strike on Iraq?
a) When almost half a million US soldiers die in a war covering most of the planet in the pre-tv, pre internet, pre information age, the War Department probably had no idea how most of the men died at the time the families were notified.
b) Apparently, Western Union employees read a lot of private mail back in the day. Today, our internets communications are secure and reliable.
c) There was a draft following US entry into World War II. Today, the military is all volunteer. These men and women chose to put their lives on the line; they were not forced to by the government. And should not be treated as disposable cogs in a great war machine.
d) In World War II, the Germans, Italians and Japanese were the bad guys. Today, we are.
e) All of the above.
===================================
1) Answer is d)
2) Answer is c)
3) Answer is d)
4) Answer is e), in our opinion
5) Answer is d), though a) is acceptable, since we arethisclose to giving up.
6) e) is untrue. VP Cheney remains in an undisclosed location, cleaning his gun.
7) Answer is c)
8) Answer is c)
9) Answer is d)
10) Answer is d)
11) Answer is e)
posted by joe sweeney at 10:02 AM
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