We didn't know. They didn't know. You didn't know, either.
The Maine Division of Dead Children, Dead Youth, and Psychotically Dysfunctional Family Services has been inundated with Dora the Explorer dolls, various stuffed animals, Megabucks tickets, Skechers and myrrh during the past week following the mass of publicity concerning the beating, rape, torture, and dismemberment of little Betty Shepard by her fairy godmother on December 12 in Springfield.
A Mr. Scott Simon, spokesman for the MDODCDYAEDFS, told media that, "We're certainly happy to be involved in getting the gifts to the corpse. And hoping it has a very Merry Christmas, Hannakhah, or Kwanzaa. Whichever holiday the corpse prefers to celebrate. We're going to be extremely active in making sure that this dead child stays safe and has a good opportunity to experience a healthy and happy burial."
Ms. Shepard, whose roots were in Nashua, N.H but whose family travelled the nation for much of her youth, had lived with her fairy godmother in the same apartment on the same street in the same city for the past several years. In the two weeks prior to her murder and dismemberment neighbors called the local police anonymously to ask that something, anything be done for the poor child.
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Following statewide publicity over the beating, rape, torture, and dismemberment of young Ms. Shepard, expressions of grief and outrage have been received from every corner of the state:
The Springfield town council unanimously endorsed a resolution making it illegal to beat, rape, torture, and dismember a child within the township's defined legal boundaries. And sent flowers to the funeral home where Ms. Shepard is located now.
The state legislature is calling for the deportation of any unlicensed fairy godmothers living in Maine without proper identification.
Places of worship throughout the greater Springfield area are asking their congregations to declare this Monday a day of prayer and worship, in remembrance.
The local affiliate for UBS network plans to air a three hour special next week entitled, "Maine's Most Wanted: Who could have done such a thing? Was it (photo here) this guy? Or (photo here) this loser? Or maybe this (photo) weirdo? Huh?" The station has announced that all advertising spots have been sold out.
National cable outlet "The Learning Channel" is planning a special about the murder of young Ms. Shepard. They are using a working title of "How could this happen in America?"
Bloggers nationwide have requested recent photos of the dead girl from the Shepard family. They're also calling for the execution of the fairy godmother because she is a, quote, "massive bitch", and "ugly dyke."
Maine's Congressional delegation could not be reached for comment.
A Mr. Scott Simon, spokesman for the MDODCDYAEDFS, told media that, "We're certainly happy to be involved in getting the gifts to the corpse. And hoping it has a very Merry Christmas, Hannakhah, or Kwanzaa. Whichever holiday the corpse prefers to celebrate. We're going to be extremely active in making sure that this dead child stays safe and has a good opportunity to experience a healthy and happy burial."
Ms. Shepard, whose roots were in Nashua, N.H but whose family travelled the nation for much of her youth, had lived with her fairy godmother in the same apartment on the same street in the same city for the past several years. In the two weeks prior to her murder and dismemberment neighbors called the local police anonymously to ask that something, anything be done for the poor child.
-----------------------------------------
Following statewide publicity over the beating, rape, torture, and dismemberment of young Ms. Shepard, expressions of grief and outrage have been received from every corner of the state:
The Springfield town council unanimously endorsed a resolution making it illegal to beat, rape, torture, and dismember a child within the township's defined legal boundaries. And sent flowers to the funeral home where Ms. Shepard is located now.
The state legislature is calling for the deportation of any unlicensed fairy godmothers living in Maine without proper identification.
Places of worship throughout the greater Springfield area are asking their congregations to declare this Monday a day of prayer and worship, in remembrance.
The local affiliate for UBS network plans to air a three hour special next week entitled, "Maine's Most Wanted: Who could have done such a thing? Was it (photo here) this guy? Or (photo here) this loser? Or maybe this (photo) weirdo? Huh?" The station has announced that all advertising spots have been sold out.
National cable outlet "The Learning Channel" is planning a special about the murder of young Ms. Shepard. They are using a working title of "How could this happen in America?"
Bloggers nationwide have requested recent photos of the dead girl from the Shepard family. They're also calling for the execution of the fairy godmother because she is a, quote, "massive bitch", and "ugly dyke."
Maine's Congressional delegation could not be reached for comment.
posted by joe sweeney at 8:34 PM
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