WWFJM do?
FireKellyDwyer.blogspot.com is now open for business.
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From Kelly Dwyer's column on SI.com, 12/20/06 --
"Can we end this ... now? Are we really so reverent toward a sport that we have to spend weeks hemming and hawing over the supposed classless ingrates who dared defile a (really crummy) professional basketball game at Madison Square Garden last Saturday night?
Sorry, Kelly, but anytime UNC guys get to kick the shit out of the truly amazing Isiah, then we're interested. Karl was probably pretty happy that the Nuggets were up 20 with less than two minutes to play (who wouldn't be?). And Isiah was not, which is what led to the brawl, most likely.
Yes, some overhyped, overpaid athletes...
If we ever hear the trite, tired expression "overhyped (and) overpaid athletes" from you or anyone else ever again, we're gonna go Gibson on somebody's ass. Get out a fucking thesaurus, Mr. Dwyer. You're employed by Sports Illustrated. OK, the online version. But still, you work at SI(.com). The most important and most influential mag about the games we love that there has ever been. Get with the program, or Robert Creamer is gonna' kick your ass!
...full of bluster and bravado let things get out of hand, spurred on by two coaches and a sporting climate that led them to believe that this particular Nuggets-Knicks game was the most profound happening within their own green world. Worse, the subsequent bouts of overwrought attention will likely turn a Jazz-Kings matchup in January 2009 (the next fight, because they seem to happen every 2,400 games or so) into the latest indication of David Stern's millionaires gone wild.
Just. What. In. The. Heck. Are. You. Talking about, Mr. Professional Interviewer and Writer Abouter of said "classless ingrates?" Johnny Paycheck wouldn't take that shit, but you, you DO.
Yeesh. Can't we get over ourselves? Can't we react the same way that, I don't know, baseball reacts during the half-dozen bench-clearing brawls it sees a year? Should we be expecting this much from these players when we constantly remind them and delude them into thinking that playing a game for our amusement means so bloody much?
"Yeesh?" Yeesh? Did ya hafta use spellcheck on that crap, Kelly? And you are dead wrong about baseball brawls not being a big deal, especially with all the 'roids and such. No more Starvin' Marvins out there. Now, we got some Big Macs and Big Units and Big Hurts ready to tear each others heads off, though the greenies and such have been tapered off supposedly. At least not put out as a pre game snack. Which means that Lenny Dykstra would probably play and fight more like "paper clip" than "Nails" if he were still around.
Some of these guys eat cheeseburgers before games. They affix bracelets to the wrists on their shooting arms. They get tattoos on their shooting wrists! Mike Miller is in Memphis right now wearing a 12-year-old girl's headband, Marko Jaric can't put his jersey on the right way, and Etan Thomas just wrote some more poetry. These guys aren't thugs; they're eccentric millionaires. Thugs throw better punches. Thugs don't commit backcourt violations after slapping someone.
Who said they were all thugs? Did you say they were thugs? Who called them all thugs? Must have been Old School Media such as yourself, Kelly. And Etan Thomas, simply because he has cornrows probably doesn't claim to be any fucking "thug." Have you ever read his poetry? Do you know anything about Etan Thomas and what he does off the court? He's supposed to be pretty damn cool, from what we read in the..... Well, from what folks say, anyway. Yet since he wears 'rows, you assume the dude takes a gangsta' pose. Well, he doesn't. Wake the fuck up.
(While we're at it, first Allen Iverson, then Carmelo Anthony ... when will "The Curse of the NBA's Leading Scorer Doing Stupid Things" cease? Good thing we have the mellow-as-Michael McDonald Gilbert Arenas -- third in scoring, at 29.1 points a game -- to keep things chill and end the streak.)
It's not "mellow-as-Michael McDonald." It's "annoying-as-Michael McDonald." And the strange free throw stylings of Gilbert Arenas make us smile. Every time, man. Every single time.
We're not saying what happened on Saturday night wasn't ugly or embarrassing -- but it wasn't scary.
We have no idea where this Kelly Dwyer grew up. Not a clue. But our gut is telling us (screaming, actually) that he is not exactly used to drive bys, thug-offs, or random beatings. Just a guess. All that we at Apt404 know for sure is that the 'Pent was scared shit-less watching the MSG court filled with massive, Kermit Washington-type professional ass kickers squaring off against one another. With coaches, security, police, and the odd fan out there, too. Not scary? Are you fucking kidding us? That wasn't scary?
And it wasn't indicative of anything more than a bunch of bratty kids, full of themselves, letting their false bravado get the best of them after the levels of accountability were lowered by the opposing coaches. Together, cats and kittens, let's turn off the cable TV and move on.
"Poser - noun. - a person who habitually pretends to be something he is not. sometimes spelled "poseur." show-off, exhibitionist. someone who deliberately behaves in such a way as to attract attention." -- from TheFreeDictionary.com.
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We'll leave FireMikeCelizic.blogspot.com to the real heroes, across the avenue at FireJoeMorgan.blogspot.com. They the shit.
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From Kelly Dwyer's column on SI.com, 12/20/06 --
"Can we end this ... now? Are we really so reverent toward a sport that we have to spend weeks hemming and hawing over the supposed classless ingrates who dared defile a (really crummy) professional basketball game at Madison Square Garden last Saturday night?
Sorry, Kelly, but anytime UNC guys get to kick the shit out of the truly amazing Isiah, then we're interested. Karl was probably pretty happy that the Nuggets were up 20 with less than two minutes to play (who wouldn't be?). And Isiah was not, which is what led to the brawl, most likely.
Yes, some overhyped, overpaid athletes...
If we ever hear the trite, tired expression "overhyped (and) overpaid athletes" from you or anyone else ever again, we're gonna go Gibson on somebody's ass. Get out a fucking thesaurus, Mr. Dwyer. You're employed by Sports Illustrated. OK, the online version. But still, you work at SI(.com). The most important and most influential mag about the games we love that there has ever been. Get with the program, or Robert Creamer is gonna' kick your ass!
...full of bluster and bravado let things get out of hand, spurred on by two coaches and a sporting climate that led them to believe that this particular Nuggets-Knicks game was the most profound happening within their own green world. Worse, the subsequent bouts of overwrought attention will likely turn a Jazz-Kings matchup in January 2009 (the next fight, because they seem to happen every 2,400 games or so) into the latest indication of David Stern's millionaires gone wild.
Just. What. In. The. Heck. Are. You. Talking about, Mr. Professional Interviewer and Writer Abouter of said "classless ingrates?" Johnny Paycheck wouldn't take that shit, but you, you DO.
Yeesh. Can't we get over ourselves? Can't we react the same way that, I don't know, baseball reacts during the half-dozen bench-clearing brawls it sees a year? Should we be expecting this much from these players when we constantly remind them and delude them into thinking that playing a game for our amusement means so bloody much?
"Yeesh?" Yeesh? Did ya hafta use spellcheck on that crap, Kelly? And you are dead wrong about baseball brawls not being a big deal, especially with all the 'roids and such. No more Starvin' Marvins out there. Now, we got some Big Macs and Big Units and Big Hurts ready to tear each others heads off, though the greenies and such have been tapered off supposedly. At least not put out as a pre game snack. Which means that Lenny Dykstra would probably play and fight more like "paper clip" than "Nails" if he were still around.
Some of these guys eat cheeseburgers before games. They affix bracelets to the wrists on their shooting arms. They get tattoos on their shooting wrists! Mike Miller is in Memphis right now wearing a 12-year-old girl's headband, Marko Jaric can't put his jersey on the right way, and Etan Thomas just wrote some more poetry. These guys aren't thugs; they're eccentric millionaires. Thugs throw better punches. Thugs don't commit backcourt violations after slapping someone.
Who said they were all thugs? Did you say they were thugs? Who called them all thugs? Must have been Old School Media such as yourself, Kelly. And Etan Thomas, simply because he has cornrows probably doesn't claim to be any fucking "thug." Have you ever read his poetry? Do you know anything about Etan Thomas and what he does off the court? He's supposed to be pretty damn cool, from what we read in the..... Well, from what folks say, anyway. Yet since he wears 'rows, you assume the dude takes a gangsta' pose. Well, he doesn't. Wake the fuck up.
(While we're at it, first Allen Iverson, then Carmelo Anthony ... when will "The Curse of the NBA's Leading Scorer Doing Stupid Things" cease? Good thing we have the mellow-as-Michael McDonald Gilbert Arenas -- third in scoring, at 29.1 points a game -- to keep things chill and end the streak.)
It's not "mellow-as-Michael McDonald." It's "annoying-as-Michael McDonald." And the strange free throw stylings of Gilbert Arenas make us smile. Every time, man. Every single time.
We're not saying what happened on Saturday night wasn't ugly or embarrassing -- but it wasn't scary.
We have no idea where this Kelly Dwyer grew up. Not a clue. But our gut is telling us (screaming, actually) that he is not exactly used to drive bys, thug-offs, or random beatings. Just a guess. All that we at Apt404 know for sure is that the 'Pent was scared shit-less watching the MSG court filled with massive, Kermit Washington-type professional ass kickers squaring off against one another. With coaches, security, police, and the odd fan out there, too. Not scary? Are you fucking kidding us? That wasn't scary?
And it wasn't indicative of anything more than a bunch of bratty kids, full of themselves, letting their false bravado get the best of them after the levels of accountability were lowered by the opposing coaches. Together, cats and kittens, let's turn off the cable TV and move on.
"Poser - noun. - a person who habitually pretends to be something he is not. sometimes spelled "poseur." show-off, exhibitionist. someone who deliberately behaves in such a way as to attract attention." -- from TheFreeDictionary.com.
===============================
We'll leave FireMikeCelizic.blogspot.com to the real heroes, across the avenue at FireJoeMorgan.blogspot.com. They the shit.
posted by joe sweeney at 11:11 AM
1 Comments:
Well, since you won't let us email you, here goes, FJM-style:
Sorry, Kelly, but anytime UNC guys get to kick the shit out of the truly amazing Isiah, then we're interested. Karl was probably pretty happy that the Nuggets were up 20 with less than two minutes to play (who wouldn't be?). And Isiah was not, which is what led to the brawl, most likely.
I wasn't arguing against this, and not saying it wasn't fun to watch, but the whole mess seems kind of yawn-inducing after that. Interesting for one night, tops. Then again, I'm not swayed by shiny things.
If we ever hear the trite, tired expression "overhyped (and) overpaid athletes" from you or anyone else ever again, we're gonna go Gibson on somebody's ass. Get out a fucking thesaurus, Mr. Dwyer. You're employed by Sports Illustrated. OK, the online version. But still, you work at SI(.com). The most important and most influential mag about the games we love that there has ever been. Get with the program, or Robert Creamer is gonna' kick your ass!
Truly hilarious. Anyway, I reckon you get tired of words like "the" and "at," as well, righto? If they're ceaselessly overhyped, and quite overpaid, then what's the hang-up? "Overhyped" and "overpaid" is one notch over from "tall" and "wearing shorts." And heading to thesaurus.com to gleam some new definitions is just the absolute height of pretension. No thanks.
Just. What. In. The. Heck. Are. You. Talking about, Mr. Professional Interviewer and Writer Abouter of said "classless ingrates?" Johnny Paycheck wouldn't take that shit, but you, you DO.
Stop. Writing. Like. This. Nobody. Has. Ever. Liked. Anyone. Who Writes. Like. This. See? And. If. You. Take. "Classless." "Ingrates." As. Anything. More. Than. Tongue. In. Cheek. Than. You. Are. A. Moron. Isn't. This. Painful.
"Yeesh?" Yeesh? Did ya hafta use spellcheck on that crap, Kelly? And you are dead wrong about baseball brawls not being a big deal, especially with all the 'roids and such. No more Starvin' Marvins out there. Now, we got some Big Macs and Big Units and Big Hurts ready to tear each others heads off, though the greenies and such have been tapered off supposedly. At least not put out as a pre game snack. Which means that Lenny Dykstra would probably play and fight more like "paper clip" than "Nails" if he were still around.
"Yeesh" was filed as "geesh," can you believe that? I guess "geesh" isn't in our style guide, but "yeesh" is. Crazy world -- am I right, or am I right! Hoy hoy! And baseball brawls aren't a big deal. They're a chance for a bored group of MLB watchers to enjoy a little bit of "let's watch the rednecks tussle."
Who said they were all thugs? Did you say they were thugs? Who called them all thugs? Must have been Old School Media such as yourself, Kelly. And Etan Thomas, simply because he has cornrows probably doesn't claim to be any fucking "thug." Have you ever read his poetry? Do you know anything about Etan Thomas and what he does off the court? He's supposed to be pretty damn cool, from what we read in the..... Well, from what folks say, anyway. Yet since he wears 'rows, you assume the dude takes a gangsta' pose. Well, he doesn't. Wake the fuck up.
Yeah, I'm "old school media." Like Andrei Kirilenko's haircut. I don't think I've ever called anyone a thug in my life, not even the guy that stole my backpack with my headphones in it up at Lawrence and Sacramento. Who claimed Etan Thomas a thug? He's a bad poet, good rebounder, little else. Did you really think I was calling Thomas (or Mike Miller, for that matter?) a thug? Are you made of stupid parts?
It's not "mellow-as-Michael McDonald." It's "annoying-as-Michael McDonald." And the strange free throw stylings of Gilbert Arenas make us smile. Every time, man. Every single time.
I was wrong on this. It should read, "the awesome-as-fuck-Michael McDonald."
We have no idea where this Kelly Dwyer grew up. Not a clue. But our gut is telling us (screaming, actually) that he is not exactly used to drive bys, thug-offs, or random beatings. Just a guess. All that we at Apt404 know for sure is that the 'Pent was scared shit-less watching the MSG court filled with massive, Kermit Washington-type professional ass kickers squaring off against one another. With coaches, security, police, and the odd fan out there, too. Not scary? Are you fucking kidding us? That wasn't scary?
Watched the game, too. Not really. "Kermit Washington-type professional ass kickers," wow. You really think all ten of those guys are 6-9, 260, throwing face-crushing blows? Somebody throws a bunch, and they either game 50 pounds, or grow nine inches, and they turn into "professional ass-kickers?" That's pretty telling. That's REALLY TELLING. Sorry it scared you.
Poser - noun. - a person who habitually pretends to be something he is not. sometimes spelled "poseur." show-off, exhibitionist. someone who deliberately behaves in such a way as to attract attention.
Yes, pay attention to me and what I say: there was a stupid fight during a basketball game last Saturday, nobody was hurt and the whole thing was sort of an embarrassing mess of folks who really aren't good at fighting; but who do have lovely taste in sweater vests. Now that we've acknowledged this, move on.
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