This Dog Kinda Smells Funky: "Marley and Me"
Walking out of the theater after about thirty awful minutes of the new comedy "Marley and Me" I was struck by how nice the weather was today here in Portland. A lot sunnier than in the Southern Florida featured on the screen, where large dogs create mayhem due to bad owners, and actors pushing forty pretend to be ten years younger.
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My thought while walking in was "How could this one miss?", featuring two of the most likable and bankable actors in the world in Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston along with an adorable puppy as featured in the ubiquitous ads that you could hardly miss in the past month on television. This flick was a slam dunk: sure to be a light, breezy, escape into puppies and loving matrimony.
Not being familiar with the book on which this tepid affair was based, I didn't realize I was in for a bait-and-switch. The cute-as-a-button puppy soon grew into an 85 pound, out of control, dog from hell that no owner in their right mind would put up with for very long. The larger, adult dog was, I believe, purposely left out of the advertisements because everybody loves cute puppies, while not too many folks enjoy dogs that eat their way through an entire garage, as Marley did in one of his early adventures of destruction. That's not a dog worth owning, let alone having a two hour movie devoted to.
"Marley and Me", at least what I saw of it, had absolutely no laughs. Owen Wilson's stammering, stuttering, nice-guy-in-over- his-head routine has gotten tired in the last few years. I don't know if he can't act and simply fooled me in his many winning roles, beginning with the classic "Bottle Rocket" of about a decade ago. The man is too old to act like a spoiled child. His act, for me anyway, has gotten tired.
And the same can be said for Ms. Aniston, who is approaching forty and still trying to be the girlfriend for every name actor out there. Where does she see her career in ten years? Me, I see nothing but diminishing opportunities for everybody's favorite actor from that show that used to be on forever, forever ago. She is, just like Wilson, too damn old for roles like this.
But the worst part of the the film, from what I could see before I walked out in disgust and bewilderment, was the script. Written by some guys with big reputations for long ago films, there just wasn't anything there. No laughs, no insights, no charm. Just a bad dog acting bad and two aging actors trying to act cute, kissing each every chance they got to show the bored audience how in love they were. Spare me.
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Having read some reviews following my walkout (I try not to go in with preconceived notions so I usually don't read any before watching), I know now that I was in for some attempts at emotional manipulation in the one and a half hours I missed. Too bad for me? Not really. If all three charactors are unlikable and unbelievable, how can one care about what happens to them?
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Once again, as with "Australia", "Sex and the City", and "Twilight", I am glad that this is just a "for fun" blog, and when I write about a bad movie I don't have to have seen the whole enchilada to give it a thumbs down.
A big thumbs down in this case. Bad dog.
--------------------
My thought while walking in was "How could this one miss?", featuring two of the most likable and bankable actors in the world in Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston along with an adorable puppy as featured in the ubiquitous ads that you could hardly miss in the past month on television. This flick was a slam dunk: sure to be a light, breezy, escape into puppies and loving matrimony.
Not being familiar with the book on which this tepid affair was based, I didn't realize I was in for a bait-and-switch. The cute-as-a-button puppy soon grew into an 85 pound, out of control, dog from hell that no owner in their right mind would put up with for very long. The larger, adult dog was, I believe, purposely left out of the advertisements because everybody loves cute puppies, while not too many folks enjoy dogs that eat their way through an entire garage, as Marley did in one of his early adventures of destruction. That's not a dog worth owning, let alone having a two hour movie devoted to.
"Marley and Me", at least what I saw of it, had absolutely no laughs. Owen Wilson's stammering, stuttering, nice-guy-in-over- his-head routine has gotten tired in the last few years. I don't know if he can't act and simply fooled me in his many winning roles, beginning with the classic "Bottle Rocket" of about a decade ago. The man is too old to act like a spoiled child. His act, for me anyway, has gotten tired.
And the same can be said for Ms. Aniston, who is approaching forty and still trying to be the girlfriend for every name actor out there. Where does she see her career in ten years? Me, I see nothing but diminishing opportunities for everybody's favorite actor from that show that used to be on forever, forever ago. She is, just like Wilson, too damn old for roles like this.
But the worst part of the the film, from what I could see before I walked out in disgust and bewilderment, was the script. Written by some guys with big reputations for long ago films, there just wasn't anything there. No laughs, no insights, no charm. Just a bad dog acting bad and two aging actors trying to act cute, kissing each every chance they got to show the bored audience how in love they were. Spare me.
----------------------
Having read some reviews following my walkout (I try not to go in with preconceived notions so I usually don't read any before watching), I know now that I was in for some attempts at emotional manipulation in the one and a half hours I missed. Too bad for me? Not really. If all three charactors are unlikable and unbelievable, how can one care about what happens to them?
----------------------
Once again, as with "Australia", "Sex and the City", and "Twilight", I am glad that this is just a "for fun" blog, and when I write about a bad movie I don't have to have seen the whole enchilada to give it a thumbs down.
A big thumbs down in this case. Bad dog.
posted by joe sweeney at 7:45 PM
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