Rethink Fitness
The 'Pent staff have been spending a lot of their down time in the gym for the last two years now, and we've asked around the office for advice those staffers would give fellow fatties trying to tone up. Here goes:
--- Women should do a TON of squats.
There's nothing sexier than a woman with a toned and tight lower body and behind. It's really hot. It seems that a lot of gals think they'll bulk up too much if they lift "heavy" weights, but that is untrue. Almost no one in the gym has to worry about being too muscular. Instead, we would advise all women, of any age, to get on the Smith or Hack Squat machine and do two hard sets of squats. It really pays off.
--- Traps are underdeveloped on most men.
You work your traps by doing shrugs and upright rows. Anyone with a thick neck and trapezius muscles looks badass. End of story.
--- Don't even bother working arms for the first six months to a year.
If you're like us and carrying too much weight, it's impossible to get developed arms. It just won't happen. The only way to do it is get that body fat percentage down (the staff in Apartment 404 still has a long ways to go). In addition, every time a person grasps a dumbbell or barbell they work their forearms, biceps and triceps. For that reason I would tell all but the most seasoned fitness enthusiasts to not even bother with curls and tricep work. It's a waste of time.
--- Work hard for brief periods of time.
Our staff saw a guy this morning do a set on a weight machine, get off, walk away, and let out a big yawn. It was noon. If you're wasting your time at the gym, we guess that's your business, but man, there's better things to do. We here at The 'Pent actually like working hard at World Gym, so we can't imagine being so bored that we'd yawn during a workout. Thas whack. And 15 to 20 minutes of weights (about 8 sets) is fine for most people a couple of times a week, as long as the effort is there.
--- Our favorite lifting exercises:
1) Farmer's Walk -- This is awesome for every single muscle in the body. Just grab a dumbbell in either hand and walk around for 30 seconds. Make sure you're working hard and that by the time you're done with your walk you can barely walk another step. It'll pay off.
2) Upright Row -- Whether on barbell, dumbbells, or cables, this is a great exercise for the entire upper body. We get a kick out of the Bench Press Club at our gym: guys with massive chests, tiny little legs, and nothing else doing ten sets of bench. Sure' they're a lot stronger than we are, but can they touch their toes? What do they look like?
3) Dumbbell Shrugs -- This one is hard because you need to do a full range of motion for it to be effective. Start by trying to touch your shoulders to your ears, then lowering the dumbbells as low as you can, so that you can't lower them any more without bending over. This is one great exercise for all upper body muscles.
--- Cardio for Everyone
We can't stand it either. We all have flat feet, so running makes us sore, but cardio is key for everyone. Half an hour is fine a couple of times a week.
That's it for the advice. Shit, we hate giving advice. We'd rather give an opinion than pretend we know what we're talking about. About anything.
--- Women should do a TON of squats.
There's nothing sexier than a woman with a toned and tight lower body and behind. It's really hot. It seems that a lot of gals think they'll bulk up too much if they lift "heavy" weights, but that is untrue. Almost no one in the gym has to worry about being too muscular. Instead, we would advise all women, of any age, to get on the Smith or Hack Squat machine and do two hard sets of squats. It really pays off.
--- Traps are underdeveloped on most men.
You work your traps by doing shrugs and upright rows. Anyone with a thick neck and trapezius muscles looks badass. End of story.
--- Don't even bother working arms for the first six months to a year.
If you're like us and carrying too much weight, it's impossible to get developed arms. It just won't happen. The only way to do it is get that body fat percentage down (the staff in Apartment 404 still has a long ways to go). In addition, every time a person grasps a dumbbell or barbell they work their forearms, biceps and triceps. For that reason I would tell all but the most seasoned fitness enthusiasts to not even bother with curls and tricep work. It's a waste of time.
--- Work hard for brief periods of time.
Our staff saw a guy this morning do a set on a weight machine, get off, walk away, and let out a big yawn. It was noon. If you're wasting your time at the gym, we guess that's your business, but man, there's better things to do. We here at The 'Pent actually like working hard at World Gym, so we can't imagine being so bored that we'd yawn during a workout. Thas whack. And 15 to 20 minutes of weights (about 8 sets) is fine for most people a couple of times a week, as long as the effort is there.
--- Our favorite lifting exercises:
1) Farmer's Walk -- This is awesome for every single muscle in the body. Just grab a dumbbell in either hand and walk around for 30 seconds. Make sure you're working hard and that by the time you're done with your walk you can barely walk another step. It'll pay off.
2) Upright Row -- Whether on barbell, dumbbells, or cables, this is a great exercise for the entire upper body. We get a kick out of the Bench Press Club at our gym: guys with massive chests, tiny little legs, and nothing else doing ten sets of bench. Sure' they're a lot stronger than we are, but can they touch their toes? What do they look like?
3) Dumbbell Shrugs -- This one is hard because you need to do a full range of motion for it to be effective. Start by trying to touch your shoulders to your ears, then lowering the dumbbells as low as you can, so that you can't lower them any more without bending over. This is one great exercise for all upper body muscles.
--- Cardio for Everyone
We can't stand it either. We all have flat feet, so running makes us sore, but cardio is key for everyone. Half an hour is fine a couple of times a week.
That's it for the advice. Shit, we hate giving advice. We'd rather give an opinion than pretend we know what we're talking about. About anything.
posted by joe sweeney at 4:59 PM
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