Thank You

Many years ago I spanked a young man in my care, while on a job, for acting up and out at me.
And was rightfully fired for it.
Ever since I have been distrusting of certain folks, the type I used to want to work with when I couldn't find another job.
These people largely need certain types of special care but,
Truly, are as different from each other
As you and I are,
Which I try to remember
But most times fail to.

Three weeks back I was in a Coffee By Design (drinking my usual Diet Coke) when a man loudly came in to the store.
He was nonverbal, grunting, and to my eyes, scary and offputting, as he shuffled into his place in line.
I couldn't look at him directly.
His presence in the store disrupted my routines completely, and I felt that old shame, related to
Not being able to handle an awkward situation better,
Like the compassionate man I had always strove to be would have.
The customer somehow got his coffee, left, and jumped back in the passenger's side of the moving van he had arrived in.
My ordeal was over, seemingly.
But the self hatred remained.

Today, at the supermarket, I noticed a middle aged man who has been bagging groceries and corralling carraiges at my local store for the entire six years I've been a customer there.
He is friendly and funny, wise and cheerful, and happy, I'm sure to be out and working. He has given me more good moments than he'll ever know, as he bags my goodies in an efficient and delightfully joyous method that makes me think, "His is a good life. A life more than worth living, but a life worth celebrating."

I do not know his name, but every time I see his face at the store I know I am in good hands.