Can I Give Back?

Four years ago I was sicker than I've ever been
Tasered, handcuffed, jailed
Taken by the Portsmouth police to the N. H. State Mental Hospital in Concord for a month

I deserved to be there
So sick I thought the military wanted to both
Assassinate me and make me their leader
(Different factions within had different plans
For me)

Through trauma came recovery
Via reflection, readings, meetings, psychiatrists, therapists, friends, and family, exercise
It was all incredibly hard work
And remains so

The pain caused by going through, not around,
Continues to pay off

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Four years later, can I give back to those that need?
Can I help those drunks and lunatics
I will always be?

Knowing there is a part of me in all of them that I see
Struggling with sanity
And the booze
(No drugs for me)

Their pain and confusion is real
Because
In certitude lies madness
Always
And what I heard in meetings rings truer than ever:
"The more I know the less I know"
Which lets me know I have no answers
Only compassion and love