Our New Fall Lineup
The blogging game is going nowhere, so we here in/at/of The 'Pent have decided to start our own television network. Apartment404.tv.com is where you'll find it, starting Saturday the 24th. Here's our lineup:
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2-5pm EST - "The Injury Show" -- Hosted by the wonderful, beautiful and sweet Jenn Brown, this show will have, in slow motion instant replay, the greatest injuries in the history of televised sports. We'll show every broken bone (LT on Joe Theismann), every ghastly knee (Willis McGahee of The U against Ohio State), every concussion (Troy Aikman and Joe Montana by the Giants), every stretched and torn ligament (Robert Edwards of the Pats out in Hawaii), every broken tooth/teeth (Bobby Clarke), and every one of the shots will be in EXCITING 3-D! Jenn will interview the injured years later to get their impressions of the pain, blood, and rehab. "How'd it feel when that bone was sticking out of your leg? (Sam Bowie)" This is a brilliant idea. I think it'd play.
5-5:30 - "The Keys to a Successful Marraige" -- Love advice from Your Favorite Hollywood Celebrities. Kind of like Robin Leach's "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous", with insights into those awesome and long lasting LA marraiges. Advice? Marry for business, sex for procreation, no hugging, no learning.
5:30-6:00pm - "All in the Family" Reruns -- Hey, man. It's my network. Carroll O'Connor was mid 40s when the show, a remake of an English comedy, started. The same age as I am now. I think he might have been a bit of a smoker and drinker. Great television, though sometimes Jean Stapleton's Edith makes me sad. Then Archie says something brilliant and I'm theirs again.
6-7pm - SportsCenter with Hannah Storm and Dan Patrick -- What'd I just say?
7-10pm - Whatever Boston team is playing Broadcast by Sean McDonough and Jerry Remy. These guys make me laugh. They're just a couple of fun, funny dudes. McDonough could broadcast The Golden Globes and make it fun. Tom Larson would be in studio.
10-11pm - "Sober LA" Live broadcast from twelve step meetings in the City of Angels. Tell me you wouldn't watch that. Lots of "sobriety" in Fakerland. Yeah, right.
11-11:35pm - "Local News" -- This is when I pee, take a shower, and brush my teeth. Lots of car crashes and all the injuries we missed on "The Injury Show." Eight minutes of weather (and they still don't know).
11:35pm-12:35am - "The Late Show With David Letterman" -- What? You thought I'd say "Nightline?"
12:35-4am - "Music Videos -- Music videos on demand. Britney, Bruce, Graham Parker, Fine Young Cannibals, Aimee Mann, Tony Bennett, etc.
4 - 5am - "Test Pattern" -- To see if it really would get ratings.
5-5:05am - "The Star Spangled Banner" by Whitney -- Every damn day.
5:05-7am - "Local News Wakeup Call" -- This is when I wake up, take care of business/shower/take meds/etc. Who watches the local news?
7-10am - "Sportscenter with Steve Levy and Sage Steele live from LA" -- Rise and shine, guys.
10-11am - "The Today Show with Hoda and Kathie Lee" -- Awesome TV.
11am-noon - "The View With Elisabeth Hasselbeck" -- More awesome TV.
noon-2pm - "Reading Time With Apt404" -- I read. On TV? Yes. On TV.
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2-5pm EST - "The Injury Show" -- Hosted by the wonderful, beautiful and sweet Jenn Brown, this show will have, in slow motion instant replay, the greatest injuries in the history of televised sports. We'll show every broken bone (LT on Joe Theismann), every ghastly knee (Willis McGahee of The U against Ohio State), every concussion (Troy Aikman and Joe Montana by the Giants), every stretched and torn ligament (Robert Edwards of the Pats out in Hawaii), every broken tooth/teeth (Bobby Clarke), and every one of the shots will be in EXCITING 3-D! Jenn will interview the injured years later to get their impressions of the pain, blood, and rehab. "How'd it feel when that bone was sticking out of your leg? (Sam Bowie)" This is a brilliant idea. I think it'd play.
5-5:30 - "The Keys to a Successful Marraige" -- Love advice from Your Favorite Hollywood Celebrities. Kind of like Robin Leach's "Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous", with insights into those awesome and long lasting LA marraiges. Advice? Marry for business, sex for procreation, no hugging, no learning.
5:30-6:00pm - "All in the Family" Reruns -- Hey, man. It's my network. Carroll O'Connor was mid 40s when the show, a remake of an English comedy, started. The same age as I am now. I think he might have been a bit of a smoker and drinker. Great television, though sometimes Jean Stapleton's Edith makes me sad. Then Archie says something brilliant and I'm theirs again.
6-7pm - SportsCenter with Hannah Storm and Dan Patrick -- What'd I just say?
7-10pm - Whatever Boston team is playing Broadcast by Sean McDonough and Jerry Remy. These guys make me laugh. They're just a couple of fun, funny dudes. McDonough could broadcast The Golden Globes and make it fun. Tom Larson would be in studio.
10-11pm - "Sober LA" Live broadcast from twelve step meetings in the City of Angels. Tell me you wouldn't watch that. Lots of "sobriety" in Fakerland. Yeah, right.
11-11:35pm - "Local News" -- This is when I pee, take a shower, and brush my teeth. Lots of car crashes and all the injuries we missed on "The Injury Show." Eight minutes of weather (and they still don't know).
11:35pm-12:35am - "The Late Show With David Letterman" -- What? You thought I'd say "Nightline?"
12:35-4am - "Music Videos -- Music videos on demand. Britney, Bruce, Graham Parker, Fine Young Cannibals, Aimee Mann, Tony Bennett, etc.
4 - 5am - "Test Pattern" -- To see if it really would get ratings.
5-5:05am - "The Star Spangled Banner" by Whitney -- Every damn day.
5:05-7am - "Local News Wakeup Call" -- This is when I wake up, take care of business/shower/take meds/etc. Who watches the local news?
7-10am - "Sportscenter with Steve Levy and Sage Steele live from LA" -- Rise and shine, guys.
10-11am - "The Today Show with Hoda and Kathie Lee" -- Awesome TV.
11am-noon - "The View With Elisabeth Hasselbeck" -- More awesome TV.
noon-2pm - "Reading Time With Apt404" -- I read. On TV? Yes. On TV.
posted by joe sweeney at 10:23 AM
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