The Biggest Loser Has Ideas

The Biggest Winner -- Eat, Eat, You're Skin and Bones!

He who gains the most pounds in an 8 week period wins liposuction to remove it

Contestants: John Goodman (too skinny now at 320 lbs), Anna Kournikova (competitor!), DeNiro (he did it before, he can do it again), Alison Sweeney (whatcha got, sister?), Antone Davis (finally, something he's good at)


Bowel Movement -- The Biggest Loser

Urine -- The Biggest Loser

Birth -- The Biggest Loser

Haircut -- The Biggest Loser

Removable Limbs -- The Biggest Loser -- Open only to Iraq and Afghanistan dudes and ladies. No Civil War vets allowed

The Biggest Winner -- Clerk -- Whomever cheats the customers out of the most money wins! Anything goes

Vomit -- The Biggest Loser

Sweat -- The Biggest Loser

um....that's enough

no....wait

Period -- The Biggest Loser

Yeah. That's enough