Psychiatrist Jokes
Two psychiatrists walk into a bar. Everyone else immediately leaves.
Did you hear the one about the happily married psychiatrists? I didn't either.
Or the one about the psychiatrist who went out of business by telling his patients, "I got nothing. I really got nothing to offer ya. Just be kind to one another." I didn't.
Two psychiatrists walk into a bar and prescribed antidepressants for 8 of the patrons. The patrons soon afterwards are arrested in the local Motel 6, pantsless, for assaulting some big ass police officers and playing Chaka Kahn too damn loud. Found in their rooms? Corona. Lots and lots of Corona. And empty antidepressant pill caddies. The psychiatrists are barrred from the bar. The 8 drunks return to drinking and happiness ensues. All is well. All is well.
Did you hear the joke about the University of Notre Dame football program? They had to hire a drunken Irishman from Boston to clean up the program and the whiny secretaries. Names Brian Kelly. Might just win a national title sometime soon. (Where's the punchline, Mr. Sweeney?)
Did you hear the one about the psychiatrist who completed his internship, only to discover that his tools (the psych drugs that are the standard of care in this country) are useless against just about anything but sleep, quit the profession, and opened a medical marijuana dispensary in Portland instead? No, that's not one I've heard either, sadly.
On "Seinfeld" the shrink that dates JLD character is really, really good looking. Ever see a good looking psychiatrist? Me neither. They all have nose and ear hair, goggles for glasses, or walk with a pronounced limp due to arthritic joints.
Who are the greatest psychiatrists of our time? The Beatles.
Did you hear the one about the happily married psychiatrists? I didn't either.
Or the one about the psychiatrist who went out of business by telling his patients, "I got nothing. I really got nothing to offer ya. Just be kind to one another." I didn't.
Two psychiatrists walk into a bar and prescribed antidepressants for 8 of the patrons. The patrons soon afterwards are arrested in the local Motel 6, pantsless, for assaulting some big ass police officers and playing Chaka Kahn too damn loud. Found in their rooms? Corona. Lots and lots of Corona. And empty antidepressant pill caddies. The psychiatrists are barrred from the bar. The 8 drunks return to drinking and happiness ensues. All is well. All is well.
Did you hear the joke about the University of Notre Dame football program? They had to hire a drunken Irishman from Boston to clean up the program and the whiny secretaries. Names Brian Kelly. Might just win a national title sometime soon. (Where's the punchline, Mr. Sweeney?)
Did you hear the one about the psychiatrist who completed his internship, only to discover that his tools (the psych drugs that are the standard of care in this country) are useless against just about anything but sleep, quit the profession, and opened a medical marijuana dispensary in Portland instead? No, that's not one I've heard either, sadly.
On "Seinfeld" the shrink that dates JLD character is really, really good looking. Ever see a good looking psychiatrist? Me neither. They all have nose and ear hair, goggles for glasses, or walk with a pronounced limp due to arthritic joints.
Who are the greatest psychiatrists of our time? The Beatles.
posted by joe sweeney at 5:20 AM
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