Saturday, November 03, 2012

Why God?

I know you love me because you created me
But why do you let me feel this much pain?
Why God?
I am in so much pain 99% of the day
Do you know what it's like to feel so scared your breath is taken away?
How do you know my whole life yet let me feel so much pain?  Why?
Why do I like pretty girls so much?
Why am I so kind?
How did you know I would be so nice when you invented me?
Thank you for not allowing WWII to happen.
The Nazis didn't really kill off almost all the Jews,
Which means that most humans aren't inherently cruel.
Do people really kill each other?
I don't have that urge.
I want to talk to interesting people.  When will you send me one?
I am so alone without Brit.
If you can invent me you can invent her.
Why were my first 45.5 years so real and the last week so unreal?
Do you know what it's like to touch something and know it's not real?
How did eyesight develop?
How did touch develop?
Darwinism, survival of the fittest
Man is inherently kind.
We didn't really kill off the Indians, did we?
How did man survive before housing and heat?
The indians made it through the winter in teepees?  Come on.  Impossible.
Eskimos?    No such thing.
There is no comfortable place to live in the US weatherwise except Northern California.
The rest either get too hot or cold.
How does early man survive a winter?  Impossible.  How do animals survive in freezing temperatures? Impossible.   That means that deer don't exist.
How is the Earth sustaining life when there is so much resistance to it, like hunger and warmth and pure non salt water?
I love you
I love you, too
Thank you for inventing me
Man is kind.  These people I meet every day are not human, thankfully.
You are teaching me about ugliness in order to show me beauty, I hope.
Steven King's house?
Walker's Point?
McAuley High School?
Where do all the rich people in Cape Elizabeth live?  I've never seen a nice house there.
The Old Port does not exist.
How does anyone hold a job and report to a boss?  I get fired a lot for asking questions.
I am so kind it makes me want to cry.
I want to see a good movie but know I have to wait until you are done with me
There was so much good tv for so long and now it is so awful.  IQs don't change and not everyone is on drugs, so who is watching these shows?
How long does it take to invest a universe?  For you, maybe a second, I suppose.  But if you were that powerful you would not let me be in so much pain, right?
I love you but I don't like you right now.
I wish I could have talked to Sylvie.
People don't go insane, do they?  They only feel stress or love.
There are basically no retarded humans, right?
Visiting the Westbroook Animal Shelter broke my heart, but I know that if there ever was a Rudy the cat she is now well taken care of.  She was beautiful, kind, sweet and fun.  Please take good care of her.  If you can program a Rudy why do you hurt me so?
I'm running out of things to do in Portland, have basically no money, and can't move.  Please hurry with whatever it is you're doing with me and let me feel love and sex and kissing and holding hands and competition and love and friendship
I am glad I understand why I've only had two friends in my life, Greg and Chris.  Because I was made too kind for this particular Earth.
Humanity couldn't be invented.  Pain couldn't be invented.  They exist in some construct.  A machine doesn't feel pain.  It never gets tired or hungry. What is it in oil that powers cars and trucks?  Explosions?  Like little black holes?  The universe is a scary place.
My universe is expanding right now, which means the sun will die out, which means the Earth will die out, which means .....  I cannot die from lack of oxygen if I don't breath oxygen, but where would I live in the universe if the Earth ceases to exist?  Considering the makeup of gravity depends on angles and distances from the sun, moon and stars.
You must know what love is.  It couldn't be programmmed.  I know that for now I will not be allowed to love any woman.  Your call.  I need your help.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home