"So this father says to his daughter, 'Honey, If I could marry you, I would!'" - Tim Russert to Letterman, 6/13
This after a bad breakup by the daughter and her boyfriend. Is my mind always in the gutter, or are fathers who say ickey things like this to their daughters kind of, well, not so fatherly?: I mean, I may be "Mr. Worst Case Scenario", but I've always thought that fathers who utter stuff like this are pushing a boundary line that should be left alone. We all have wierd Freudian things going on, but having a Dad say he wants to marry his own daughter ain't right, if you ask me.
Russert, as he does every Father's Day, is pushing a book on, yes, fathers being fatherly. Last time, it was strictly about lessons his Dad had taught him. But this one is marketed to include "daughters" as well as "sons" and their relationships with Dad; an oh-so clever marketing gimmick by either Russert or his genius publisher. Kinda like the guy who doubled sales of shampoo decades ago by including the word "Repeat" under the term "Wash Hair". American ingenuity at its finest. "Hey Tim....great book...but we missed about 50% of the market for people who buy stuff like this on holidays...next time, put some broads in there somewhere....."
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Ann Coulter: love her or hate her, her little black dress is getting plenty of airtime. Does she own any other type of clothing besides this lbd ("little black dress")? Every single picture I've ever seen of her, it seems like she is wearing this thing. Is this like the Seinfeld episode where Jerry dated a woman who only seemed to wear one outfit, which puzzled him so horribly that he broke into her closet and discovered dozens of the EXACT SAME dress?
She is certainly a thin blonde woman. If that makes her attractive to some, then so be it. I can see how someone hung up on thinness (and lbds) would have a sorta thing for her. But I see only her eyes, which are the eyes of someone who is aged beyond her years...and who maybe doesn't believe any/all of the s--t she is spewing. Coulter is without a doubt very bright: Law Review at U. of Michigan Law School and so forth. But her rantings are so mean spirited as to be breathtaking. She has been compared to Micheal Moore in terms of her comments: so how far over the line of decency do they both go?
Moore does take a lot of shots, some of them cheap, at his targets in the US. For example, in "Fahrenheit 911" the last five minutes or so of his ambush interview with Charlton Heston (who, despite what some may claim, was clearheaded and coherent: the fog of his disease, to my eyes, had not begun to take hold) should have been cut. Having him yell at the retreating actor about feelings of guilt and so forth were just not necessary. His point had been made: mainly that Heston played the "race" card in an attempt to decipher why the US had so many murders, and looked foolish in doing so.
Is Moore as mean spirited as Coulter? I don't think so, although he certainly can be a bit nasty. Does he say awful things that can't be defended? Sometimes: during the election runup in 2004, Moore began referring to President Bush as a "draft dodger". This was and is a serious but unsubstantiated charge. Bush WAS a member of the National Guard. He certainly didn't have to dodge anything, as the Guard in those days was designed partly as a holding pen for offspring of the nation's bigshots who didn't want to serve in Vietnam and take a chance on getting killed. No draft dodging there.
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Knuckle Tattoos: Wise decision?
To me, when you make the decision to get tattoos on your eight knuckles, particularly homemade tats, you have pretty much made a life altering decision. You're saying to yourself "Screw the white collar world! F--k ever wearing a suit or dress to work! Forget ever obtaining any position where I have to deal with people who might be offended by having the phrase "F--K Y-U!" or "L-O-V-E H-A-T-E" or whatever clever 8 number/letter sequence you thought of jammed repeatedly in their faces!"
"Series 7, CPA and Bar Exams: even if I polish off all of these, no one in their right mind is going to have me work for them, so just f--k it!"
What may have seemed a good idea during a drunken weekend spent partying your friggin ass off ("Let's Rock and Roll, mf's!!!) will be with you a long time. So think long and hard about inking those eight numbers or letters permanent-like on your knuckles: I mean really, if no one has ever created a vanity plate that was funny or interesting for more than about a week, do you think you can do it with your knuckles?
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The Red Sox: Is it possible that Al Nipper is an even worse Pitching Coach than Pitcher?
After looking up his stats at BaseballReference.com, I was a bit surprised that Nipper's numbers were as not-terrible as they were. His record was 47-50 and his ERA was a respectable (pre steroid era, of course) 4.52. So he wasn't exactly horrible. I had thought he was a member of the Sox when Clemens went through his gradual decline in the early to mid 90s, but that is not the case: Nipper was gone in 1987. They were supposedly buddies, and I had him pegged as Clemens Rick Robey, but that was my mind playing tricks on me (Damn you, mind!).
As far as his coaching? Well...don't get me wrong, I know he is trying his behind off. When I watch the games, I see Nip with his bifocals, his charts, his pitch counter, etc, next to Francona. He LOOKS like a real pitching coach should look. It appears he is watching the game with the utmost intensity. But the proof is in da pudding, as they say. The Sox pitching outside of Schilling and Papelbon (and Timlin hopefully when healthy) is atrocious. Tavarez and Seanez simply can't be put into a close game. No way, no how.
There is widespread talk that Beckett is tipping his pitches, leading to his recent spate of shellings. His velocity is the same as it has been, so maybe there is truth to this. And if so WTF are the Red Sox gonna do about it? They are supposed to be among the brightest organizations in the game, so it shouldn't be such a major hurdle to get the Big Guy to keep his hands in the same position for each pitch, should it? Am I wrong?
And where is Craig Hansen? Two years ago, I had the chance to see him and Papelbon pitch up here in Portland. Papelbon started and pitched well; it was obvious he had terrific major league potential. But Hansen was unhittable, throwing in the upper 90s. You almost felt sorry for the other team's batters. AA hitters had no shot against Hansen; he didn't give up a run in his stint in Portland. Today, Papelbon, who is three years older than Hansen, is the hottest reliever in the game and Hansen is pitching well in AAA. He walks a few too many, but the guy has electric stuff. I can't imagine any scenario where Tavarez and Seanez are ahead of Hansen on the bullpen depth chart. The two veterans were signed to decent contracts in the offseason, but that is sunk money. The Sox have to pay them whether they pitch 60 innings or get released. So why not give Hansen the chance, and either release Julian and Rudy or stuff them back to the back of the pen. There are certain players on every team in MLB that can be said "the more they play/pitch, the worse this team will do." Of the position players, it is clear that Willie Harris and even starting shortstop Alex Gonzalez are in this category (please, Dustin, get healthy quick!). And pitchers DiNardo, Tavarez, and Seanez are there, too.
This is a team that has a legitimate shot at winning another WS. Let's hope that Theo has another Dave Roberts up his sleeve...maybe even three or four of them, God willing.
Russert, as he does every Father's Day, is pushing a book on, yes, fathers being fatherly. Last time, it was strictly about lessons his Dad had taught him. But this one is marketed to include "daughters" as well as "sons" and their relationships with Dad; an oh-so clever marketing gimmick by either Russert or his genius publisher. Kinda like the guy who doubled sales of shampoo decades ago by including the word "Repeat" under the term "Wash Hair". American ingenuity at its finest. "Hey Tim....great book...but we missed about 50% of the market for people who buy stuff like this on holidays...next time, put some broads in there somewhere....."
---------------------------------------------------------------
Ann Coulter: love her or hate her, her little black dress is getting plenty of airtime. Does she own any other type of clothing besides this lbd ("little black dress")? Every single picture I've ever seen of her, it seems like she is wearing this thing. Is this like the Seinfeld episode where Jerry dated a woman who only seemed to wear one outfit, which puzzled him so horribly that he broke into her closet and discovered dozens of the EXACT SAME dress?
She is certainly a thin blonde woman. If that makes her attractive to some, then so be it. I can see how someone hung up on thinness (and lbds) would have a sorta thing for her. But I see only her eyes, which are the eyes of someone who is aged beyond her years...and who maybe doesn't believe any/all of the s--t she is spewing. Coulter is without a doubt very bright: Law Review at U. of Michigan Law School and so forth. But her rantings are so mean spirited as to be breathtaking. She has been compared to Micheal Moore in terms of her comments: so how far over the line of decency do they both go?
Moore does take a lot of shots, some of them cheap, at his targets in the US. For example, in "Fahrenheit 911" the last five minutes or so of his ambush interview with Charlton Heston (who, despite what some may claim, was clearheaded and coherent: the fog of his disease, to my eyes, had not begun to take hold) should have been cut. Having him yell at the retreating actor about feelings of guilt and so forth were just not necessary. His point had been made: mainly that Heston played the "race" card in an attempt to decipher why the US had so many murders, and looked foolish in doing so.
Is Moore as mean spirited as Coulter? I don't think so, although he certainly can be a bit nasty. Does he say awful things that can't be defended? Sometimes: during the election runup in 2004, Moore began referring to President Bush as a "draft dodger". This was and is a serious but unsubstantiated charge. Bush WAS a member of the National Guard. He certainly didn't have to dodge anything, as the Guard in those days was designed partly as a holding pen for offspring of the nation's bigshots who didn't want to serve in Vietnam and take a chance on getting killed. No draft dodging there.
----------------------------------------------------------
Knuckle Tattoos: Wise decision?
To me, when you make the decision to get tattoos on your eight knuckles, particularly homemade tats, you have pretty much made a life altering decision. You're saying to yourself "Screw the white collar world! F--k ever wearing a suit or dress to work! Forget ever obtaining any position where I have to deal with people who might be offended by having the phrase "F--K Y-U!" or "L-O-V-E H-A-T-E" or whatever clever 8 number/letter sequence you thought of jammed repeatedly in their faces!"
"Series 7, CPA and Bar Exams: even if I polish off all of these, no one in their right mind is going to have me work for them, so just f--k it!"
What may have seemed a good idea during a drunken weekend spent partying your friggin ass off ("Let's Rock and Roll, mf's!!!) will be with you a long time. So think long and hard about inking those eight numbers or letters permanent-like on your knuckles: I mean really, if no one has ever created a vanity plate that was funny or interesting for more than about a week, do you think you can do it with your knuckles?
-----------------------------------------------
The Red Sox: Is it possible that Al Nipper is an even worse Pitching Coach than Pitcher?
After looking up his stats at BaseballReference.com, I was a bit surprised that Nipper's numbers were as not-terrible as they were. His record was 47-50 and his ERA was a respectable (pre steroid era, of course) 4.52. So he wasn't exactly horrible. I had thought he was a member of the Sox when Clemens went through his gradual decline in the early to mid 90s, but that is not the case: Nipper was gone in 1987. They were supposedly buddies, and I had him pegged as Clemens Rick Robey, but that was my mind playing tricks on me (Damn you, mind!).
As far as his coaching? Well...don't get me wrong, I know he is trying his behind off. When I watch the games, I see Nip with his bifocals, his charts, his pitch counter, etc, next to Francona. He LOOKS like a real pitching coach should look. It appears he is watching the game with the utmost intensity. But the proof is in da pudding, as they say. The Sox pitching outside of Schilling and Papelbon (and Timlin hopefully when healthy) is atrocious. Tavarez and Seanez simply can't be put into a close game. No way, no how.
There is widespread talk that Beckett is tipping his pitches, leading to his recent spate of shellings. His velocity is the same as it has been, so maybe there is truth to this. And if so WTF are the Red Sox gonna do about it? They are supposed to be among the brightest organizations in the game, so it shouldn't be such a major hurdle to get the Big Guy to keep his hands in the same position for each pitch, should it? Am I wrong?
And where is Craig Hansen? Two years ago, I had the chance to see him and Papelbon pitch up here in Portland. Papelbon started and pitched well; it was obvious he had terrific major league potential. But Hansen was unhittable, throwing in the upper 90s. You almost felt sorry for the other team's batters. AA hitters had no shot against Hansen; he didn't give up a run in his stint in Portland. Today, Papelbon, who is three years older than Hansen, is the hottest reliever in the game and Hansen is pitching well in AAA. He walks a few too many, but the guy has electric stuff. I can't imagine any scenario where Tavarez and Seanez are ahead of Hansen on the bullpen depth chart. The two veterans were signed to decent contracts in the offseason, but that is sunk money. The Sox have to pay them whether they pitch 60 innings or get released. So why not give Hansen the chance, and either release Julian and Rudy or stuff them back to the back of the pen. There are certain players on every team in MLB that can be said "the more they play/pitch, the worse this team will do." Of the position players, it is clear that Willie Harris and even starting shortstop Alex Gonzalez are in this category (please, Dustin, get healthy quick!). And pitchers DiNardo, Tavarez, and Seanez are there, too.
This is a team that has a legitimate shot at winning another WS. Let's hope that Theo has another Dave Roberts up his sleeve...maybe even three or four of them, God willing.
posted by joe sweeney at 7:05 PM
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