Being Don Rumsfeld: Thoughts on Pats in the form of a Rummy "Press Conference"
"Am I excited over the state of the Patriots? Yessiree. Could they have started the year any better? Not in my opinion. They're 2-0, 2-0 in the division while the Fish are 0-2, the team is just about completely healthy, the wins have come by relatively small margins, so no one will lose focus, and Denver comes in next Sunday night for a big game.
"Does Junior Seau look good in a New England uniform? You're goddamn right he does. Those eyes are burning bright, though the body may not be the same machine it once was.
"If Corey Dillon and the rookie Maroney are now 'The Twin Blades', where does that leave lifelong Pat Kevin Faulk? Not sure (really, who the hell needs three blades in their razor?), but Faulk, who appears to have gotten over the fumbling, will be key, just like Randy Cross said. No team in football has anywhere close to the three running backs the Pats feature. Hope the shoulder is well, Corey.
"Is Chad Jackson possibly the most important young player on the team? Yes, especially after Doug Gabriel's poor play (we give Al Davis Plunkett AND the great Mike Haynes, along with Don Hasselbeck, and he returns the favor with this guy?). Gabriel has a long way to go. A long way. But Jackson can possibly be this year's Terry Glenn. Remember, it was Glenn coming on strong as a rookie that allowed Bledsoe and Parcells to get to that Super Bowl against the Packers. Glenn was the key to the team a decade ago and me thinks that Jackson and his hammy are the key to this years. Every other group on the team, barring injury, is good to excellent, including the secondary now that Rodney Harrison is back. Hobbs and Samuel? Excellent corners. Linebackers? Set. Defensive line? Maybe the best in football if Wilfork learns to control his emotions. Offensive line? Very good. QB? None better. TEs and RB's? None better. It's the lack of wide receivers that is the major concern. Coaches can't control injuries (stop using that word you moron!! fucking jinx..) but they can control a lot of other stuff.
"Are Belicheck/Pioli the modern day equivalent of Red in his prime? I'd have to say Yes! Remember when Auerbach signed half the Knicks team to keep McHale in Green? The coolest, funniest moment of the entire sports year was BB filing that tampering charge against the Jets. Who cares if it works out into a fine or 6th rounder or whatever. It was designed to show the kid Mangini that his old boss plays for keeps. As Bill Maher said Friday night, 'The real patriot act is shitting your pants'. Well, how 'bout it, Eric? Is that what happened?
"Has any team since the early to mid 90's Cowboys had more Hall of Famers on its roster? Not a chance. Brady, Seymour, Harrison, and Seau are locks. And since the current squad is so young (yes, really, check the ages of everyone except the linebackers) there may be a bunch more, like Dillon (moderate chance), Light, Vrabel (very small chance but they won't ever be forgotten by Patriot fans) and the greatness that is Troy Brown. Did I imagine that stiff arm he put on the Jet DB yesterday? Did that really happen? Troy Brown, thy name is "Football Player".
"Now if there's no further questions I have to go stick pins in my Garry Trudeau doll for about a half hour. That is all."
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The Closet here at Apartment404 contains two replica jerseys: Yao Ming's. And number 54, Tedy Bruschi. HOF chances? Pretty damn good, if Harry Carson got in. Sometimes Apartment404's memory....not so good.
"Does Junior Seau look good in a New England uniform? You're goddamn right he does. Those eyes are burning bright, though the body may not be the same machine it once was.
"If Corey Dillon and the rookie Maroney are now 'The Twin Blades', where does that leave lifelong Pat Kevin Faulk? Not sure (really, who the hell needs three blades in their razor?), but Faulk, who appears to have gotten over the fumbling, will be key, just like Randy Cross said. No team in football has anywhere close to the three running backs the Pats feature. Hope the shoulder is well, Corey.
"Is Chad Jackson possibly the most important young player on the team? Yes, especially after Doug Gabriel's poor play (we give Al Davis Plunkett AND the great Mike Haynes, along with Don Hasselbeck, and he returns the favor with this guy?). Gabriel has a long way to go. A long way. But Jackson can possibly be this year's Terry Glenn. Remember, it was Glenn coming on strong as a rookie that allowed Bledsoe and Parcells to get to that Super Bowl against the Packers. Glenn was the key to the team a decade ago and me thinks that Jackson and his hammy are the key to this years. Every other group on the team, barring injury, is good to excellent, including the secondary now that Rodney Harrison is back. Hobbs and Samuel? Excellent corners. Linebackers? Set. Defensive line? Maybe the best in football if Wilfork learns to control his emotions. Offensive line? Very good. QB? None better. TEs and RB's? None better. It's the lack of wide receivers that is the major concern. Coaches can't control injuries (stop using that word you moron!! fucking jinx..) but they can control a lot of other stuff.
"Are Belicheck/Pioli the modern day equivalent of Red in his prime? I'd have to say Yes! Remember when Auerbach signed half the Knicks team to keep McHale in Green? The coolest, funniest moment of the entire sports year was BB filing that tampering charge against the Jets. Who cares if it works out into a fine or 6th rounder or whatever. It was designed to show the kid Mangini that his old boss plays for keeps. As Bill Maher said Friday night, 'The real patriot act is shitting your pants'. Well, how 'bout it, Eric? Is that what happened?
"Has any team since the early to mid 90's Cowboys had more Hall of Famers on its roster? Not a chance. Brady, Seymour, Harrison, and Seau are locks. And since the current squad is so young (yes, really, check the ages of everyone except the linebackers) there may be a bunch more, like Dillon (moderate chance), Light, Vrabel (very small chance but they won't ever be forgotten by Patriot fans) and the greatness that is Troy Brown. Did I imagine that stiff arm he put on the Jet DB yesterday? Did that really happen? Troy Brown, thy name is "Football Player".
"Now if there's no further questions I have to go stick pins in my Garry Trudeau doll for about a half hour. That is all."
===============================
The Closet here at Apartment404 contains two replica jerseys: Yao Ming's. And number 54, Tedy Bruschi. HOF chances? Pretty damn good, if Harry Carson got in. Sometimes Apartment404's memory....not so good.
posted by joe sweeney at 10:13 AM
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