Right underneath the "Welcome to Maine" Sign....

Old news (link no longer valide since media in Maine.....are not too good at archiving.), but still funny. The chief of police, a Mr. Ed Strong, apparently had no idea that his good friend was laundering money for a brothel? The chief of police in Kittery is either:

a) a liar, a baldfaced liar. perjury charges to follow? not bloody likely....

b) a clueless person best left to guarding chickencoops, not Maine townships.

You only get to choose one, Kittery. It's either a) or b).

....So which is it?

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From that alltime standard, "The Sound of Music"....

Artist: the Nuns Lyrics
Song: Maria Lyrics

Uno, dos, tres....

He climbs a tree and scrapes his knee
His uni has got a tear
He waltzes on his way to work
And whistles on the stair
And underneath his chapeau
He has nothing on his head
I even heard him singing in the lobby

He's always late for roll call
But his penitence is real
He's always late for everything
Except for every meal
I hate to have to say it
But I very firmly feel
Chief Stong's not an asset to the township

I'd like to say a word in his behalf
Chief Stong makes me giggle

How do you solve a problem like Chief Stong?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find a word that means Ass-hole?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him
Many a thing he ought to understand
But how do you make him stay
And listen to all you say
How do you throw a chief out on his can?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Chief Stong?
How do you throw a moonbeam off your hand?

When I'm with him I'm confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Unpredictable as weather
He's as flighty as a feather
He's not a darling! He's a demon! He ain't a lamb!

He'd outpester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
He could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
He ain't gentle! He is wild!
He's a riddle! He's a child!
He's a headache! He's not an angel!
He's a churll!

How do you solve a problem like Chief Stong?
How do you catch a cloud and throw it down?
How do you find a word that means Ass-hole?
A flibbertijibbet! A will-o'-the wisp! A clown!

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell him
Many a thing he ought to understand
But how do you make him stay
And listen to all you say
How do you keep a throw a chief out on his can?

Oh, how do you solve a problem like Chief Stong?
How do you throw a moonbeam off your hand?

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The Township of Kittery: Not just for hookers and johns anymore!