Ralph Sampson has very gifted sperm. He never misses!
Allergic to latex? You may be a former professional athlete!
Ralph Sampson, that almost Boston Celtic way back when (Red threw a hell of a fit when he couldn't get big Ralph to come out of UVA in the early '80's..oh yeah...sometimes Red was lucky as well as good, as he turned what would have been a wasted pick of Sampson into The Chief, who also has a history with women not to be proud of, and the great Kevin McHale.) has EIGHT children by FIVE women. Man, can he post up! And now, well after the partying days spent in The League are over, Sampson has several hundred thousand in child support bills to pay. And may be going to jail for a while.
The big question: will they have a bed big enough for a 7-4 dude in lockup?
Answer: I don't care anymore. Sampson was one of my first sports crushes. A big fat manly boy crush on the big kid from Virginia who stayed near home to play at the University of Virginia. I saved his first Sports Illustrated cover for months. At the time, I intensely disliked Dean Smith, who I thought charmless (hey, I was 13!), and rooted hard for Terry Holland, Ralph, and ex-U Maine star Rick Carlisle. They won the NIT Sampson's freshman year, made the Final Four in his sophomore year, then were upset fairly early on in the NCAA's the next two years. But still, I always enjoyed the tall but slender and oh so graceful center, whose hands were obviously too big to have much of a touch but who also clearly wanted to play like a little man.
Guess I still have a lot to learn about separating the artist from his art. And yes, I do consider great athletes artists. Jordan, Gretzky, Bird? Any question that they were "Artists"?
It must totally suck to be on top of the world, making millions of dollars a year, and then a handful of years later be broke after lending/giving money to every relative and high school buddy you ever knew, but still, eight kids by five women is utterly ridiculous.
Guess big Ralph and I both have some more growing up to do.
======================
Edit: Case seemingly closed for Ralph.
Ralph Sampson, that almost Boston Celtic way back when (Red threw a hell of a fit when he couldn't get big Ralph to come out of UVA in the early '80's..oh yeah...sometimes Red was lucky as well as good, as he turned what would have been a wasted pick of Sampson into The Chief, who also has a history with women not to be proud of, and the great Kevin McHale.) has EIGHT children by FIVE women. Man, can he post up! And now, well after the partying days spent in The League are over, Sampson has several hundred thousand in child support bills to pay. And may be going to jail for a while.
The big question: will they have a bed big enough for a 7-4 dude in lockup?
Answer: I don't care anymore. Sampson was one of my first sports crushes. A big fat manly boy crush on the big kid from Virginia who stayed near home to play at the University of Virginia. I saved his first Sports Illustrated cover for months. At the time, I intensely disliked Dean Smith, who I thought charmless (hey, I was 13!), and rooted hard for Terry Holland, Ralph, and ex-U Maine star Rick Carlisle. They won the NIT Sampson's freshman year, made the Final Four in his sophomore year, then were upset fairly early on in the NCAA's the next two years. But still, I always enjoyed the tall but slender and oh so graceful center, whose hands were obviously too big to have much of a touch but who also clearly wanted to play like a little man.
Guess I still have a lot to learn about separating the artist from his art. And yes, I do consider great athletes artists. Jordan, Gretzky, Bird? Any question that they were "Artists"?
It must totally suck to be on top of the world, making millions of dollars a year, and then a handful of years later be broke after lending/giving money to every relative and high school buddy you ever knew, but still, eight kids by five women is utterly ridiculous.
Guess big Ralph and I both have some more growing up to do.
======================
Edit: Case seemingly closed for Ralph.
posted by joe sweeney at 10:20 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home