One part Deadspin, one part Daily show, and one big part Carl Monday. Mix.

This is why the kids should stay off the internets. Because it is a vast wasteland of indecency and hatred. And bad spelling (don't I know it). From WKYC Channel 3 in Cleveland, and Carl Monday's (not his real name) personal blog. My comments are in parentheses, and are attempts to put Monday's and his viewers comments into context.

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John Stewart Crew Confronts Carl Monday (It's actually spelled Jon, but hey, Stewart is Jewish, so what's the diff?)
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It's 7:30am...and a "reporter" and two photographers are camped out at the end of my driveway. Wait...isn't that my job?

The "reporter" approaches and barks out something like this......"Carl, I'm a big fan of yours. How do you like going after sleeze bags?" (Doubtful that this happened in a way "something like this". The cameramen from the Daily Show carry film, not cameras, and the correspondants can't air a story without getting a sitdown with the subject. Very doubtful.)

This must be some kind of a joke. Well, in fact it is. The kind you find on Comedy Central. More to the point, the cable commedy icon....John Stewart Show. Yea, I know the guy is enormously popular...even hosted the Oscars....but at 11pm..I'm usually watching the local news and admit to not owning Tivo. ("Commedy?" "John"? "Yea"?)

So that's my excuse for not immediatley recognizing the crew that confronted me the other morning )my wife was next to me in the car if you don't believe me.) (Parenthesis his, not mine. Just so you know. Bet his wife is hot and wicked smart, too.)

Seems Stewart's producers sent the crew to Cleveland to do a "bit" on me. They hung around all day...sticking their microphone in the faces of downtowners...and Channel 3 staffers.

They hung around the station...and finally, by late afternoon...we "confronted" them...a case of dueling confrontations if you will...in the Channel 3 parking lot.

The "reporter" asked rediculous questions..and wasted no time regressing to comments about the "library story." You can guess where the "interview" went from there. ("Rediculous"? The library story is actually Monday's claim to fame, the numerous Emmy's notwithstanding, thanks to Deadspin.com.)

The "spoof" is supposed to air this week on the Commedy Channel. We'll give you a heads up on WKYC.COM. (How the fuck do you misspell "comedy" TWICE? Even I can't spell that bad.)

Don't now if I'll be laughing..but with all the bad news we deliver each day..i suppose we could all use some comic relief. ("now"? "i"?)

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Post a Comment On: Carl Monday: Cleveland's Investigative Reporter
"Jon Stewart Crew Confronts Carl Monday"
19 Comments -Show Original Post Collapse comments

Anonymous said...
Carl, you need to use the spell check feature.
September 25, 2006

Anonymous said...
Are you kidding? You're a journalist? I thought that the field of jounalism required a degree in...journalism! Ran this through MS Word, found over a dozen errors. Spelling, grammar, style, you name it. I "don't now" where you acheived your degree, but you really should ask for your money back. Oh, by the way, it's the Daily Show with John Stewart. Try checking your facts before you just post them. This is the problem with blogs: they make the illiterate write things that are illegible and unintelligible, and then these monstrosities of the English language somehow find their way onto the web.
September 25, 2006 (I am laughing sooooo hard right now. This is a classic post of outrage mixed with.....something.)

Anonymous said...
Um, the previous commenter could use his/her own spell check:
It's achieved, not "acheived"
And it's the Daily Show with Jon Stewart, not John Stewart.
So don't be casting stones when you're living in glass houses, bucko.
I look forward to seeing the report--it should be funny!
September 25, 2006 ("Bucko?" Holy shit. Now you know you are in Ohio, motherfucker. Take that, bucko!)

Michael Cappetta said...
Shouldn’t be surprising that the previous posters wanted to remain anonymous. Anyways, sounds like it was fun and I am excited to see the report on Wednesday! Will Channel 3 do a story on them with the ‘dual confrontation’?
September 25, 2006 (Obviously lives with mother. Enough said.)

Anonymous said...
I think it's nice that you can have a sense of humor about yourself even if they do make you look bad. And by the way, who said you were conducting a class on spelling, writing and grammer in your blog, BIG DEAL!!! I look forward to seeing the report.
September 25, 2006 (This guy, "Anonymous"....I'll BET has no full cable package in his dorm room. Will be asking friends "what channel is the "Carl Monday Commedy Report" on tonight?)

Anonymous said...
Who cares about a few mispelled words? Good for you Carl. I have a DVR and have it set to tape the show. I think it's great they would want to do a bit on you. You haver always done an extremely good job of helping people out and I was actually shocked to see the library spot and what that man was doing. Carl, you should be proud that they would think you would be a great bit for them even if it is a spoof.
September 25, 2006 (Retard.)

Anonymous said...
Let's here it for internet lingo! This is a blog, not your English class! SOME of us are smart enough to know when to put the arrogance away for the night.
Carl, looking forward to seeing you on the Daily Show! We need all the good publicity we can get here in C-Town, even if it is on the funny side! Congrats Carl!
September 25, 2006 (Where the hell is C-Town? That would presumably be Cleveland, which has 9 letters. C-Town has 5 and a -. Man, that's some time saved.)

Anonymous said...
Do you only make admissions that you don't own a Tivo at 11 p.m. while watching the news?
September 26, 2006

Christopher said...
Don't these comedy people realize the time and effort it takes to uncover the truth and protect the public from those who would attempt to poison our fair city. Have they no shame.
Apparently these people have never been to a public library and had the pages of National Geographic stick together.
Well let me tell you something, I have and I sleep better at night knowing that you are out there beating the streets protecting me from the vile and disgusting masses.
I love you Carl.
September 26, 2006 (Carl Monday (not his real name) replies: "Thanks, Mom. I luve you two." "Beating the streets"...was that an attempt at funny business? Seriously, this HAS GOT TO BE A SARCASTIC comment, or I'll [contemplate] eating my socks.)

Mike Cooper said...
Whatever you do, DO NOT watch this report. Also, DO NOT have sex with yourself in public libraries. Yhat is all.
September 26, 2006 (Now that's some damn comedic posting.)

Anonymous said...
This is the most ridiculously awesome scenario I've heard about in quote some time. Thank you to all parties involved.
September 26, 2006

Anonymous said...
This is so rediculous!
September 26, 2006 (Now Y'all just being silly.)

Anonymous said...
Carl, you're about as much of a 'reporter' as anyone from the daily show.
September 26, 2006 (Actually, if you hold Carl Monday (not his real name) in your right hand (snort), take away the awesome shitheadedness, add a lot of talent and intellect, then mix some good taste and a ton of humor, you'd have a Daily Show correspondent. Maybe. Oh damn, forgot: shave the fucking mustache, loser.)

Anonymous said...
Ridiculous that a supposedly professional journalist can't spell...
September 26, 2006

Ric Romero said...
Carl, I was very impressed with your report, but I'm even more impressed with your blog! As a fellow reporter, I'm always trying to stay on the cutting edge of technology. (My forte is consumer news.)
Keep up the good work in investigative journalism! Maybe I'll come up to Cleveland sometime to visit sometime...but I guess I'll stay out of the library! ;D
September 26, 2006 (Ric is a homo. The gaydar says that ";D" is one dead giveaway. No real man types ;D unironically.) (Edit: OK, so Ric Romero is a real reporter based in LA. If this is really him, he's definately gay as well as being a national punchline for other reasons. You can't make this shit up, unfortunately. Oh my God, my side hurts from laughing.)

Anonymous said...
Well, the previous commenter didn't purport himself to be a journalist.
The blogger does. So...he's really got a point.
I spelt btter tahn taht in grdae shcool.
September 26, 2006

Anonymous said...
You're all idiots. Stop bitching about language and grammar you retards, who reads blogs and then pastes the to MS.....Honestly get a life, and "journalist" the only interviewees on The Daily Show are 99% of the time incompetent and usually lack any ability whatsoever except (most unfortunately) the ability to breath and swallow food.
September 26, 2006 (Mr. "Get a Life, you idiots" has enough of a life, or lack thereof, to post to others telling them to get a life. Actually, I have no idea what this guy is talking about......Well, shit, now I'm confused. Do I need to get a life, too?)

Kevin said...
John Stewart is watching you masturbate, Carl.
September 26, 2006 (Well, now we know. NOBODY can spell the little Jew's name. Where's Wik when you need it.)

Anonymous said...
Carl, you are an unethical and unscrupulous and apparently illiterate wanker. It's "Jon" Stewart, hoss -- among your many other crimes against the English language (and common decency).
I thank you for the laughter you've brought to my home, though.
I've been a college English professor for 25 years, eight of them in Cleveland. It's hard for me to imagine that you're making more than three hundred grand, when so many (more literate) people could do your job better.
Enjoy your time in between becoming a national laughingstock and the day that WKYC (inevitably) fires you.
September 26, 2006 (Obviously the best post. But...300K? For watching lonely OSU fans masturbate? Where do I sign on the dotted line? Fuck morals, give me the cash. Carl Monday (not his real name) is one smart son of a bitch.)