You. Cannot. Make. This. Shit. Up.: Parts I and II
Part I:
Republican Congressman Foley of Florida, the author of the sexual predator provisions of the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act of 2006, resigns due to numerous cases of......acting like a sexual predator towards underage males and females.
The Onion would have never, ever thought up something like this. And they get paid to think "outside the box". Holy shit.
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Part II:
HBO Comic causes international incident.
Leading to World War III? Tune in next week.
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Maybe Foley should visit Kazakhstan. I hear Borat's sister is excellent, clean prostitute.
Though probably too old for him.
=====================
Followup, 9/30/06: "So tell me Mr. Congressman, did you exchange raunchy emails with a young boy? No? Good enough for government work. Ok, we're done here" Dept:
link to story
"Rep. John Shimkus, R-Ill., chairman of the Page Board that oversees the congressional work-study program for high schoolers, said he did investigate but Foley falsely assured him he was only mentoring the boy. Pages are high school students who attend classes under congressional supervision and work as messengers."
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Followup, 10/2/06: Just like Alanis and that old Winona Ryder character from "Reality Bites", AP writers may have some trouble understanding the true meaning of the word "ironic". here:
"Ironically, Foley, who is 52 and single, could be found to have violated a law that he helped to write as co-chairman of the Congressional Missing and Exploited Children's Caucus."
Wait....hmmm....my bad...that may be a bit closer to what the word actually means.
Oh hell, I'll look it up in Webster's Collegiate: "irony - n - 1. a method of humorous or subtly sarcastic expression in which the intended meaning of the words is the direct opposite of their usual sense." No, I was right the first time: nothing "humorous" or "subtly sarcastic" about old creepy men of power hitting on high school students.
Well, that's settled.
Republican Congressman Foley of Florida, the author of the sexual predator provisions of the Adam Walsh Child Protection and Safety Act of 2006, resigns due to numerous cases of......acting like a sexual predator towards underage males and females.
The Onion would have never, ever thought up something like this. And they get paid to think "outside the box". Holy shit.
=====================
Part II:
HBO Comic causes international incident.
Leading to World War III? Tune in next week.
=====================
Maybe Foley should visit Kazakhstan. I hear Borat's sister is excellent, clean prostitute.
Though probably too old for him.
=====================
Followup, 9/30/06: "So tell me Mr. Congressman, did you exchange raunchy emails with a young boy? No? Good enough for government work. Ok, we're done here" Dept:
link to story
"Rep. John Shimkus, R-Ill., chairman of the Page Board that oversees the congressional work-study program for high schoolers, said he did investigate but Foley falsely assured him he was only mentoring the boy. Pages are high school students who attend classes under congressional supervision and work as messengers."
=====================
Followup, 10/2/06: Just like Alanis and that old Winona Ryder character from "Reality Bites", AP writers may have some trouble understanding the true meaning of the word "ironic". here:
"Ironically, Foley, who is 52 and single, could be found to have violated a law that he helped to write as co-chairman of the Congressional Missing and Exploited Children's Caucus."
Wait....hmmm....my bad...that may be a bit closer to what the word actually means.
Oh hell, I'll look it up in Webster's Collegiate: "irony - n - 1. a method of humorous or subtly sarcastic expression in which the intended meaning of the words is the direct opposite of their usual sense." No, I was right the first time: nothing "humorous" or "subtly sarcastic" about old creepy men of power hitting on high school students.
Well, that's settled.
posted by joe sweeney at 6:19 PM
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