Thursday, November 02, 2006

C's Lose Opener......Herald: "Wait 'Till Next Year"..?

One of the great evenings of the year: Opening Night in the NBA (don't give me any Heat or Laker crap). And here's some stuff from the box scores....

----------------------------------------------

Hornets 91 -- Celtics 87

Szcerbiak -- 37 minutes, 5-14 from the floor.
Gerald Green -- DNP Coach's Decision

Telfair -- 28 minutes, 2-5 shooting, no free throws, 1 goddamn assist
Rondo -- 23 minutes, 6 pts, 4 rebounds, 3 assists

----------------------------------------------

Magic 109 -- Bulls 94

Grant Hill -- 29 minutes, 19 points, 4 assists, 2 steals. How sweet is that?

----------------------------------------------

76ers 88 -- Hawks 75

the no longer Fab Chris Webber -- 34 minutes, 4-16 shooting, 8 points, no free throws, a bunch of boards (though Harvey Pollack was keeping the rebound totals)

----------------------------------------------

Pacers 106 -- Bobcats 99

Adam Morrison, in a loss, but still -- 32 minutes, 5-13 from the field, 14 pts, 2 steals. Take a seat Brevin Knight.

----------------------------------------------

Nets 102 -- Raptors 92

For Toronto, #1 pick Bargnani had 2 points in 9 minutes.

For NJ, Marcus Williams had 7 pts, 8 rebounds and 3 assists in 23 minutes. And a pat on the ass from 34 year old Jason Kidd.

----------------------------------------------

In the offseason's big challenge trade --

TJ Ford in Raptors L -- 34 minutes, 19 points, 7 assists, but 5 turnovers -- A-

v

Charlie Villenueva in Bucks W -- 33 minutes, 6-21 shooting, 16 points, 12 rebounds, 4 assists -- B+ because of the 15 misses

----------------------------------------------

Cavs 97 -- Wizards 94

a Mr. DeShawn Stevenson -- 29 minutes, 2-7 from the floor, zero free throws, 4 points. I think that's enough chances. Give Jarvis Hayes 35 minutes a night, please.

---------------------------------------------

Timberwolves 92 -- Kings 83

Randy Foye played 6 minutes and didn't score. -- Please oh please let him have a sprained ankle. This was Apartment404's pick to be the next Mitch Richmond?

oh yeah....Stat line of the night came from BC's own bull, Craig Smith -- 10 minutes, 3 points, 6 personal fouls. That's tha way to announce your presence with authority, Craig.

---------------------------------------------

Knicks 118 -- Grizzlies 117 in 3 OT

In the post game press conference, Isiah groped two female reporters on the way to the podium, then, while wearing his famous "Isiah smirk", gave an expletive laden speech directed at ESPN's Greg Anthony and the other media he said "had never played the game anyway." Then nominated Renaldo Balkman for Rookie of the Year after his 8 minute, scoreless yet gritty ("Eckstein-like") performance. Isiah -- "We're working on an extension for the kid right now. How's 6 years, $30 million sound?"

Stevie Franchise -- 35 minutes, 0 for the game from the field, 5 to's. Is he hurt or does he just really suck now?

Rudy Gay (is his jersey available for purchase yet? Man, that cracks us up.) -- 38 minutes and 21 points. Where the fuck was that against Mason?

oh, and Kyle Lowry had 10 rebounds in 28 minutes. Pao was a DNP, and better watch out. Lowry is 175 pounds of guts.

------------------------------------------

Jazz 107 -- Rockets 97

T-Mac -- 42 minutes, 8 of 24 from the floor in the loss.

v

Yao -- 33 minutes, 8-12 shooting. -- Give. Him. The. Ball.

------------------------------------------

Blazers 110 -- Sonics 106

Brandon Roy -- 35 minutes, 10-16 shooting, 20 points, but no free throws. -- B+. Gotta get some freebies.

---------------------------------------------

Fakers 110 -- Warriors 98

2-0 with no Kobe.

Jordan Farmer -- 25 minutes, 9 pts, 4 assists. Good job.

Bonus, Funny Stat Line -- Patrick O'Bryant played 5 minutes for Golden State. Had zero points and zero rebounds. Chris Mullin, you may have made another mistake, God luv ya.

--------------------------------------------

Suns 112 -- Clips 104

Amare Stoudemire -- 25 minutes, 15 points and 4 rebounds. Nice to see.

----------------------------------------------

And this is why Marty Burns writes for SI.com, and not the print edition: from his NBA predictions column posted 10/31/06

"Cigars will be popping up all over Boston's T.D. Banknorth Garden, partly in honor of Red Auerbach and partly in honor of the new Celtics dance team."

Go fuck yourself.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home