Saturday, October 28, 2006

Why I like the Tigers in Game Six: "It ain't over till it's over"

1) Tony LaRussa is the most overrated, over-thinking, pretentious manager in the game. His teams, while always winners and hugely talented, continue to find ways to lose the big one. Trust me, they'll choke. And....LaRussa's just so smug.

2) Albert Pujols has apparently applied for a name change with the state of Missouri. He wants to be known as "the surly Albert Pujols", since every article written about him uses this phrase. Guys like that who are perpetually angry with the world worry me. I think about a certain Mr. Albert (ha!) Belle, for example. He broke down physically AND mentally. Actually, Belle never really broke down. He was broke to start with. Though I'm not crazy about those damn trick or treaters always ringing Apartment404's doorbell, either. Little fuckers.

3) The Cardinals are one of the great, historic, and proud franchises. They were the late Jack Buck's team for a long time ("Go crazy, folks! Go crazy!", "I don't believe what I just saw!" -- two of the great calls). Cool uniforms. But I just don't care for 'em. Enos Slaughter and Bob Gibson can go to hell. Cost us two World Series. And their laydown in 2004 took a lot of the drama out of one of the great moments in sports history.

4) Cookie-cutter fans who cheer when told. Are these folks all Mormons or something? They look like robots. Check out Fenway on a summer night: everyone has a different Red Sox hat on. Or has snuck in a "I Don't Particulary Care For Those Yankee Fellows" t-shirt. Or is passed out drunk in an aisle. But Cardinals fans appear to have been given the same hats and shirts at the front gate. Sure, they consistently get big crowds. But I'll take the assholes at Fenway. At least they're our assholes. And real people, not Mormons.

5) If I hear one more time about the greatness that is David Eckstein, I'm gonna fuckin' puke. Should the Cardinals win this thing, sportwriters will mention him as a potential MVP. Bullshit. Any time the Cardinals take the field, the other team is thinking about Pujols first and Eckstein maybe seventh.

6) 83 - 78 teams don't win World Championships.

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