Friday, December 01, 2006

Move along now...Nothing to see here, folks....Keep moving...

So last night we had a break-in here at Apartment404. Nothing major. Someone or some group of someones short sheeted the beds, looked through (and soiled) our box o' porn, and ate some of the Apartment404 foodstuffs. Like we said, no biggee.

But it got the staff here thinking. We have so many blessings to be thankful for, gosh darn it all.

Especially since the entire (civilized) world is now entering that magical month when Jesus Christ Superstar himself was born 2000 or so years ago. On December 25th, to the DAY(!), in Isreal. Or Lebanon. Or Syria. We're not sure, exactly. But we KNOW "The Son of God" was born on December 25th, somewhere in the Middle East (so idyllic, so peaceful), in a manger. Next to some camel poop.

Here's just a partial listing of things we are grateful for:

1) The trusty Apt404 Corolla, which has not been vandalized in several months.

2) That the Boston Celtics are in good hands with Wyc Y. Grousbeck leading the wave every home game, Danny Ainge shuffling and reshuffling the cards on a team that went to the Conference Finals a couple of years ago, and Doc Rivers having that rotation of players DOWN, man. He pulls the strings like a puppet master. Like a damn virtuoso. *

3) That dog owners in the city of Portland always clean up their pooch's fecal matter, taking responsibility for their pet's droppings and allowing other citizens to not have to step knee deep in dog shit every time they leave the Apartment Building in which Apt404 is situated. *

4) That the world's greatest magazine, Sports Illustrated would never, ever stoop so low as to print a picture of a grotesquely broken arm suffered by one of the all time great linebackers. Will. Never. Happen. *

5) Despite everything, we believe that people really are good at heart. If this is not true, let us die of typhus. In a concentration camp.

6) Because one of the members of Apartment404 is a pastor's concubine, everyone thinks their life is perfect and they have that person figured out. Not so fast. *

7) That we have the about as much athletic ability as the greatest second baseman of this or any other generation: Opie. My word, is he a scrapper! With a heart the size of a watermelon to match! *

8) Books like "Atonement." (And we are hoping that this leads nowhere.)

9) Speaking of books....Dave Eggers.

10) Global warming. How can 63 degrees on the last day of November be a bad thing? Could someone please explain this to us? *

( * symbol denotes sarcasm intended. for those unsure.)

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