This Crazy World: The more things change, the more they stay the same.

from some site that should be downloaded to the Smithsonian...

--------------------------------------------------

Gilda Radner as Roseanne Roseannadanna on SNL's Weekend Update: "Why don't you just shut up and eat the cake? [Jane Curtin cautiously takes a piece of fruitcake and gives it a sniff while Gilda holds a letter in her hand] And, Mr. Feder, you pathetic person from New Jersey, I didn't forget about your problem. But, Mr. Feder, you gotta take the bad with the good. It's just like the holiday advice passed down to me by my grandmother ... [Jane pulls a long hair out of the fruitcake and looks disgusted] You can just throw that out...it still tastes good....Just like the holiday advice passed down to me by my grandmother, Nana Roseannadanna. [As Roseanne rambles on, Jane eats some of the fruitcake] She used to say, 'Life is just like a fruitcake. When you look at it, it's rich and sweet with honey and sugar and spice, tastes delicious, makes your mouth water and everything. But if you look at it real close, there's these weird little green things in it and all that and you don't know what it is!' [Jane looks alarmed] Merry Christmas, Roseanne Roseannadanna."

[Jane eats some of the fruitcake] Jane Curtin: "That's the news. Good night and have a pleasant holiday."

Roseanne Roseannadanna: [to Jane, taking a bite off the fruitcake] "This is good!"

====================================

Good, bad, but never indifferent: This is life on planet Earth for the strange people known as Earthlings.

Let's all take a deep breath, shall we?

=====================================

From this morning's Portland Press Herald...

"Dear (Advice Columnist distributed in hundreds of papers throughout the US):

I broke up with an ex over a year ago. He has since moved to another city and is in a serious relationship. I'm still in D.C., still at the same stupid job and have been through an assortment of mediocre relationships. Now, things were hardly bells and stars with him -- and he should properly remain an ex -- but we did get along very well. I find myself thinking about him way more than I should. To make matters worse, we've e-mailed lately. How do I knock this loser out of my head? And how do I stop feeling sucky about my own life in comparison to his?

Washington"


(Is this a real letter from a real person? The 'Pent will treat it as such)

Since the Syndicated Advice Columnist is restrained from telling this truly frightening woman (or man) just where they can stuff their "stupid job" and "mediocre relationships", due to the power of big business and the threat of pulling their "Sales" ads if they don't like what we read, Apartment404 is gonna step in and step up to the plate.

Hey Laaady. You are an idiot. Blaming others for your all problems is a short term/long term strategic mess.

Short term: it feels good to say to yourself, "why is the world filled with suckiness and losers who make my life so lousy?"

Long term, well, that's a strategy sure to lead to a lifetime of misery, heartache, and despair. People have some measure of control, at least here in the US and A. Don't like your boyfriend? Break the fuck up.

Don't like your job? Well, that's tougher. We've had jobs that helped land us in ja... I mean in supervised psychiatric environments. No really. Having $100 dollars in the bank certainly limits options, but what fucking choice do you have? Sit home sucking your thumb? Or trying to make the best of the only lifetime you'll get, sister. Find a new job. Live on the streets begging for change. Join the Peace Corps. Become a political consultant, even.

Do something. Do something.

Don't whine about how you are persecuted/prosecuted so much. Poor you? Oh, please.

Get on with it, "Washington."

Cuz you only go around once.

Stop looking for boogers and smell the roses, for crying out loud.