Are you scared yet? You shouldn't be.

What a bunch of crap this whole Turner Broadcasting/Time Warner/city of Boston/"bomb" threat hoax has been today.

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Give us a big fucking break, Mr. Government: no one on the bomb squads thought these things were actual bombs.

This was some kind of a dry run to see how the populace would react, we think.

And yes, at first, we here in Underground Bunker #404 were concerned. Hell, we were ready to fly to Nebraska, once we finished our book.

"Bomb" and all that will do that to IBS sufferers. Spent 40 minutes in the "#404 Reading Room."

But then the lightbulb went off. Those were enlarged PacMen, printed on posters, and stapled or taped to bridges and girders. Come on now. We ain't that stupid...at least once the initial shock of having the fine folks who run this country tell us that "all is not well."

Tighten that grip all you want. The end result is gonna be the same.

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Rundown on today's non-events from Channel 4 in Beantown.