Family/Moral/Corporate Values Multiple Choice Test..with Bonus WTF Questions
Several based on/inspired by "The Best Money Democracy Can Buy" by Greg Palast (Commie Bastard!)
===================================
FOR QUESTIONS 1-3: WHICH OF THE ANSWERS IS INCORRECT:
1) Pat Robertson should properly be addressed as:
a) Doctor
b) Reverend
c) Mr. Billionaire
d) Marion
e) not a war hero
f) (unmentionable)
2) The overthrow of Chile's President-elect Salvador Allende in 1973 (as made famous to Americans through the Hollywood movie "Missing") was engineered chiefly by the following:
a) Pepsi-Cola
b) ITT Corporation
c) Henry Kissinger
d) Anaconda Copper
e) Coca Cola Corp.
f) the CIA
3) The Exxon Valdez oil spill of 1989 and subsequent oil slick spoiling 1,200 miles of Alaskan shoreline can be attributed to:
a) the failure of the ship's radar to spot Bligh Reef....because it hadn't been turned on in the last 12 months prior to the spill due to cost cutting measures ordered by Exxon Corp.
b) Joe Hazelwood, captain of the ship, who was drunk boating and ran the Exxon Valdez into the reef.
c) Exxon Corp. apathy, as per Captain James Woodle, Valdez Port's commander, in 1984 "Due to a reduction in manning, age of equipment, limited training and lack of personnel, serious doubt exists that [we] would be able to contain and clean up effectively a medium or large size oil spill."
d) on the night of the spill, the emergency response barge, containing barriers and pumps which would have prevented much of the damage, was in dry dock, locked in ice in Valdez, though Exxon had promised to always have barges available.
PICK THE BEST ANSWER TO QUESTION 4:
4) How old was actress Stockard Channing when she played "Rizzo" in the 1978 musical "Grease"?
a) 52
b) 20
c) 16
d) 34
e) a gentleman does NOT ask a lady her age
QUESTIONS 5-8: TRUE OR FALSE:
5) Jackie Robinson was the first African-American to play professional baseball.
6) Ray Kroc, main man behind the McDonald's McWorld we live in, was once quoted as saying "We cannot trust some people who are non-conformists".
7) It is widely believed that that Bush 41's Secretary of State James Baker gave Saddam Hussein a "greenlight" to settle his long held border disputes with Kuwait, leading to Iraq's invasion, sparking the First Gulf War.
8) Mel Gibson is a "happy" drunk.
QUESTIONS 9 and 10: MULTIPLE CHOICE:
9) When drunk, does Mel Gibson yell "Do you know who I am? Do you know who I am?" at the cops arresting him?
a) yes
b) no
c) not sure, but pretty damn likely
10) "Snakes on a Plane" is gonna really, really suck.
a) yes
b) no
c) not sure, but pretty damn likely
==================================
Answer Key:
1) Answer= a) "Pat" Robertson is not an ordained Baptist minister, as of 1988. He is a "televangelist". His net worth has been valued at somewhere between $200m and a "beyond belief shitload." His real first name is Marion. He has a doctorate from something called the New York Theological Seminary, issued in 1959. Several fellow Marines, including a Congressman, have stated that Robertson used his father's pedigree as a US Senator to avoid any and all combat duties in Korea (though he claimed to have seen a good deal of action), and in the opinion of one was mostly in charge of keeping the officer's club stocked with booze.
2) Answer= e) Pepsi-Cola, ITT, and most especially Anaconda Copper (because Chile has/had vast copper resources) were American corporations pushing the US government to supply weapons/money/etc. to the anti-socialist forces in Chile led by Augusto Pinochet. Henry Kissinger ("The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer."), noted Realpolitician (meaning he screwed/killed everyone he could get away with screwing/killing) pushed hard for the overthrow because Allende's first allegience was to the people of Chile, not a certain superpower far to the north. And the CIA supplied many of the weapons, though other Western nations contributed same to Pinochet's death squads. No, Coca Cola had no involvement that I have read of.
3) Answer= b) Captain Hazelwood, though drunk, was asleep. The wheel of the Exxon Valdez was being manned by the Third Mate. All other answers contributed to the massive spill and subsequent ecological disaster. Hazelwood bears some responsibity, certainly, but was subsequently made a complete fall guy by Exxon and the powers that be.
4) Answer=c) Channing, a wonderful actress and future pretend First Lady, played the high schooler at the ripe old age of 34. If you picked e) you are wicked old.
5) False. The first pro league in the US began play in 1876, and the great Moses Fleetwood Walker became the first black man to play professionally in 1884, only to leave baseball behind five years later. Players of the day, including HOFer Cap Anson, became more and more resistant to competing with and against blacks post Reconstruction. In 1887 an agreement among International League teams' owners required that no blacks be offered contracts in the future. It took 54 years before a black man was allowed to play professioinally against whites in the most popular of American sports.
6) True.
7) True. Here's what Wikipedia has to say on the issue: "In late July, 1990, as negotiations between Iraq and Kuwait stalled, Iraq massed troops on Kuwait's borders and summoned American Ambassador April Glaspie for an unanticipated meeting with Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. Two transcripts of that meeting have been produced, both of them controversial. According to the transcripts, Saddam outlined his grievances against Kuwait, while promising that he would not invade Kuwait before one more round of negotiations. In the version published by The New York Times on September 23, 1990, Glaspie expressed concern over the troop buildup, but went on to say:
We have no opinion on the Arab-Arab conflicts, like your border disagreement with Kuwait. I was in the American Embassy in Kuwait during the late '60s. The instruction we had during this period was that we should express no opinion on this issue and that the issue is not associated with America. James Baker has directed our official spokesmen to emphasize this instruction. We hope you can solve this problem using any suitable methods via [Chadli] Klibi [then Arab League General Secretary] or via President Mubarak. All that we hope is that these issues are solved quickly."
8) False you war mongering Jew bastard, ya!!!!
Gibson was arrested for DUI in LA on Friday the 28th of July.
From TMZ.com:
According to the report, Gibson became agitated after he was stopped on Pacific Coast Highway and told he was to be detained for drunk driving Friday morning in Malibu. The actor began swearing uncontrollably. Gibson repeatedly said, "My life is f****d." TMZ.com has learned that Deputy Mee audiotaped the entire exchange between himself and Gibson, from the time of the traffic stop to the time Gibson was put in the patrol car, and that the tape fully corroborates the written report.
Once inside the car, a source directly connected with the case says Gibson began banging himself against the seat. The report says Gibson told the deputy, "You mother f****r. I'm going to f*** you." The report also says "Gibson almost continually [sic] threatened me saying he 'owns Malibu' and will spend all of his money to 'get even' with me."
The report says Gibson then launched into a barrage of anti-Semitic statements: "F*****g Jews... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world." Gibson then asked the deputy, "Are you a Jew?"
The deputy became alarmed as Gibson's tirade escalated, and called ahead for a sergeant to meet them when they arrived at the station. When they arrived, a sergeant began videotaping Gibson, who noticed the camera and then said, "What the f*** do you think you're doing?"
A law enforcement source says Gibson then noticed another female sergeant and yelled, "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?"
We're told Gibson took two blood alcohol tests, which were videotaped, and continued saying how "f****d" he was and how he was going to "f***" Deputy Mee.
Gibson was put in a cell with handcuffs on...
...Gibson then demanded to make a phone call. He was taken to a pay phone and, when he didn't get a dial tone, we're told Gibson threw the receiver against the phone. Deputy Mee then warned Gibson that if he damaged the phone he could be charged with felony vandalism. We're told Gibson was then asked, and refused, to sign the necessary paperwork and was thrown in a detox cell.
Deputy Mee then wrote an eight-page report detailing Gibson's rampage and comments. Sources say the sergeant on duty felt it was too "inflammatory." ...and on and on, etc. etc.
9) Answer=c) What celeb DOESN'T scream this when they got in deep doo doo? We'll have to wait until the full audio tape made by the arresting officer is somehow released without the LA Police Dept's having annnnyyyyy idea how it leaked. (I can't wait!)
10) Answer=b) Come on, it's gonna ROCK! Sam Jackson's character: "I've had it with these mother-fucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!!!" This line/scene was added on after filming due to test audiences begging big Sam to say something bad-ass to the snakes. I would have had him say "Say 'What' again.", but what do I know?
=========================
10 of 10: Get a life commie!
9-5: Stop trying so hard. Watch more Fox "News". Read less.
5 or less: You pass.
===================================
FOR QUESTIONS 1-3: WHICH OF THE ANSWERS IS INCORRECT:
1) Pat Robertson should properly be addressed as:
a) Doctor
b) Reverend
c) Mr. Billionaire
d) Marion
e) not a war hero
f) (unmentionable)
2) The overthrow of Chile's President-elect Salvador Allende in 1973 (as made famous to Americans through the Hollywood movie "Missing") was engineered chiefly by the following:
a) Pepsi-Cola
b) ITT Corporation
c) Henry Kissinger
d) Anaconda Copper
e) Coca Cola Corp.
f) the CIA
3) The Exxon Valdez oil spill of 1989 and subsequent oil slick spoiling 1,200 miles of Alaskan shoreline can be attributed to:
a) the failure of the ship's radar to spot Bligh Reef....because it hadn't been turned on in the last 12 months prior to the spill due to cost cutting measures ordered by Exxon Corp.
b) Joe Hazelwood, captain of the ship, who was drunk boating and ran the Exxon Valdez into the reef.
c) Exxon Corp. apathy, as per Captain James Woodle, Valdez Port's commander, in 1984 "Due to a reduction in manning, age of equipment, limited training and lack of personnel, serious doubt exists that [we] would be able to contain and clean up effectively a medium or large size oil spill."
d) on the night of the spill, the emergency response barge, containing barriers and pumps which would have prevented much of the damage, was in dry dock, locked in ice in Valdez, though Exxon had promised to always have barges available.
PICK THE BEST ANSWER TO QUESTION 4:
4) How old was actress Stockard Channing when she played "Rizzo" in the 1978 musical "Grease"?
a) 52
b) 20
c) 16
d) 34
e) a gentleman does NOT ask a lady her age
QUESTIONS 5-8: TRUE OR FALSE:
5) Jackie Robinson was the first African-American to play professional baseball.
6) Ray Kroc, main man behind the McDonald's McWorld we live in, was once quoted as saying "We cannot trust some people who are non-conformists".
7) It is widely believed that that Bush 41's Secretary of State James Baker gave Saddam Hussein a "greenlight" to settle his long held border disputes with Kuwait, leading to Iraq's invasion, sparking the First Gulf War.
8) Mel Gibson is a "happy" drunk.
QUESTIONS 9 and 10: MULTIPLE CHOICE:
9) When drunk, does Mel Gibson yell "Do you know who I am? Do you know who I am?" at the cops arresting him?
a) yes
b) no
c) not sure, but pretty damn likely
10) "Snakes on a Plane" is gonna really, really suck.
a) yes
b) no
c) not sure, but pretty damn likely
==================================
Answer Key:
1) Answer= a) "Pat" Robertson is not an ordained Baptist minister, as of 1988. He is a "televangelist". His net worth has been valued at somewhere between $200m and a "beyond belief shitload." His real first name is Marion. He has a doctorate from something called the New York Theological Seminary, issued in 1959. Several fellow Marines, including a Congressman, have stated that Robertson used his father's pedigree as a US Senator to avoid any and all combat duties in Korea (though he claimed to have seen a good deal of action), and in the opinion of one was mostly in charge of keeping the officer's club stocked with booze.
2) Answer= e) Pepsi-Cola, ITT, and most especially Anaconda Copper (because Chile has/had vast copper resources) were American corporations pushing the US government to supply weapons/money/etc. to the anti-socialist forces in Chile led by Augusto Pinochet. Henry Kissinger ("The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer."), noted Realpolitician (meaning he screwed/killed everyone he could get away with screwing/killing) pushed hard for the overthrow because Allende's first allegience was to the people of Chile, not a certain superpower far to the north. And the CIA supplied many of the weapons, though other Western nations contributed same to Pinochet's death squads. No, Coca Cola had no involvement that I have read of.
3) Answer= b) Captain Hazelwood, though drunk, was asleep. The wheel of the Exxon Valdez was being manned by the Third Mate. All other answers contributed to the massive spill and subsequent ecological disaster. Hazelwood bears some responsibity, certainly, but was subsequently made a complete fall guy by Exxon and the powers that be.
4) Answer=c) Channing, a wonderful actress and future pretend First Lady, played the high schooler at the ripe old age of 34. If you picked e) you are wicked old.
5) False. The first pro league in the US began play in 1876, and the great Moses Fleetwood Walker became the first black man to play professionally in 1884, only to leave baseball behind five years later. Players of the day, including HOFer Cap Anson, became more and more resistant to competing with and against blacks post Reconstruction. In 1887 an agreement among International League teams' owners required that no blacks be offered contracts in the future. It took 54 years before a black man was allowed to play professioinally against whites in the most popular of American sports.
6) True.
7) True. Here's what Wikipedia has to say on the issue: "In late July, 1990, as negotiations between Iraq and Kuwait stalled, Iraq massed troops on Kuwait's borders and summoned American Ambassador April Glaspie for an unanticipated meeting with Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. Two transcripts of that meeting have been produced, both of them controversial. According to the transcripts, Saddam outlined his grievances against Kuwait, while promising that he would not invade Kuwait before one more round of negotiations. In the version published by The New York Times on September 23, 1990, Glaspie expressed concern over the troop buildup, but went on to say:
We have no opinion on the Arab-Arab conflicts, like your border disagreement with Kuwait. I was in the American Embassy in Kuwait during the late '60s. The instruction we had during this period was that we should express no opinion on this issue and that the issue is not associated with America. James Baker has directed our official spokesmen to emphasize this instruction. We hope you can solve this problem using any suitable methods via [Chadli] Klibi [then Arab League General Secretary] or via President Mubarak. All that we hope is that these issues are solved quickly."
8) False you war mongering Jew bastard, ya!!!!
Gibson was arrested for DUI in LA on Friday the 28th of July.
From TMZ.com:
According to the report, Gibson became agitated after he was stopped on Pacific Coast Highway and told he was to be detained for drunk driving Friday morning in Malibu. The actor began swearing uncontrollably. Gibson repeatedly said, "My life is f****d." TMZ.com has learned that Deputy Mee audiotaped the entire exchange between himself and Gibson, from the time of the traffic stop to the time Gibson was put in the patrol car, and that the tape fully corroborates the written report.
Once inside the car, a source directly connected with the case says Gibson began banging himself against the seat. The report says Gibson told the deputy, "You mother f****r. I'm going to f*** you." The report also says "Gibson almost continually [sic] threatened me saying he 'owns Malibu' and will spend all of his money to 'get even' with me."
The report says Gibson then launched into a barrage of anti-Semitic statements: "F*****g Jews... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world." Gibson then asked the deputy, "Are you a Jew?"
The deputy became alarmed as Gibson's tirade escalated, and called ahead for a sergeant to meet them when they arrived at the station. When they arrived, a sergeant began videotaping Gibson, who noticed the camera and then said, "What the f*** do you think you're doing?"
A law enforcement source says Gibson then noticed another female sergeant and yelled, "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?"
We're told Gibson took two blood alcohol tests, which were videotaped, and continued saying how "f****d" he was and how he was going to "f***" Deputy Mee.
Gibson was put in a cell with handcuffs on...
...Gibson then demanded to make a phone call. He was taken to a pay phone and, when he didn't get a dial tone, we're told Gibson threw the receiver against the phone. Deputy Mee then warned Gibson that if he damaged the phone he could be charged with felony vandalism. We're told Gibson was then asked, and refused, to sign the necessary paperwork and was thrown in a detox cell.
Deputy Mee then wrote an eight-page report detailing Gibson's rampage and comments. Sources say the sergeant on duty felt it was too "inflammatory." ...and on and on, etc. etc.
9) Answer=c) What celeb DOESN'T scream this when they got in deep doo doo? We'll have to wait until the full audio tape made by the arresting officer is somehow released without the LA Police Dept's having annnnyyyyy idea how it leaked. (I can't wait!)
10) Answer=b) Come on, it's gonna ROCK! Sam Jackson's character: "I've had it with these mother-fucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!!!" This line/scene was added on after filming due to test audiences begging big Sam to say something bad-ass to the snakes. I would have had him say "Say 'What' again.", but what do I know?
=========================
10 of 10: Get a life commie!
9-5: Stop trying so hard. Watch more Fox "News". Read less.
5 or less: You pass.
posted by joe sweeney at 8:21 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home