Portland Press Herald: New England Newspaper of the Year...
....as awarded by some industry financed group every year, seemingly.
The PPH is my third favorite paper, behind, obviously, the New York Times, and The Onion ("America's Finest News Source"). The NYT is the paper of record in this here land, and The Onion makes me laugh, as does the PPH.
When all three aren't making me cry.
==================================
A sampling from a recent week of the finest moments in local and national journalism, per the PPH:
1) 10/13/06 - Headline: "Jury finds Wal-Mart forced people to work off clock". The article describes a $62 million dollar verdict awarded to the 187,000 plaintiffs.
What the article fails to mention is that the per plaintiff award, pre legal bill, will be about $332 per person. Wow. That's about a 40 hour work week, pre tax, for the typical China-Mart employee. So for about one weeks pay per member of the class action suit, Wal-Mart got most likely a lot more benefit in terms of hours worked and induced fear in their workers than they paid out. That's the American way in W's America. And sure....in Clinton's, too. What the heck happened to treble damages? Or is that just in civil suits (hey, wasn't this a civil suit? I don't know.)
2) 10/8/06 - Is Anne Louise Bannon's "Family Viewing" column written by a real person?
And if so, what are they on?
This past Sunday, Miss Bannon told us that "30 Rock", Tina Fey's highly anticipated new NBC sitcom premiering 10/11 at 8:00, is "OK". She continues: "I probably liked it more than most people, but it is really uneven. (Alec) Baldwin is funny, but comes across as not too comfortable in his character's skin." Wow....again.
Hey Bannon; Alec Baldwin has made a damn good living acting like he is uncomfortable in his own skin. He was realllllly funny, in my opinion.
And "30 Rock" absolutely KILLED. It is one of the best new shows this season, right up there with "U--y Betty". What exactly have you been smoking/snorting/freebasing prior to writing this awful, laughable column, Miss Bannon? Two weeks ago you told us that Donnie Wahlberg's show or movie was family viewing. I recall a picture of Wahlberg pointing a gun right at my face with his usual blank expression of contempt. Laughable.
Your column sucks. Why does the PPH run it?
3) 10/13/06 - Headline: "Foley's aide says he told of concerns".
Should have been titled "The buck stops (near) here", because Dennis Hastert's chief of staff claims that Foley's aide is lying: "What Kirk Fordham said did not happen." So don't expect the House Speaker to resign unless there is a videotape of him being explicitly told by Fordham or someone that Foley was trying to have sex with with underage pages. Otherwise, the "buck" won't be stopping at Hastert's doorstep. What a typical political hack.
4) 10/12/06 - Headline: "Alzheimer's study finds antipsychotic drugs help little"
Well, damn, I could have told you that....that....
.....what was I writing about?.....
Oh, yeah, drugs and alzheimer's. In a recent study on the efficacy of such antipsychotics as Zyprexa, Seroquel and Risperdal, 82% of 421 patients involved "quit their medications....because of side effects, such as drowsiness, weight gain and confusion." AND THESE WERE ALZHEIMER'S PATIENTS, for christ sakes.
Listen up world. The psychiatric community has built itself quite a house of cards. Their drugs don't work but make millions (did I say millions..hah, that's funny. many billions) for the companies that buy all those (or at least bought those) free vacations for the docs and free pens for the patients.
Personal example: A resident of Apartment404 was told yesterday by an actual DO that I...I mean, he/she.... has restless leg syndrome. This is likely the cause of many a sleepless or sleep deprived night for....him/her. So I need to take yet...god damn it....he/she needs to take another drug to combat the effects of the antipsychotic I'm already taking..... which likely is causing the restless leg syndrome. (Does that make any sense?)
I think I'll just stop taking the first drug and hopefully not have to rent an extra room to house my....er....their...medicine cabinet.
Yeah that's what....he/she.... will be doing, I mean.
===============================
So, even after this review, I will continue to read the fine local paper.
Love those wedding announcements on Sundays: I read them so I can feel like more of a loser.
And they really do have a decent local sports page. And they run Doonesbury in the comics where it belongs.
No the PPH ain't all bad. Just sometimes.
The PPH is my third favorite paper, behind, obviously, the New York Times, and The Onion ("America's Finest News Source"). The NYT is the paper of record in this here land, and The Onion makes me laugh, as does the PPH.
When all three aren't making me cry.
==================================
A sampling from a recent week of the finest moments in local and national journalism, per the PPH:
1) 10/13/06 - Headline: "Jury finds Wal-Mart forced people to work off clock". The article describes a $62 million dollar verdict awarded to the 187,000 plaintiffs.
What the article fails to mention is that the per plaintiff award, pre legal bill, will be about $332 per person. Wow. That's about a 40 hour work week, pre tax, for the typical China-Mart employee. So for about one weeks pay per member of the class action suit, Wal-Mart got most likely a lot more benefit in terms of hours worked and induced fear in their workers than they paid out. That's the American way in W's America. And sure....in Clinton's, too. What the heck happened to treble damages? Or is that just in civil suits (hey, wasn't this a civil suit? I don't know.)
2) 10/8/06 - Is Anne Louise Bannon's "Family Viewing" column written by a real person?
And if so, what are they on?
This past Sunday, Miss Bannon told us that "30 Rock", Tina Fey's highly anticipated new NBC sitcom premiering 10/11 at 8:00, is "OK". She continues: "I probably liked it more than most people, but it is really uneven. (Alec) Baldwin is funny, but comes across as not too comfortable in his character's skin." Wow....again.
Hey Bannon; Alec Baldwin has made a damn good living acting like he is uncomfortable in his own skin. He was realllllly funny, in my opinion.
And "30 Rock" absolutely KILLED. It is one of the best new shows this season, right up there with "U--y Betty". What exactly have you been smoking/snorting/freebasing prior to writing this awful, laughable column, Miss Bannon? Two weeks ago you told us that Donnie Wahlberg's show or movie was family viewing. I recall a picture of Wahlberg pointing a gun right at my face with his usual blank expression of contempt. Laughable.
Your column sucks. Why does the PPH run it?
3) 10/13/06 - Headline: "Foley's aide says he told of concerns".
Should have been titled "The buck stops (near) here", because Dennis Hastert's chief of staff claims that Foley's aide is lying: "What Kirk Fordham said did not happen." So don't expect the House Speaker to resign unless there is a videotape of him being explicitly told by Fordham or someone that Foley was trying to have sex with with underage pages. Otherwise, the "buck" won't be stopping at Hastert's doorstep. What a typical political hack.
4) 10/12/06 - Headline: "Alzheimer's study finds antipsychotic drugs help little"
Well, damn, I could have told you that....that....
.....what was I writing about?.....
Oh, yeah, drugs and alzheimer's. In a recent study on the efficacy of such antipsychotics as Zyprexa, Seroquel and Risperdal, 82% of 421 patients involved "quit their medications....because of side effects, such as drowsiness, weight gain and confusion." AND THESE WERE ALZHEIMER'S PATIENTS, for christ sakes.
Listen up world. The psychiatric community has built itself quite a house of cards. Their drugs don't work but make millions (did I say millions..hah, that's funny. many billions) for the companies that buy all those (or at least bought those) free vacations for the docs and free pens for the patients.
Personal example: A resident of Apartment404 was told yesterday by an actual DO that I...I mean, he/she.... has restless leg syndrome. This is likely the cause of many a sleepless or sleep deprived night for....him/her. So I need to take yet...god damn it....he/she needs to take another drug to combat the effects of the antipsychotic I'm already taking..... which likely is causing the restless leg syndrome. (Does that make any sense?)
I think I'll just stop taking the first drug and hopefully not have to rent an extra room to house my....er....their...medicine cabinet.
Yeah that's what....he/she.... will be doing, I mean.
===============================
So, even after this review, I will continue to read the fine local paper.
Love those wedding announcements on Sundays: I read them so I can feel like more of a loser.
And they really do have a decent local sports page. And they run Doonesbury in the comics where it belongs.
No the PPH ain't all bad. Just sometimes.
posted by joe sweeney at 10:22 AM
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