Honestly

I haven't touched a woman in six years
And think about it constantly
The first three years
I was basically alone
With only (what turned out to be) fantasies
To keep me going

The next, last three years have been harder
Because I've been sane
And aware of the loneliness
That creeps up so often

Without those past crazy, thrilling ideas
That my doctor was leaving with me
Or that famous people wanted me
Or Laurel was going to come for me
I am left with what I have now
Which is nothing
But my own head

When I speak to someone I want
What am I supposed to think
What am I supposed to do
To change this empty life

I don't want to go another six years
In between