The Shaq Power Show
Five days a week on XM
Spinning, bullshitting, horsing around, saying what's funny and maybe even what needs to be said
(Shaq's a workhorse and a funny fuck. He needs a job, too)
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Annnnnnnnnnd we're back on the Shaq Power Show! This is Shaq. How yall doin' today? Me? I'm 7 foot 1, bangin', and a gift from God to you people.
Have any of you little folks seen a more beautiful sight than Shaq in his leather chaps riding a big fucking custom Harley down the middle of the highway? No, you haven't. Youtube me, I'm awesome.
Alright, first record I'm gonna play is from a new group. "The Young Philadelphians." They're hot, they're young and talented and they're what I want to play. So fuck it, let's go."
(the song is called "Boston Can Go Jump In The River." Pretty good but not great)
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd we're back to the Shaq Power Show! This is Shaq. How dat sound to yall? Pretty fucking fresh, if Shaq does say so. And he do. He do. Our guest today is Ron Harper, my old Laker teammate and now a motivational speaker for the University of Louisville. How't is, Harp?"
Good, Shaq. Good.
That's awesome, Harp! Those five rings still shiny?
Yeah, man. Damn shiny, Shaq.
Cool, young man. You know Harp, if you hadn't blown out your knee yall might have spend your whole fucking career playing for the damn Clippers. You even think about that, dude?
Shit, that's true.
The Clippers suck ass, Ronnie. You was lucky to bust that knee up. Let you play with MJ and Scottie. And me.
Cool. We were bad. No regrets.
Damn right. Rings talk and bullshit walks, mutherfucker. You alright, Ron Ron. Glad we got to play together.
Me too, Shaq. Me too.
Alright. Commercial time on the Shaq Power Show. Here's a word from our sponser, John Wall Carwash and Leather Emporium...
(commercial runs: "Hey DC. This here is John Wall. I have a chain of the very best in carwashes in the city. Ten bucks and we'll wash it, shine it, put gas in it, and buy you some groceries. Sound like a good deal? Fuck yeah. John Wall knows carwashes. We can't miss! jingle runs)
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd we're back! Shaq Power Hour, Hour 2. This is Shaq. Let's continue, shall we? We shall.
(it kinda goes on like this. you get the idea. Shaq has a face for radio. He'd be great at it.
Future shows:
Coach Dale Brown, Stanley Roberts, and Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf: Why we choked
Swept: The story of the '96 Orlando Magic
Acting Without Acting. Featuring Jason Alexander, Larry David, and Shaq. A wide ranging discussion of all things acting
Where's My Oscar?: Shaq pontificates on the state of movies and why they were better 15 years ago
Spinning, bullshitting, horsing around, saying what's funny and maybe even what needs to be said
(Shaq's a workhorse and a funny fuck. He needs a job, too)
================
Annnnnnnnnnd we're back on the Shaq Power Show! This is Shaq. How yall doin' today? Me? I'm 7 foot 1, bangin', and a gift from God to you people.
Have any of you little folks seen a more beautiful sight than Shaq in his leather chaps riding a big fucking custom Harley down the middle of the highway? No, you haven't. Youtube me, I'm awesome.
Alright, first record I'm gonna play is from a new group. "The Young Philadelphians." They're hot, they're young and talented and they're what I want to play. So fuck it, let's go."
(the song is called "Boston Can Go Jump In The River." Pretty good but not great)
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd we're back to the Shaq Power Show! This is Shaq. How dat sound to yall? Pretty fucking fresh, if Shaq does say so. And he do. He do. Our guest today is Ron Harper, my old Laker teammate and now a motivational speaker for the University of Louisville. How't is, Harp?"
Good, Shaq. Good.
That's awesome, Harp! Those five rings still shiny?
Yeah, man. Damn shiny, Shaq.
Cool, young man. You know Harp, if you hadn't blown out your knee yall might have spend your whole fucking career playing for the damn Clippers. You even think about that, dude?
Shit, that's true.
The Clippers suck ass, Ronnie. You was lucky to bust that knee up. Let you play with MJ and Scottie. And me.
Cool. We were bad. No regrets.
Damn right. Rings talk and bullshit walks, mutherfucker. You alright, Ron Ron. Glad we got to play together.
Me too, Shaq. Me too.
Alright. Commercial time on the Shaq Power Show. Here's a word from our sponser, John Wall Carwash and Leather Emporium...
(commercial runs: "Hey DC. This here is John Wall. I have a chain of the very best in carwashes in the city. Ten bucks and we'll wash it, shine it, put gas in it, and buy you some groceries. Sound like a good deal? Fuck yeah. John Wall knows carwashes. We can't miss! jingle runs)
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd we're back! Shaq Power Hour, Hour 2. This is Shaq. Let's continue, shall we? We shall.
(it kinda goes on like this. you get the idea. Shaq has a face for radio. He'd be great at it.
Future shows:
Coach Dale Brown, Stanley Roberts, and Mahmoud Abdul-Rauf: Why we choked
Swept: The story of the '96 Orlando Magic
Acting Without Acting. Featuring Jason Alexander, Larry David, and Shaq. A wide ranging discussion of all things acting
Where's My Oscar?: Shaq pontificates on the state of movies and why they were better 15 years ago
posted by joe sweeney at 8:13 AM
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