Noted while waiting for the light to turn green in Wiscasset this afternoon.....
........what?
........there's no traffic lights in Wiscasset?
........shit, probably just a really tall guy in a red t-shirt, just standing the fuck around.
........damn it......why does this always happen to me??
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When clerks hum or whistle while serving/waiting on you, they are plotting. By whistling/humming, they are trying to get you to THINK that they are simply doing their work, but they are plotting. You can be sure of that.
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Bullies never NEVER have a sense of humor. You can't be a bully and have one. You can be a non-bully, and have one. Or not. It depends. But if you ARE ONE, you can't. You can be sure of that. The things you find funny are not funny, and the things you think are weird might be funny....you'd have to ask someone who actually has a sense of humor.
Proof of this is in the national news. Ann Coulter's idea of "humor" is saying she wants to poison one of the members of the US Supreme Court. This, as Al Franken has helpfully (but needlessly) pointed out extensively on his blog, is not "humor". It's what someone says that has no concept of what constitutes a joke. Hopefully the allegations that she stole a bunch of her columns and books, or at least portions, from other writers (you mean there's other people who write the same sort of shit she does? wow.) will send her straight to media nowheresville. Because making a joke about killing a USSC justice is not nearly as important than stealing someone else's shitty column.
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A day or two ago, I took a shot in this space at "Everybody Loves Raymond". Now, I have never sat through more than five, maybe ten, minutes of this sitcom. But I do know a bit about the show, and have a few reasons why it sucks. Here goes:
1) Where the hell are those kids? Don't Raymond and his wife have some kids? What the hell kind of a supposed comedy has the kids locked in the basement for most if not all of the 23 minutes of airtime everyweek? Do they have a nanny? Are the kids deformed in some way that makes them unpleasant to look at, except when brought out for comedic situations. I don't know, but I always wonder (for the millisecond that I am tuned to it).
"The Cosby Show" would probably have not been the (just about) most popular and best television show ever made if the kids weren't included. Or locked in the basement. I thought kids are usually pretty funny, often (when acting) without trying (check out Groucho's old show). But hey, Ray Romano made tens of millions of dollars on this gig, so he must know something. And that's really all that matters; that he made a bunch of money.
2) The bickering. Mostly between the grandparents. A man and wife arguing is, to me, usually lacking in yucks, no matter what the ages. People think that "All in the Family" and "The Honeymooners" were based on this stuff. They weren't. There is nothing comedic about a male and a female arguing, in almost every case. Too much of a gap in power. Too much history in our society of imbalance between the genders that continues. It hasn't even been a century since women were given the right to vote.
The funny stuff on "All in the Family" came from Archie reacting to a world gone wrong. He wanted to arm the passengers to prevent ski-jackings, and went on television to promote the idea. Funny. Telling his wife to shutup/"stiffle"? Not funny. And the one time Edith told Archie to stiffle, it was NOT funny. It was shocking and empowering, but not funny.
Archie's putdowns of his wife were just a way of moving the plot along and establishing the charactors. And "The Honeymooners" was made in an era when abuse was sort of acceptable. A way for a husband to establish he ran the household. This is the reason that to watch an episode is to wince when Gleason threatens to punch his wife. Maybe funny in the '50's. Not today.
On one of the commercials promoting "ELR", there's a short clip of Peter Boyle and Doris Roberts going at it at the dinner table. Something like "don't talk with your mouth full!" followed by "don't talk with your mouth open!". This is funny? This is what someone would tape record if they sat under a table at McDonalds for a week; people with no wit yelling at each other. My favorite show, "Seinfeld", had a pair of bickering marrieds; George's parents. To me, they were the weakest charactors on the show when they were left alone to yell at each other. Frank had his moments with Festivus and selling computers out of the garage. But you can keep the bickering, if you ask me.
3) Ray Romano. His voice never changes inflection, ever. The same slow drawl, meant to be playful I suppose. Jesus, he's not only playing himself, he plays himself with only one mood. The "let's lie to my wife about going golfing" voice. Jerry Seinfeld was smart enough to surround himself with real ACTORS, especially Jason Alexander, on "Seinfeld". But even then, Seinfeld was enough of a sport to play different situations, such as moving into Kramer's apartment and becoming a LOT like Kramer. God, Ray Romano is not, and never will be funny. Ever.
Three good reasons why, at 7:00pm, when TBS ends its hour of "Seinfeld" and starts an hour of "ELR" I am REQUIRED to change the channel before that damned annoying whiny voice comes on. If I listen to more than three or four seconds of the bickering, I am in a bad mood the rest of the night.
Not that I wasn't in a bad mood to begin with, usually.
........there's no traffic lights in Wiscasset?
........shit, probably just a really tall guy in a red t-shirt, just standing the fuck around.
........damn it......why does this always happen to me??
----------------------------------------------
When clerks hum or whistle while serving/waiting on you, they are plotting. By whistling/humming, they are trying to get you to THINK that they are simply doing their work, but they are plotting. You can be sure of that.
----------------------------------------------
Bullies never NEVER have a sense of humor. You can't be a bully and have one. You can be a non-bully, and have one. Or not. It depends. But if you ARE ONE, you can't. You can be sure of that. The things you find funny are not funny, and the things you think are weird might be funny....you'd have to ask someone who actually has a sense of humor.
Proof of this is in the national news. Ann Coulter's idea of "humor" is saying she wants to poison one of the members of the US Supreme Court. This, as Al Franken has helpfully (but needlessly) pointed out extensively on his blog, is not "humor". It's what someone says that has no concept of what constitutes a joke. Hopefully the allegations that she stole a bunch of her columns and books, or at least portions, from other writers (you mean there's other people who write the same sort of shit she does? wow.) will send her straight to media nowheresville. Because making a joke about killing a USSC justice is not nearly as important than stealing someone else's shitty column.
----------------------------------------------
A day or two ago, I took a shot in this space at "Everybody Loves Raymond". Now, I have never sat through more than five, maybe ten, minutes of this sitcom. But I do know a bit about the show, and have a few reasons why it sucks. Here goes:
1) Where the hell are those kids? Don't Raymond and his wife have some kids? What the hell kind of a supposed comedy has the kids locked in the basement for most if not all of the 23 minutes of airtime everyweek? Do they have a nanny? Are the kids deformed in some way that makes them unpleasant to look at, except when brought out for comedic situations. I don't know, but I always wonder (for the millisecond that I am tuned to it).
"The Cosby Show" would probably have not been the (just about) most popular and best television show ever made if the kids weren't included. Or locked in the basement. I thought kids are usually pretty funny, often (when acting) without trying (check out Groucho's old show). But hey, Ray Romano made tens of millions of dollars on this gig, so he must know something. And that's really all that matters; that he made a bunch of money.
2) The bickering. Mostly between the grandparents. A man and wife arguing is, to me, usually lacking in yucks, no matter what the ages. People think that "All in the Family" and "The Honeymooners" were based on this stuff. They weren't. There is nothing comedic about a male and a female arguing, in almost every case. Too much of a gap in power. Too much history in our society of imbalance between the genders that continues. It hasn't even been a century since women were given the right to vote.
The funny stuff on "All in the Family" came from Archie reacting to a world gone wrong. He wanted to arm the passengers to prevent ski-jackings, and went on television to promote the idea. Funny. Telling his wife to shutup/"stiffle"? Not funny. And the one time Edith told Archie to stiffle, it was NOT funny. It was shocking and empowering, but not funny.
Archie's putdowns of his wife were just a way of moving the plot along and establishing the charactors. And "The Honeymooners" was made in an era when abuse was sort of acceptable. A way for a husband to establish he ran the household. This is the reason that to watch an episode is to wince when Gleason threatens to punch his wife. Maybe funny in the '50's. Not today.
On one of the commercials promoting "ELR", there's a short clip of Peter Boyle and Doris Roberts going at it at the dinner table. Something like "don't talk with your mouth full!" followed by "don't talk with your mouth open!". This is funny? This is what someone would tape record if they sat under a table at McDonalds for a week; people with no wit yelling at each other. My favorite show, "Seinfeld", had a pair of bickering marrieds; George's parents. To me, they were the weakest charactors on the show when they were left alone to yell at each other. Frank had his moments with Festivus and selling computers out of the garage. But you can keep the bickering, if you ask me.
3) Ray Romano. His voice never changes inflection, ever. The same slow drawl, meant to be playful I suppose. Jesus, he's not only playing himself, he plays himself with only one mood. The "let's lie to my wife about going golfing" voice. Jerry Seinfeld was smart enough to surround himself with real ACTORS, especially Jason Alexander, on "Seinfeld". But even then, Seinfeld was enough of a sport to play different situations, such as moving into Kramer's apartment and becoming a LOT like Kramer. God, Ray Romano is not, and never will be funny. Ever.
Three good reasons why, at 7:00pm, when TBS ends its hour of "Seinfeld" and starts an hour of "ELR" I am REQUIRED to change the channel before that damned annoying whiny voice comes on. If I listen to more than three or four seconds of the bickering, I am in a bad mood the rest of the night.
Not that I wasn't in a bad mood to begin with, usually.
posted by joe sweeney at 5:45 PM
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