What are my Qualifications?

I am a good guy, a truly good guy
And
It is not in me to ever be mean
(Maybe angry but never mean)

I'm friendly to pretty much everyone
Then sink bank into the "keep to myself" role I like
Once I get to know you

I love women
(The tall ones with their athletic legs and long hair
The perfect ones that don't know they're perfect
The short ones that will fight you for every last inch
And are adorably cute
Every inch of all their bodies is sacred
Especially the middle parts
Like their bellies, their hips, their butts
Small breasts are wonderful
Large ones fun to play with
Yes, there's a lot to like in a woman's body)

I take care of myself
Through exercise and plenty of sleep
Never really smoked
Drank a lot but gave it up three years ago
Never, ever drugged
Thankfully (as I would have been dead by now, certainly)
I look younger, I think, than my almost forty five years would suggest
A big dude, I carry my weight well
I read a ton of books and magazines, so I know everything there is to know
(Seemingly)

That reminds me: I am really, really funny
(Though not when I write, disappointingly)
I smile a lot these days
And am physically playful and affectionate
Love children completely
Am a good communicator
Rigorously honest always

Only been arrested once
(That arrest has been chronicled in this blog quite a bit)
And did I mention I'm a hell of a guy?

Is that enough to interest anybody?

Oh yeah
One disclaimer
I only have about $1,600 a month to spend
And a quarter of that goes to rent
So yeah,
I'm wicked broke

But still
A heck of a guy