Duende
As yet another woman has turned me down (I am NOT too old for you if that's what you're thinking, L-----!!), I find myself with tons of free time. And seeing as how I'm still having problems with auditory hallucinations, I won't be anyone's cubicle mate in the near future. So I'll just write some shit down that's been on my mind today.
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A long ago Boston Globe columnist by the name of George Frazier popularized, in the Boston region anyway, the term "duende" (pronouned with three syllables: du-en-de). It means, loosely, to possess a combination of authenticity and attractiveness. I first came upon the term in a Globe column written by Ray Fitzgerald in the 1970s, when I was a boy growing up in New Hampshire.
Who has duende?
Bob Cousy, Doug Flutie, and Yogi Berra have TONS of duende. Tons. They are the Holy Trinity of duende in the sporting world to my mind.
The Cooz is so cool that, during the filming of the 1994 movie "Blue Chips" they had to stop shooting his big scene with Nick Nolte because it called for Cooz to miss a free throw. And he couldn't. He just kept making them and making them, screwing up the scene, because it was not in Bob Cousy's DNA to ever intentionally miss. He is greatly missed on Celtics broadcasts ("Beautiful!").
Flutie was God when he went to Boston College back in the early 80s, and he has built up a steady buildup of additional duende ever since by remaining married to his high school sweetheart and living a very cool life. And has any late 40s aged (non-actor) ever looked better than Dougie? Ever? He's still smokin'.
Yogi is one of the most duende people, not just in sports, not just living, but in the history of the country. Seriously. He's duende more than anyone I can think of. Yogi is the greatest catcher ever, one of the funniest as well as kindest men in the world, and was man enough to tell Steinbrenner to go fuck himself for a decade and a half. Duende.
You might say that Tom Brady, Derek Jeter, and Peyton Manning have duende. I disagree. They are too fucking rich. When you're an athlete and you have more than $100m in the bank you forfeit your right to duende forever. As much as those three are living legends, Hall of Famers, etc, they are too powerful now. They can't get away with anything for fear of losing their endorsements. That ain't duende.
I don't think it's possible to be a sports franchise owner and also have duende. (People have to be too careful with the press in those jobs, among other things.) Look at Mark Cuban. He's a total dork. Wears old t-shirts to games. No duende in that. Most other folks can get away with wearing t-shirts to games, but not if they sit in the front row, unless they're a well known actor at a Lakers or Knicks game, in which case they better wear something crappy like jeans and a t or they'll look like a Will Smith-type overdressed sellout. Duende can be quite the bitch to figure out.
As far as Cuban, I remember a magazine spread a few years back that showed pictures of the enormous mansion he lived in. It had no furniture. None. He played wiffleball with his lackeys in the living room. Dorky. And not duende: If you own a beautiful home, set it up nice or get someone to do it for you. Don't be the asshole in "The Boiler Room" with a multi-million dollar house and nothing inside. Any woman who would go out with THAT guy doesn't know her duende from her tits.
Another owner, Bob Kraft of the Patriots, is really as close to duende as sports moguls go, but he is a short guy, and it's tough for folks under 5-9 to have duende. That's largely the reason Tom Cruise doesn't have duende: Too short. Cruise has everything else (You can be rich and have duende, but you can't be rich from sports.), though he's making bad choices in movies lately. That's not very duende, but not a killer. To give you an example of a rich actor with duende, take Brad Pitt. He's duende all over, even after all these years. He makes good choices in taking roles in movies, with enough actory, good stuff to make up for the occasional crap. He's tall and built. He doesn't pretend to have all the answers. He changes his hairstyle all the time (very duende).
Someone you might not think of having duende but does in spades is Ron Howard. He treats people nicely, has made some really good movies, has dealt with his fame very well. Total duende. Majorly underrated duende guy, in fact.
Okay. Women with duende. That gets harder, since I'm not a woman and will be leaning towards sexually attractive women, which is only part of duende. How about Halle Berry? Doesn't make too much noise, is a fashion icon, looks incredible at 45. She has made bad choices in her love life, but that can be kind of duende in a way. Gives us losers a chance at someone cool, I think.
Jennifer Aniston gets duende points just off her starring role in 2006's "The Break Up." I don't recall a woman looking sexier than JA did in that movie. Ever. No one can touch her in that role, playing off Vince Vaughn and stealing all their scenes. It will be interesting to see if she keeps her duende as she moves closer to 50.
It's clearly hard for a woman, I think, to be duende once they hit middle age for various reasons, but it can be done. Of course, Meryl Streep duendes, but she is barely human she's so amazing. Anyone who pretends to care about the average person in the world but makes every one of their employees sign air tight non-disclosure forms is not duende, so Oprah is out. Sofia Coppola used to duende seriously when she was making great movies, but not so much now. Kate Bosworth must be duende, for reasons I don't understand, because she is in every fashion magazine I subscribe to yet hasn't made a movie since "Blue Crush" nine years ago. Tina Fey does not have duende because she tries so hard to make us believe that she doesn't believe that she has duende, even though we know that she really does, or at least would if she just eased up. Does that make sense? Amy Sedaris duendes pretty good. She is David Letterman's present day Teri Garr, though no one can replace the irreplaceable. (If you've never seen Teri Garr's many, many sexy and duende Letterman appearances you should YouTube them. Here's one.) People seem to think that Marilyn Monroe had serious duende, but I've read a little bit of her diary that (I think) "Vanity Fair" published, and she was not that bright. Which is huge for duende purposes.
That's just a few duende ladies. There's plenty more. They pretty much know if they are duende. Because in life, if you don't think you're duende, you're probably not. Though if you're 1000% beyond belief sure you ARE, you aren't. It's funny that way.
I know I've only talked about famous people to this point, but I see plenty of folks who have some duende that don't get pub. The bartender Tuesday night at the Baseball Tavern in Boston, who wasn't too busy to talk about the Sox with me despite having a shitload of customers pregame. H---- on the second floor of my building, who loved the Yankees until they "fired" Torre and loves to read. My psychiatrist, believe it or not. Tammi at UPS in South Portland, who makes me feel like all those packages I get from Amazon are tenderly cared for, and have been for years. Those kind of people are duende, at least for me.
-------------
-------------
A long ago Boston Globe columnist by the name of George Frazier popularized, in the Boston region anyway, the term "duende" (pronouned with three syllables: du-en-de). It means, loosely, to possess a combination of authenticity and attractiveness. I first came upon the term in a Globe column written by Ray Fitzgerald in the 1970s, when I was a boy growing up in New Hampshire.
Who has duende?
Bob Cousy, Doug Flutie, and Yogi Berra have TONS of duende. Tons. They are the Holy Trinity of duende in the sporting world to my mind.
The Cooz is so cool that, during the filming of the 1994 movie "Blue Chips" they had to stop shooting his big scene with Nick Nolte because it called for Cooz to miss a free throw. And he couldn't. He just kept making them and making them, screwing up the scene, because it was not in Bob Cousy's DNA to ever intentionally miss. He is greatly missed on Celtics broadcasts ("Beautiful!").
Flutie was God when he went to Boston College back in the early 80s, and he has built up a steady buildup of additional duende ever since by remaining married to his high school sweetheart and living a very cool life. And has any late 40s aged (non-actor) ever looked better than Dougie? Ever? He's still smokin'.
Yogi is one of the most duende people, not just in sports, not just living, but in the history of the country. Seriously. He's duende more than anyone I can think of. Yogi is the greatest catcher ever, one of the funniest as well as kindest men in the world, and was man enough to tell Steinbrenner to go fuck himself for a decade and a half. Duende.
You might say that Tom Brady, Derek Jeter, and Peyton Manning have duende. I disagree. They are too fucking rich. When you're an athlete and you have more than $100m in the bank you forfeit your right to duende forever. As much as those three are living legends, Hall of Famers, etc, they are too powerful now. They can't get away with anything for fear of losing their endorsements. That ain't duende.
I don't think it's possible to be a sports franchise owner and also have duende. (People have to be too careful with the press in those jobs, among other things.) Look at Mark Cuban. He's a total dork. Wears old t-shirts to games. No duende in that. Most other folks can get away with wearing t-shirts to games, but not if they sit in the front row, unless they're a well known actor at a Lakers or Knicks game, in which case they better wear something crappy like jeans and a t or they'll look like a Will Smith-type overdressed sellout. Duende can be quite the bitch to figure out.
As far as Cuban, I remember a magazine spread a few years back that showed pictures of the enormous mansion he lived in. It had no furniture. None. He played wiffleball with his lackeys in the living room. Dorky. And not duende: If you own a beautiful home, set it up nice or get someone to do it for you. Don't be the asshole in "The Boiler Room" with a multi-million dollar house and nothing inside. Any woman who would go out with THAT guy doesn't know her duende from her tits.
Another owner, Bob Kraft of the Patriots, is really as close to duende as sports moguls go, but he is a short guy, and it's tough for folks under 5-9 to have duende. That's largely the reason Tom Cruise doesn't have duende: Too short. Cruise has everything else (You can be rich and have duende, but you can't be rich from sports.), though he's making bad choices in movies lately. That's not very duende, but not a killer. To give you an example of a rich actor with duende, take Brad Pitt. He's duende all over, even after all these years. He makes good choices in taking roles in movies, with enough actory, good stuff to make up for the occasional crap. He's tall and built. He doesn't pretend to have all the answers. He changes his hairstyle all the time (very duende).
Someone you might not think of having duende but does in spades is Ron Howard. He treats people nicely, has made some really good movies, has dealt with his fame very well. Total duende. Majorly underrated duende guy, in fact.
Okay. Women with duende. That gets harder, since I'm not a woman and will be leaning towards sexually attractive women, which is only part of duende. How about Halle Berry? Doesn't make too much noise, is a fashion icon, looks incredible at 45. She has made bad choices in her love life, but that can be kind of duende in a way. Gives us losers a chance at someone cool, I think.
Jennifer Aniston gets duende points just off her starring role in 2006's "The Break Up." I don't recall a woman looking sexier than JA did in that movie. Ever. No one can touch her in that role, playing off Vince Vaughn and stealing all their scenes. It will be interesting to see if she keeps her duende as she moves closer to 50.
It's clearly hard for a woman, I think, to be duende once they hit middle age for various reasons, but it can be done. Of course, Meryl Streep duendes, but she is barely human she's so amazing. Anyone who pretends to care about the average person in the world but makes every one of their employees sign air tight non-disclosure forms is not duende, so Oprah is out. Sofia Coppola used to duende seriously when she was making great movies, but not so much now. Kate Bosworth must be duende, for reasons I don't understand, because she is in every fashion magazine I subscribe to yet hasn't made a movie since "Blue Crush" nine years ago. Tina Fey does not have duende because she tries so hard to make us believe that she doesn't believe that she has duende, even though we know that she really does, or at least would if she just eased up. Does that make sense? Amy Sedaris duendes pretty good. She is David Letterman's present day Teri Garr, though no one can replace the irreplaceable. (If you've never seen Teri Garr's many, many sexy and duende Letterman appearances you should YouTube them. Here's one.) People seem to think that Marilyn Monroe had serious duende, but I've read a little bit of her diary that (I think) "Vanity Fair" published, and she was not that bright. Which is huge for duende purposes.
That's just a few duende ladies. There's plenty more. They pretty much know if they are duende. Because in life, if you don't think you're duende, you're probably not. Though if you're 1000% beyond belief sure you ARE, you aren't. It's funny that way.
I know I've only talked about famous people to this point, but I see plenty of folks who have some duende that don't get pub. The bartender Tuesday night at the Baseball Tavern in Boston, who wasn't too busy to talk about the Sox with me despite having a shitload of customers pregame. H---- on the second floor of my building, who loved the Yankees until they "fired" Torre and loves to read. My psychiatrist, believe it or not. Tammi at UPS in South Portland, who makes me feel like all those packages I get from Amazon are tenderly cared for, and have been for years. Those kind of people are duende, at least for me.
posted by joe sweeney at 4:53 PM
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