The NFL Draft: We Know Nothing

One of the greatest quotes I've ever heard comes from Academy Award winning screenwriter and novelist William Goldman, who famously said of Hollywood, "No one knows anything." You can apply that to most things in life.

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The staff here at The 'Pent love NFL Draft talk as much as anyone. Google "mock NFL drafts 2011" and you'll see dozens, if not hundreds, of mocked up first, second, and sometimes entire drafts. This is an enjoyable past time for football fans following the Super Bowl and prior to the actual selections in April. But seriously, we know nothing about who's going to be a good football player and who is going to be a big bust.

Want proof? Look at our own New England Patriots. The best team in football last year (regardless of who won the playoff one and done tournament) had a starting backfield made up of a sixth rounder and two undrafted free agents. The teams in the NFL put as much work into who they take in the later rounds as who is selected in the first round, the sexy picks.

So don't fret if the Pats don't take whomever you have your heart set on come draft day. They know what they're doing. We don't.

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Further: One of the main components of the NFL labor negotiations is an attempt at a rookie wage scale, so that teams actually WANT to pick in the top ten. As it stands now most clubs would rather have multiple selection in the later stages of the first and in the second rounds than take a chance on sinking $50m into the next Ryan Leaf or Akili Smith. We here are not sure how the rookies are allowed to demand such outrageous salaries if they are lucky enough to be picked early on, but any rational study of recent drafts shows that teams drafting in the top ten get saddled with expensive busts more than they get value for their money. Example: Detriot Lions (the Clippers of the league) are always in the top ten. The Pats haven't had an early pick since, if memory serves, Richard Seymour, and they hit that one out of the park.

A Lack Of Trust

Standing in the checkout line at the Forest Avenue Hannaford's
I saw P approaching with his young son
P was new to the program and seemed nice but somehow vaguely distant in my view.
But he was bright, friendly, and coherent, so he stuck out among the other newbies.
"Hi Paul!" I offered with a smile.
He looked at me and gave me back a weak "Hey" and seemed put off at the sight of me.
My instincts fired and I sensed rejection.

He walked to the checkout aisle fifteen feet away with his son at his heels.
A post was between us and I couldn't see him from where I was standing.
"That guy's in the program. He's creepy. Never had to work for anything."
"I have no respect for people like that who let the rest of the world do all the work."
"He's a loser and I can't stand him."
How could P be speaking to his child about me in such an aggressive way? Had I done anything to provoke this attack?
I paid for my groceries and walked away in shock, past where I could see P and the boy again and out to my car.
Why had he been so cruel? What is wrong with a person who would say such callous things about a stranger to a young boy?

Arriving home, I tried to piece together the puzzle. P had been nothing but nice to me
But I am always wary of strangers, especially males.
I had heard what he said to his son but couldn't see him because of the post.
Could it have been a hallucination? Another trick played on me by my mind?
The problem with hearing voices and being optimistic is that I keep expecting them to go away
And that the next time whatever I hear will BE REAL.

My only conclusion weeks later, after getting to know P better is that he didn't say those awful things about me.
He and his boy were most likely in a hurry and he didn't feel like talking
Or possibly he is as shy around new people as I am.

The belief that the next time, the next voice, will BE REAL is one of the hallmarks of my disease.

Jeff Green Gets #8 Uni From Cs

The Celtics are obviously expecting great things from their new acquisition, 24 year old Jeff Green: They've awarded him uniform number 8, previously worn by ten prior Cs, most notably Antoine Walker, Al Jefferson, and Scott Wedman.

When you've retired as many numbers as the Celtics have giving someone a prime number like 8 means they expect him to play his butt off. I expect the same.

Whispers to Shouts

My apartment, The 'Pent, was once a wonderful place to interact
With all the people I loved and admired.
They spoke to me through the cameras/microphones in the sprinkler heads above
Watching my every move, every shower, every masturbation
And admiring.

My lovely psychiatrist, with the runner's body and kind smile, was madly in love with me
And wanted to move quickly down to the Berkshires
Once she got a divorce from her surgeon and we settled on a house.
She told me so through the sprinkler. It's true.
And Tina Fey wanted to hire me for her new show "30 Rock"
"Don't worry" she explained, "All writers are weird", so she knew I'd fit right in down there in Manhattan.
Al Franken once told me, direct,
That "If the internet is the most important communication device and (I) was the most important voice on the internet,
Then it stood to reason that (I) was the most important person on the planet."
His words, not mine.

And I was shining.
This is 2006 and early 2007, the height of my drinking days.
President Bush was in Kennebunkport for a family member's wedding one of those summers
And patched himself through to The 'Pent.
"Hey King", I said to him, trying to be funny by echoing Jim Thorpe.
The President laughed at my wit and thought me a good guy.

All in all, pretty fucking cool to meet and greet the most famous and talented people on the planet.
And they all liked me, thankfully.
At least now someone knew how damn nice I was.

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The voices generally disappeared after I gave up the beer and wine following my arrest in the spring of 2007
But sometimes they come back.
If I catch myself hearing people talking about me when I am home alone, I scold them/me for being crazy.
Tonight is one of those nights.
Just now: "He's got a nice body, but he's no bodybuilder", I heard from the Barron Center next door.
I know this is not real, is not happening.
It cannot be reality, which I want to remain a part of
Despite the attraction of my past madness.

The Big Three....and the bruins

I have all faith in Danny Ainge, Theo, and Coach Belichick. How can you not after all they've done for their franchises? In terms of Ainge's moves on Thursday, how can one not by excited about bringing in a good player/borderline star when healthy in Jeff Green to guard LeBron in the playoffs, along with a serviceable center in exchange for Perkins and Robinson. Did I hear they also are getting a Clippers 1st rounder as well? Jesus, Danny may have done a five year makeover of the team in one afternoon.

Rondo is set at point.

Allen can keep shooting jumpers for as long as he likes. He's a freaking All Star at the 2.

Paul Pierce is potentially one of the greatest Celtics ever, and a second ring will solidify that for the small forward.

Garnett is the starting 4. Nice.

And at center, Shaq is the main man, then either Krstic or Garnett vs smaller guys.

The new wing Green backing up Pierce at the 3 and some time at 4 for KG.

Injury free guard West backing up Rondo or Allen.

That's a great team if Shaq gets healthy in order to help the push for Title # 18, and might be the favorites.

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Brilliant work by General Manager Danny Ainge today. Red would be mighty happy with the kid's efforts.

Now, if we could just get new ownership of those beloved Bruins, the city's sports scene would be unbeatable.

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Friday Followup: After having a night to think about it, I am more excited about these moves than ever. The Celtics are now the favorites for the title IF Shaq is healthy. And yes, that's a big if. But Jeff Green is a wicked baller!

2011 NBA Draft Early Bird View

It's a long ways off, but the staff here at The 'Pent felt like taking a look at the major prospects for this summer's NBA draft. Everyone here is excited about the upcoming Big Dance (even the chicks and Brazilian futbal fans) but we wanted to give our three loyal readers our views on the big names. We haven't seen any of the Euros and enough of some of the intriguing guys like Leonard of San Diego State and Kenneth Faried or Derrick Williams, for example. We'll just stick to the dudes that get plenty of airtime.


Top Level Talent

Jared Sullinger PF Ohio State Freshman -- This is one bad mutherfucker. We luuuuuuv his game and attitude. Reportedly way overweight as a young kid, this guy has worked himself into a great prospect. Certainly will go in the top 3, and deservedly so. The only real question about him is how his game will translate against guys just as big and strong as him. We think he'll be really good.

Kyrie Irving PG Duke Freshman -- The next Chris Paul in our eyes, and that's plenty good for a top 3 pick. Was by far Duke's best player prior to injury, and that's a team with two other potential first rounders in Singler and Smith. Not as good an athlete as Derrick Rose, but who is? Will have to prove his health, but with hundreds of millions of dollars at stake you can be sure he and his handlers will be taking care of the bum foot. We love his game in every facet. A worker, good body, can shoot with great range, seems unselfish. A future All Star in all likelihood.


Second Level Talent

Jimmer Fredette PG BYU Senior -- Everyone knows he's good, but is he worth a lottery pick? We've heard people compare his game to Mark Price's, and Price was a really good player for a long time. We think that, with his ability to get to the line he plays more physically than Price and is more of a penetrator than the mostly jump shooting dude from Georgia Tech was back in the 80s. Fredette in our eyes IS a lottery pick, but it shows you how weak this draft is when he is going to go top ten.

Terrance Jones SF UK Freshman -- Love his game and intensity. Not really big for the 3, but should be a solid player at the next level. Can get his shot off easily and plays an NBA style already at Kentucky. A sure bet for top ten and should be a Caron Butler type of career.

Marcus Morris 3/4 combo Kansas Junior -- Where does he play? Only about 6 foot 8 so defending 4s could be a problem. Terrific offensively: can score in any number of ways from 17 feet in. Has a chance to be pretty good and Kansas is known for producing quality NBA players. His brother Markieff is also a first round talent, albeit later and probably in the late teens.

Guys With Big Reps We'd Want No Part Of And Wouldn't Draft No Matter What

Perry Jones PF Baylor Freshman-- Note to media: Don't ever compare softies to Kevin Garnett. Garnett is not a Hall of Famer because he's seven feet and agile; it's because he's a bad ass competitor who never lets his team down in addition to being physically gifted. Jones, with the KG body and build, from what we've read about him online, has never been a big winner in high school, AAU, or now in college. He clearly is a runner and jumper, but needs to get bigger and wider to be what he can be. Will he put the work in to gain 25 pounds of muscle? We'd bet against him. Beautiful athlete, though.

Josh Selby Combo Guard Kansas Freshman -- Looks like Ray Lewis as a basketball player physically, and that ain't a good thing. Carrying too much weight and he really has no excuse this late in the season to be out of shape. Five years from now no one will remember who Josh Selby was except for his Momma and basketball get a lifers like me. For shame: this was the top ranked high school baller last year. A bust. Kansas plays better without his ball stopping.

John Henson PF UNC Sophomore -- Listed at 6 f 10 but we think he plays smaller defensively. Makes moves offensively that can be timed with a sundial. Double teams and off ball helps should eat him up at the next level. Can score and reminds us physically of Cornbread Maxwell, who was a good player for about five years for Boston way back when. But Max could handle: Henson is a pure 4. Will be a non factor in The Association. (Or he could be really good and we'd look like assholes when he does.... Whatever.)

Guys We'd Draft But Don't Really Want

Harrison Barnes SF UNC Freshman -- The T Rex of college: short arms and long legs. Has basically been a jump shooter all season and he doesn't hit nearly enough of them to be a shooting guard. Good runner and jumper but his number one flaw is that he settles. He settles for jumpers when physically he is very good. Carolina always plays with pace despite their point guard woes and Barnes shouldn't complain about lack of opportunity. He will likely be a below average player in the league, if that. Oh for the days when Carolina produced NBA star after star.

Kemba Walker PG UConn Junior -- He was a below average pg for Coach Calhoun his first two years, then discovered a jump shot and has played well. He can run a team at the next level if Raymond Felton can. Walker is only about 5 11, but quick and can get his shot off. We're not as down on Kemba as Barnes. Walker could be an impact player, but if he gets taken in the first half of the lottery this will officially be the worst draft since Steve Stipanovich went second.

Good Role Players / Potential Starters

Nolan Smith PG Duke Senior -- His Dad Derek was a hell of a player for Denny Crum in the early 80s and briefly for the Celtics, among other teams in the league. Nolan seems to be tough, aggressive, can shoot but maybe not with three point range. A nice player to have on a team in our opinion because he apparently was raised right, with respect for game. Could be a starter. Hell, if Chris Duhon can start for someone briefly, then Nolan Smith can surely do it. A good bet for a lot of reasons in the teens.

Brandon Knight PG UK Freshman -- We really like this kid. Supposedly really bright (bright enough to play for Coach Calipari, the master of future lottery pick points) and a worker. Kentucky has been good this year despite a huge dropoff in talent from last year's monster squad largely because of Knight and Jones. We like him but strangely he doesn't seem to be a great athlete. Gets by on skill. But talent wins in the NBA. We love the kid and will root for him, but hard to see him being a quality 1 at the next level.

Kyle Singler SF Duke Senior -- Shane Battier Redux? Battier was known for defense a decade ago, but it looks like their games are similar otherwise. Battier and Singler are both stand still jump shooters who have few dribble moves. Singler is fairly skinny (and, by the way, needs a real haircut) but a good athlete in terms of getting up and down the court. Could be a three point specialist at some point in his career, but you want more out of that. Hard to see him being a starter. Duke's history of white guys in The Association is not a good one: Danny Ferry, Bobby Hurley, JJ Redick and others were considered disappointments after being drafted high.

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This looks like a terrible draft, with, in our opinion, only Jones, Sullinger, and Irving looking like stars. It remains to be seen how good the Euros are, since often times they play so few minutes in their leagues due to being physically weaker and younger than their teammates. Their workouts and interviews are always important.

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There's a number of pretty good sites/stories available for draft enthusiasts:

Draft Express.com

recent Seth Davis SI article


Have at it and prove us wrong!

The Problem With Being A Talented Athlete

I have always loved sports passionately, since maybe the 1975 World Series with El Tiante's baserunning gaffes and the awesome Sox win in Game Six. I was nine years old at the time. But I never had any talent at the games I adored and played with passion and intensity. I remember being excited about trying out for the Amherst Patriots Pop Warner football team when I was ten or eleven, back in the late 70s in New Hampshire. Being so sure I would make the squad I promised my vacationing family I'd bring home my football helmet from the tryouts as a trophy. I was psyched. When the volunteer coaches didn't take me on the team I was a devastated little boy who cried in my best friend's mother's arms for what seemed like hours. I knew then what I know now: I had no talent at the things I loved the most in the world. Heartbroken is too mild a word.

But this afternoon, after watching one of the local professional athletes half ass his way through a mild weight workout at my gym, I realized how much of a blessing being born with two left feet may have been. Guys who are good at sports have the weight of the world on their shoulders from the time they are in their early teens, but they also tend to, imo, coast after they get comfortable.

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Further...

Especially for lower class families involved in serious athletics, which largely means blacks in this country, the pressure on great young athletes to take care of their families wellbeing is profound. Once a kid in Florida or Texas proves good at football in Pop Warner, for example, the entire extended family will typically make it known that the kid, should he make it to the bigtime, will be responsible for everyone's well being. Can you imagine the pressure on a LeBron James, who's been nationally known since he was ten years old? Everyone in his family probably wants a handout, everyone expects something. I wouldn't want that going on in my life. Would you?

No, I was blessed with basically zero athletic ability, and I'm a better man now at 44 because of it. It would have been fun to have made the freshman boys basketball team at Milford High School (the only team I tried out for), but I got cut. Maybe I would have made some good friends and it certainly would have been nice to be part of a team, but that was not to be.

What I Am And What I Want

I am a recovering alcoholic
I am a recovering manic-depressive who hears "voices"
I am concerned about weighing 300 pounds
I am middle aged
I am very bright
I am very lonely
I am poor, with no prospects for work that I would want to do

I want to find a good woman
I want to grow old with her
I want a child or two to love and hold and watch grow up
I want my Mom to live forever
I want some damn money to live on
I want people whom I can trust in my life
I want my life to stay as simple as it is now

Fascinating Story From The NYT

Here

Hollywood could make a movie about this incident. It reminds me of a scene in the Rob Reiner movie "A Few Good Men" when Jack Nicholson's Major character rants to Tom Cruise's lawyer character about how there are bad people in the world and the military's job is to stay in between those bad men and us good folks here stateside. That's quite often reality.

Mr. Davis sounds like a typical military hero caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. The media may try to spin this as some cowboy shit gone wrong, but my gut impression from reading a complicated story by the Times is that he was ambushed (as probably happens many times a day to foreigners in nice cars in the lawless hellhole that is Pakistan) and shot the guys. Betcha any amount of money that he DIDN'T shoot the robbers in the back, as the Pakistans cops (all crooks imo) are claiming.

There are a lot of fuckups in the military, but Davis, based on the description in the story, sounds like a good man, one whom we need more of.

Three Days of Mania Then Sunday Comes And I'm Good

Thursday promised spring and I say to myself
"I'm so happy I could explode."
Man, what a high. The sunshine early, temps in the 50s
Lunch out at Whole Foods wearing just sweats and a T.
Ran outta Effexor.
Fuck it, what could be the harm of a few days runnin' naked?

Too good, too sweet to be true
In head and body
Cuz Friday my heart 'bout beat out my chest.
"This is scary" I'm thinking
"I might be in trouble here."

Saturday naked still, but Hannaford's fills the script.
Want to calm down quick and safe. Still...

Facebooking the fuck outta things.
Every damn thought in my head winds up there.
Thinkin' I'm too smart for this world
And my genius should be rewarded with an ovation.
Don't they know me by now?
Sleep for three hours
And need more.

Then Sunday comes and it's cool again.
How did I get here?
The jitterbugging heart runs are gone
For a while.

Good News for Democrats According to NYT's Frank Rich

See here.

According to a poll cited in Rich's piece today 51% of GOP likely primary voters in the 2012 elections believe our President was not born in the United States and 21% are not sure. THAT is being out of touch with reality.

Rich wonders who the GOP has to offer up against the Prez next election cycle. Mitt Romney is the great white hope, but he's Mormon and responsible for "Romneycare" down in Massachusetts. Palin is trying to get rich, and it is hurting her polling numbers. She appears to be a niche candidate without any broad based polling potential (thankfully). And Rand Paul is, frankly, nuts. The rest are fringe candidates likely, in my opinion, to go down in flames next November (should they win the GOP primary battle) during President Obama's reelection campaign in 2012. This is, admittedly, predicated on the economy heating up, as I believe it will by next spring.

I see one of the biggest landslides in American political history in the reelection of our Prez next year and a retaking of Congress by the Dems.

My Reality Is Not Reality

I've heard voices since I was in my twenties.
The pdocs call them auditory hallucinations.
For years and years, though, I believed my hearing to be extraordinary.
But this was false.

They they they weren't all talking shit about me
Being a freak and a weird loser.
They didn't even know I was there.

It was all in my head.
And
This viciousness continues to haunt me
Today.

I was at a basketball game last night. By myself (of course).
And they were all talking about me
The normals in the stands around me.
The freak the freak the freak
But they didn't even know I was there.

Over And Over

I'll always be the 10 year old cut by the Pop Warner coaches for being too scrawny.
I'll always be the 12 year old who the popular girls said danced "like (I) was dead."
I'll always be the thickly layered 30 year old that my father claimed would "be blind by the time (I'm) forty" from diabetes.

I'll never forget being the kid who pissed and shit his pants in first grade because raising my hand to ask the teacher to go to
the bathroom was too terrifying.
I'll never forget being the M.A.S.H. freshman putz who wasn't man enough to protect Mom when Dad was beating on her back in Amherst.

I used to think my apartments were bugged. From 1998 to 2007. Three separate places.
I used to talk to famous people through the camera/mic/sprinkler heads in my current home. It's right behind me as I type this.
I used to write a lot of putrid poetry and ask people to read it and give me their "honest opinion." Right.

I once claimed to a psych admitting nurse that I was such a bad guy that people could "smell me coming." She took me literally.
I once shoplifted a book in a mall, then brought it back the next day and put it on the same shelf thanks to my guilt over stealing fifteen bucks worth of merchandise.

My Fitness Goal:

Look like this dude in about two years. I'll have to lose about 80/90 pounds.

NBA Dunk Contest This Weekend!

It's always waaaaaay better than the game.

These are some of the greatest athletic moves ever. Any sport. Ever.

1) Toxins and the 2) NFL Labor Deal/No Deal

1) I just finished reading a superb book: "Bad Science." The author takes down a lot of the companies and individuals who abuse and misuse science in an attempt to separate us from our money, like homeopaths and pharmaceutical companies. Great stuff.

A lot of quacks try to get suckers, for example, to detoxify their bodies using various methods. Juice diets, enemas, etc etc. It seems to me that our bodies are very efficient already at detox. Food and water pass through our systems very quickly. There are some things in our stomachs and the rest of the digestive system that help in the process, but usually whatever is in there is in there for a reason. It's laughable that people go on these ludicrous diets, or stick stuff up their butts, in order to get rid of whatever chemicals are there. Are bodies are amazing machines and do a wonderful job of taking care of everything that needs taking care of. So in my case, I just try to eat a healthy diet (I said "TRY"), get enough water to stay hydrated, work out fairly hard with regularity, and get enough sleep. Anything in addition, like mega doses of vitamins, it ridiculous and potentially hazardous.

2) The NFL is on the verge of a strike. This seems like a silly idea due to the high net worth of many of the people involved until one thinks about how important the details of the next labor agreeement are to both sides. The NFL has about $9 billion in revenue a year, so there is a lot at stake. And the details, the fine print, are extremely important in this stuff. That's why there are so many lawyers on Wall Street.

For example if I offer to buy your shoes for $1,000, that sounds like a great deal for you. And I get you to sign a contract stating that. But then afterwards you read the fine print, and I have promised to give you a dollar a year for a thousand years. You've gone from getting a good deal on the sale of your shoes to getting screwed, all because of the fine print. And the players had better be REAL careful. The owners of the NFL teams didn't get to be billionaires by getting screwed a lot of the time. They are smart, often brilliant, men who will take down the union if they can. So hopefully the players are being represented by many, many good lawyers and businessmen. Because, judging by all the thousands of retired players who can barely walk and are living brutally unrewarding lives, the owners have no concern for the players once their careers are over with.

So be careful, players.

Six months ago, one month ago, and last night.

Six months back I sent her a note on Facebook,
"I usually would do this over the phone..."
That sort of thing.
And got no response.

Last month I heard her speak
On her one year anniversary.
Good news for me, too
Or so I thought.
I asked her again, via Facebook, within a week of hearing her.
And this time, again, got no response.

My voices were shouting last night, a month after my second try:
When she was walking behind me during another meeting,
"My knees go weak when he's nearby."
That sort of thing.
And I felt a hope.
My mind likes to play tricks on me.

She is the most beautiful woman I've ever talked to, ever seen up close.
And I spent the day today,
The one after my voices played their game on me,
Wasting,
Daydreaming about her middle parts,
Soft to the touch and electrified
From my fingers' playful manipulation.

It will never be real.
Only in my head does she want me,
Love me,
Need me.
Only in my head does she really see me
When she looks at me.

I've spent most of my life wishing that I was happy.
Or just a little happier.