My Voices Are Dreams. And More.

Sometimes I think
Everything good in my life
Comes from other people
And I own the rest, the misery

No, that can't be
Because...

The voices in my head which
Got me good
For so many years of my life
Are
Dreams that became real
In my brain

I always desired to be somebody
So my voices made it reality
I wanted to be in love
So people I wanted wanted me
I wanted to be important
And the military was at my beck and call
Due to the awful, ludicrous, fascinating auditory halluciations
I own

I've never had the urge to tell other people
How to live their lives
Only to tell my story
And have it last forever
That means
These voices
In my head
Now I see
Are my gift

It Was The Alcohol

YouTube video of author Charles Bukowski abusing his live-in girlfriend.

============

The mad genius
Fueled by the booze
Like always

We watch as predators
Waiting
Waiting
For the explosion

Poor wretches
Both of them
I don't want to live like that
Though remember when I did

Only for me
There was no one listening
No one I could kick
They weren't there
Only in my head
In delicious fantasies

=========

He was a beautiful, tortured soul
Who should not have drank
So much
But Hank believed the drunks
Were his inspiration

Poor man
I do not want that alcoholic life
Only to write

A Miracle Is Coming To Manhattan

If I can't have my own
The next best thing
Is for Andy and Elizabeth
To have a baby

Yes, that's the next best option
And
They have earned this miracle

My brother is such a sweet, sweet man
Hardworking, rock solid
Competent, compassionate, kind
And loyal above all else
To those he loves

E is my sister now
And tons of fun
With a strong, wise laugh and
Concern for all others in her world
As a Mom she will rock and roll

What a blessing to their lives
This will be

And I can be an uncle once more

What To Believe

I sit down amongst
And get paranoid
Who is watching me?
Who is judging me?
I am at heart a shy wannabe performer

Though

Hearing things others don't/can't hear and
Knowing these are wishes
From my brain
Translated into voices drilling into this sick head
That mock and defile
Hurts

People hate me
People love me
There is no in between
They all pay so much attention
But reality may be different

Self centered fears
And self love
Come out
And bother the fuck out of me
But I don't want to be anywhere else
I can think of

It's because I am lonely
And woeful
But full of hope and love
For this world
And its membership
In all forms

A better day is coming
Maybe
And we all deserve to believe in it

So
Why do I believe in them and their lives, constantly
But not always in me?

Living Life Badly Today

Well I think that stinks

You guys tighten the noose
And they put their necks in
Obligingly
Why?

Am I toxic
To the core?

Trying to better myself and reach out
For someone somewhere
I get slapped down
Right fucking down

Sick of it
Sick to fucking death of it
I am not a bad person
Who sees that, though?
Who knows that?
No one really

Seemingly

A bad day to be me

I am no Bukowski, as I wish to be

Mostly

Because he got laid a lot

I Can't: You and Me

I can't pay your bills
Or run your life
I just want a simple, uncomplicated existence
With no alarm clock
To wake to
Or cell phone
To scream at

I can't make you do
What you don't want to

And

I would rather die
Than sit in a carpeted cubicle again
That used to be my work life
And almost ended me

I want the artist's life
And to live for art's sake
No schedule
No boss to hate me
No coworkers to gossip hatefully with

I can't make it work
The way things used to be

The way they are now
Is the only way they can be

Goddess

She is the goddess of my gym
And I can't take my eyes off her
As bad as that sounds

Making contact is always the tough part
Because
I can bullshit pretty good
Once in
But getting there is the hard part

She has a dancer's body
Young and right
But womanly
In the important ways

Is that enough, though
Does she like to laugh?
Is she friendly?
I can't answer these questions
Without taking big chances

Reading in a magazine
How women hate to be hit on in gyms
Scares me off
Which will keep things the same
Out of reach, just

What to do
When I have no clue?
Trust that things will work out
I guess

Is Paul Pierce the Greatest Baller Ever From the Los Angeles Area?

Watching the dull Hornets vs Lakers game on tape this am, an interesting question came to my mind: Has the Celtics Paul Pierce become the greatest player ever from LA?

I think so, based on his career and the competition.

----------

Here's a list of the 13 best ever players who grew up and went to high school in greater LA:

1) Pierce - Finals MVP for Boston in '08
2) Reggie Miller - one of the greatest scorers ever at UCLA and for the Pacers, never won a ring or a college title
3) Dennis Johnson - won three rings and one of the best combo guards in the history of basketball
4) Gail Goodrich - won a ring with the Lakers, known as an undersized 2 guard

5a) Byron Scott - won multiple rings with Magic and Co., not in the same league at the top 4 listed here
5b) Jamaal Wilkes - played for UCLA and Lakers, led orgies in the Fabulous Forum and taught Magic everything he knows about groupies
5c) Paul Westphal - an old Celtic, great player for a long time

8) Marques Johnson - A big winner at UCLA and played on some terrific Bucks teams before his Clipper sojourn

9) Reggie Theus - bad ass baller at UNLV and with a ton of NBA teams, never a big winner though

rankings to be determined...

Russell Westbrook - part of the new guard
Kevin Love - has a chance to be the best big man ever from LA
Baron Davis - what would have happened to his career if he concentrated solely on basketball, as he has a bunch of outside interests and hasn't been in great shape in a long time

13) Kevin Johnson - played in one Finals for Phoenix, didn't really guard anybody but was a terrific point guard and an amazing dunker

------------

Some of you may claim the UCLA centers as LA kids, but Walton was from San Diego and Kareem from New York city. None of the other guys from the Wooden dynasty had enough of an impact to be on this list, save Goodrich. John "Hot Plate" Williams, who spent two years at LSU, made a Final Four, went to the Association and looked like a great one until he put on a ton of weight, could have possibly been the best ever from LA, but it was not to be.

The only serious competition Pierce has for the title is from Reggie Miller. But Miller never won a title and only played in one Final. PP has, so far, played in two Finals and won one, with more possibly to come. And the Celtics have been really good now for four years, better than any of the Miller led Pacer teams. That cinches it.

Paul Pierce. Best ever from America's second largest city.

Christeen

She was lovely to me
In the beginning
Of our time together

She saved me from hopelessness

------------

Christeen dropped a note in my lap
As I went on and on about
How lonely I was
During the partial hospitalization group therapy we were both attending
At Portsmouth Hospital's Psych Unit
The note said, in effect, "Call me"

I did, that night
And she was nice
I had not noticed her before the note
In her jeans and windbreaker
Just another woman to me, really
But once she took notice of me
I began to take notice of her

We talked nightly
And quickly
Moved into my unfamiliar territories
"She must like me", I thought
"Why?"

The first night we had dinner somewhere on York Beach
A lovely meal, and we kept talking
Moving down to lie
Next to one another on Long Sands
She said to me, flat fucking out,
"I am attracted to you"
I'm such a dolt
It scared me

We made love the next time we saw each other
And it was the first time I ever came inside a woman

Sure, I had had sex before, but just playacting
The real thing, for me, was with Christeen, when I was 30
How amazing is that?
(Thank you sweetie for giving me that gift)

She was experienced at sex
And wasn't afraid of anything
I was her plaything
My penis her lollipop

I was learning that I was NOT a FREAK
When I was around her
Who hasn't ejaculated inside a woman when they reach 30 years old?
Me
Until Christeen

She had a beautiful body,
With full, womanly breasts and
Lovely hips
Petite but sturdy in shape
She was built for producing babies
And fucking

Quickly, I moved in to her place down on Kittery Point
As I had been living with my poor Mom back in town
Who celebrated my new relationship
With smiles
(Mom loved Christeen)

We shared our cats
And our showers
Two sweet people looking for something
And thinking maybe, maybe
They had found it
(Can I speak for her? I shouldn't)
She told me she loved me
And I didn't answer for three weeks
But I realized I did, and I told her so

That meant more to me, and hopefully
To her
Than a quick "I love you, too" would have
I really had to think about it
And was happy when I said it, for freaking real,
For the first time to a woman

Then

I became selfish in our lovemaking
Not doing things for her
That she was doing for me
I just wanted to quickly be inside her
And pump away
For as long and as hard as we could stand it
Intense
But selfish
On my part
(Today, I am sorry for that, Christeen)

And she drifted away
While I got depressed, more and more so
What was I doing with my life?
Why didn't I want to work?
Why didn't I just get a job?
She didn't know that stress changed me
Made me worse off, more depressed, more hopeless

She got to see the real me
When I took a temp job in accounting over in Manchester
I would get up and shower at 530am, leave by 630, in the dark of winter mornings
And get home in the dark of night
And could feel my brain shrinking
My heart bursting
So I quit
I lasted about a week

That failed job
I think
Started us on the downhill path as
She looked elsewhere
For financial security
And, apparently found it quickly
In another man's bed

She told me to move out one day
As I lay watching the NCAA tournament
She thought I was lazy now? Wait till football season, I thought

I can laugh now
But the moment she said "it's not working out"
Was like a dream
I did what I had to do
Packed up my stuff in a van
And got ready to move up to Portland

The last time I held her in my arms
I asked her to make love with me one more time
She declined
Through tears

---------------

It's 13 years later
And all that I can think is
Thank you Christeen.
I will always love you

Quick Thoughts on Pacers vs Bulls

-- The Bulls are the favorites to win some rings.

I was anxious to see how first year head man Tom Thibodeau's charges would respond to playoff pressure, and they have certainly come through, crushing Indiana late in both of the first two games. This team can win four series and the title, without question. They have everything you want: a superduperstar in Rose, shotblockers and rebounders in Noah, Thomas and Boozer, jumpshooters in Korver and Deng; a great core that seems hungry for a title. Not an all time great team, but the best the NBA has this year.


-- Derrick Rose is incredible.

I know, not exactly a news flash. But physically he dominates the game in the same way that LeBron does and Shaq used to. Except that Rose is about 6 foot 3, whereas James is half a foot taller and Shaq is one of the biggest folks on the planet. I don't think I've seen leaping ability like Rose's since MJ's first half a dozen years in the NBA. It's like he has pogo sticks on his shins. Just a joy to watch.


-- Darren Collison better be REALLY, REALLY hurting today.

To come out of a playoff game with a fucking sprained ankle appears pretty weak. He rolled the ankle and never came back. That would raise my eyebrows a bit if I were his teammate. Sprained ankles aren't supposed to keep ballers out of big games.


-- Noah plays like a shotblocking Rodman.

In others words, Noah is a vital piece of the championship puzzle for Chicago. He never gets plays called for him, yet still scores in double figures and gets his mitts on tons of balls. He is absolutely fun to watch. He works so very hard.


-- Indiana has a nice team.

Not a threat to win the series, but they have an average NBA club, which I never would have guessed prior to the season. Tyler Hansbrough has really come a long ways, and looks like he can be part of the core, along with Collison and Granger. They need help, and I'm not sold on Hibbert being a winning type player because he goes invisible for so long so often, but the Pacers can play. Frank Vogel is a cinch to be re-upped if Bird stays in charge. And maybe even if Bird isn't.


-- This may be the last go around as an executive for Larry Bird.

He has had plenty of time to produce a winner in Indy and hasn't done so. That's the bottom line. Maybe new blood is called for in Pacer management. I wouldn't can him, but he may be let go by their ownership, which would be the first failure in Bird's professional life.

The Gym: Be Seen, Not Heard

I love going to my gym, World Gym, here in Portland. It's got nice, high ceilings and a big floor, so there's no feeling of claustrophobia (like nearby Planet Fitness or Lifestyles). But I've learned in the two years I've been attending that it is safer to speak only when spoken to.

========

I remember about a year ago asking a middle aged, obese woman doing behind the neck military presses if she ever got sore doing that particular lift. She about took my head off with her reply: "I've been exercising for ten years and know exactly what I'm doing!!" At the time it seemed to really bother me when I would see a person doing a lift that was dangerous, and that was the reason I talked to her, but that woman's excitable, harsh, terse, and kind of mean reply cured me of putting my nose where it doesn't belong. Go ahead and do whatever you want, people. I have no interest in talking to other foks, or at least initiating conversations, when exercising since that moment.

It is nice to see someone I know from outside working out at World and speaking with them for a few moments. But man, I do not ever talk to strangers at World unless they talk to me first. I've learned my lesson. People can be so mean.

What are my Qualifications?

I am a good guy, a truly good guy
And
It is not in me to ever be mean
(Maybe angry but never mean)

I'm friendly to pretty much everyone
Then sink bank into the "keep to myself" role I like
Once I get to know you

I love women
(The tall ones with their athletic legs and long hair
The perfect ones that don't know they're perfect
The short ones that will fight you for every last inch
And are adorably cute
Every inch of all their bodies is sacred
Especially the middle parts
Like their bellies, their hips, their butts
Small breasts are wonderful
Large ones fun to play with
Yes, there's a lot to like in a woman's body)

I take care of myself
Through exercise and plenty of sleep
Never really smoked
Drank a lot but gave it up three years ago
Never, ever drugged
Thankfully (as I would have been dead by now, certainly)
I look younger, I think, than my almost forty five years would suggest
A big dude, I carry my weight well
I read a ton of books and magazines, so I know everything there is to know
(Seemingly)

That reminds me: I am really, really funny
(Though not when I write, disappointingly)
I smile a lot these days
And am physically playful and affectionate
Love children completely
Am a good communicator
Rigorously honest always

Only been arrested once
(That arrest has been chronicled in this blog quite a bit)
And did I mention I'm a hell of a guy?

Is that enough to interest anybody?

Oh yeah
One disclaimer
I only have about $1,600 a month to spend
And a quarter of that goes to rent
So yeah,
I'm wicked broke

But still
A heck of a guy

The Playoffs: Root for the Nicest Laundry

When I can find no other factor in a playoff series in the NHL I root for the team with the better looking uniforms.

Seems reasonable to me.

===========

NHL First Round:

New York Rangers vs Washington Capitals - The Rangers have long had just about the coolest uniforms in sports, so picking them is easy. The Caps unis are boring and too busy.

Buffalo Sabres vs Philadelphia Flyers - Sabres uniforms are sweet and they have a Portland connection, owning the Pirates. Also, Tyler Ennis, who spent a good part of last season with the Pirates and made the game look easy, is a fantastically exciting young player. And Philly sucks overall. In every sport, in every way. They have the worst fans in sports, outside of the blase Atlanta crowd.

Los Angeles Kings vs San Jose Sharks - Hard as it is to root against former Bruin Jumbo Joe Thornton, I pick the Kings, who have always had bad ass uniforms, especially in their Raider wannabe days in the 90s.

Chicago Blackhawks vs Vancouver Canucks - Tough call. The Canucks unis are simply dreadful and dull, with no color. But no Canadian based team has won the Stanley Cup since the Canadians way back in 1993. So they are a sentimental favorite. The Blackhawks uniforms are historically great: bold and cool. These unis have been in movies like "...About Last Night" and "Wayne's World" and probably others I'm forgetting. If the Rangers don't have the most awesome sweaters in the league, the Hawks take it. Root for Chicago.

...the rest of the series, besides the Bs vs Habs? I can find no reason to root for any of the teams involved.

Honestly

I haven't touched a woman in six years
And think about it constantly
The first three years
I was basically alone
With only (what turned out to be) fantasies
To keep me going

The next, last three years have been harder
Because I've been sane
And aware of the loneliness
That creeps up so often

Without those past crazy, thrilling ideas
That my doctor was leaving with me
Or that famous people wanted me
Or Laurel was going to come for me
I am left with what I have now
Which is nothing
But my own head

When I speak to someone I want
What am I supposed to think
What am I supposed to do
To change this empty life

I don't want to go another six years
In between

Is It A Good Business Decision To Own A Pro Sports Team?

Short answer: Yes, it's very good business.

==========

Don't let the public relations smokescreens fool you: Owning any franchise in one of the four major professional sports leagues is a good business decision. Look at the Steinbrenner family. They invested a couple of million in the early 70s in the Yankees and the team is worth a reported $1.5 billion dollars today. Try figuring out THAT return on investment over forty years. Or the Cowboys and Jerry Jones. Jones bought the team for under $100 million in the late 80s, and the team is now worth that same $1.5 billion. The examples are everywhere. Just look at the ever increasing sales prices of franchises and forget the owners telling folks that they are losing money hand over fist. It's bullshit.

Don't listen when the owners tell the media and their employees (the athletes) that they lose gobs of money. If that was true, why do the sale prices, which are just about the only public information passed on to us, keep going up and up and up? It's a simple equation. No one becomes a billionaire by being an idiot. And almost no one loses money on owning a team in one of the four professional sports leagues in North America.

I've met and read some pretty knowledgeable sports fans claim that only idiots own sports franchises since it's hard to make money at it. What a laugh. It's hard NOT to make money at it.

Again: look at the selling price the next time a franchise changes hands. For example, the Phoenix Coyotes are reportedly going to be sold and/or moving back to Winnipeg. Check out the price and see for yourself when the transaction comes down.

==========

Further: Matching sharks like Bob Kraft and Jerry Jones up against DeMaurice Smith of the NFLPA and his cohorts like Mike Vrabel is a huge mismatch. The owners will win this fight against the players. They always do. It would be smart for the NFLPA to just take their lumps and sign whatever agreement they can get before the athletes lose a year's salary, since most of the guys in the NFL live check to check.

What's To Come?

The voices were gone
For the longest time in my memory
Why do they, in small snippets,
Have to come back now?

--------------

I was about to get my hair cut
Two weeks back
And could hear the young women inside
Saying nice things about me

But I cannot hear through walls

I was walking around The 'Pent
Last night naked, headed to the shower
And could hear the workers next door, out the window,
Saying good things about me

I cannot hear whispers from a hundred feet away

-----------

Why now?
This is that kind of tenuous, frightening moment
Where things can get better or worse

I was fine, by myself,
At the Pirates game last night
And am happy for that
But knowing how bad things can get
Scares me completely

I do not want to be a headline
I don't want to wind up behind locked doors again
What do I have to do to keep this shit right?
The meds have stayed regular
Things are good with my pdoc
What else is there
To worry about?

Friends Gone

Three years ago, in the late spring of '08
When I first got sober
I bought four new friends from the program
To a Pirates playoff game

We had a good time
And I was happy for the company

Today
One is dead, of natural causes accelerated by his usage
The other three are "out", as we say and
Not doing well, I assume
That is the way things go for folks like me

The oldtimers told me to buy a good suit
When I first started coming to meetings
Because of all the funerals

They were right
Though I've only been to two
In three years
Many others who have my disease
(That of alcoholism)
Have passed away
In this small city
I just hadn't met them yet

What She Wants I Can't Have

What she wants
Is some dude
To pay her bills
And take care of her each and every need (bet she does)
Except those ones I'd be good at meeting

Because you know
I'm great in bed
...But what does that pay?
I give good "listen"
...But how can you make a job out of that?
Back rubs, foot massages,
Reading to and playing with the kids
Making dinner
All that shit
I score at
...Meaningless to her
Not worth a fucking thing to this woman

She wants a man with money
To put her two little ones in private school
So they never meet a dude that could be a future me
And spoil all her dreams
Of country clubs and Ivy League educations
For her little girls

--------

But really
Anyway

I know I'm a good match for someone
Somewhere
Not her though
She would drive me crazy
Eventually
As her materialism and self hatred
Would win out over her beauty
And sweetness
And sense of humor

Is she crazy? No
Of course not
She's a peach, a beaut
But warped by the world
To make my dreams for us impossible
Utterly unobtainable

I will move on
While looking at her in the discreet distance
When I can
Wishing for what won't ever be

Sox in Some Trouble

The problem has been starting pitching. I believe this team will score gobs and gobs of runs, but the starters have been brutal, which brings in the middle relief, which has also been brutal. The late relief should be real good, but when you're way behind in every game, Jenks, Bard, and Pap are meaningless.

---------

Dice-K may be pitching his way out of town. By that, I mean a release is possible at some point this year (no GM in his right mind would give up anything for this guy the way he is throwing and if he turns his season around the Sox won't be dealing him or releasing him). He throws like he has no confidence in his stuff, and has for the last four years. Forgive me for patting myself on the back, but the first time I saw him throw the ball, I guessed that his acrosss-the-body delivery would mean a short shelf life (I've searched the blog for a mention and couldn't find any so I guess you'll have to take my word for it), and that's exactly what happened. Dice-K was solid his first year, lucky his second, and has been pretty bad the last two years, with a couple of abysmal starts so far this year. Can he be a fifth starter on a playoff team (meaning that he would head to the bullpen when the real games start)? Possibly, but I'm betting the Sox and Theo are working on something right now. Maybe Wake will give them some decent starts, as he is wont to do every couple of years. But all in all, getting two good years and three bad ones from a fourth starter is not what the Sox had in mind when they spent that $100m five years ago on the best pitcher Japan had produced. He's a big bust.

I have faith that Beckett can win 15 and pitch decent baseball. Lester and Bucholz are probably going to be outstanding again. If they aren't, the Sox won't win 90. But Lackey is the big question amongst the top four starters. He was brutal last year and has been regressing for several years now. The Sox signed him because they could afford him, but he has done nothing to show he's worth the money he's getting now and in the future. He could become an albatross just like Barry Zito has been for the Giants. That's what happens when teams sign pitchers to long term deals, quite often. Look at AJ Burnett of the Yanks and the Mets with Santana, to give just two examples. Thank goodness for Lester and Bucholz, the homegrown studs that a lot of folks thought should be dealt away years ago.

Everything else on the team is going to be fine. AG, Youk, Papi, Dustin, and Crawford are studs. No worries there.

If You Live

If you live your life
On the idea that money is most important
Then there will always be someone
With more than you
Jealousy rising
Self hatred a step behind

If, instead, you live your life
In the pursuit of a state of mindfulness
There won't be anyone
Wealthier than you
Anywhere on this Earth

-------

I see those folks
Who measure themselves
By the size of their house
Or automobile
And I know
They have already lost

Because
There's always gonna be a bigger boat
Down the boulevard
That you want and need
And can't afford

Give me piece of mind
A hundred bucks in my wallet
Then
I'm good

Can I Give Back?

Four years ago I was sicker than I've ever been
Tasered, handcuffed, jailed
Taken by the Portsmouth police to the N. H. State Mental Hospital in Concord for a month

I deserved to be there
So sick I thought the military wanted to both
Assassinate me and make me their leader
(Different factions within had different plans
For me)

Through trauma came recovery
Via reflection, readings, meetings, psychiatrists, therapists, friends, and family, exercise
It was all incredibly hard work
And remains so

The pain caused by going through, not around,
Continues to pay off

----------------

Four years later, can I give back to those that need?
Can I help those drunks and lunatics
I will always be?

Knowing there is a part of me in all of them that I see
Struggling with sanity
And the booze
(No drugs for me)

Their pain and confusion is real
Because
In certitude lies madness
Always
And what I heard in meetings rings truer than ever:
"The more I know the less I know"
Which lets me know I have no answers
Only compassion and love

Thirteen Years

It's been thirteen years since I last had
Skin to skin contact
With a woman I cared for

=============

I did fuck that one I met on the internet
Six years back
But she blew me off the next day
After she got a good look at my place
And realized my financial status

Guess she was willing to fuck me
But didn't want to spend any time in the tiny shithole
That is Apartment 404
(Does that make her a prostitute?:
Sex to get through the night
Then scram in the a.m.?
I wonder too much sometimes)

==============

The cat jumped on my back tonight
While I lay on the couch
Her claws and fur felt so damn good on my bare skin

What would a woman feel like doing the same thing?
One that I cared for
And wanted to sleep with?

That would be heavenly
I assume

The Passing of Sidney Lumet

NYT's obit of the 86 year old Oscar winner

==========

It seems impossible that "12 Angry Men" was Lumet's first film, but he was no boy wonder, having worked in theater and television steadily for the prior decade, following his discharge from the Army after World War II. Lumet is, quite simply, one of the greatest film directors to ever work, and his death, however sad, will hopefully allow younger fans who have not seen all, or even any, of his masterpieces to indulge.

"Serpico", "Network", "The Verdict", "Dog Day Afternoon" and even "Prince of the City": These are essential American movies.

Haven't seen them? Then you should.

Hoosier Hospitality: My Trip to the Women's Final Four in Indianapolis

Four Discoveries of the Trip........

=======================

1) Standford's Pep Band Rocks

They are simply dynamite. Rocking and rolling the whole game through. These kids had fun on Sunday despite the Cardinal's loss to Texas A&M. Filled the whole of Canseco Fieldhouse with energy and sound. Great job, guys!



2) Texas A&Ms Tyra White = Arkansas' Scotty Thurman circa '94

White hit the 3 that cinched the Championship for A&M on Tuesday night, a shot eerily similar to one that Thurman hit for Arkansas in 1994 to beat Duke: way out in the corner with the shot clock running down. Great play by White to get her name into the history books.



3) Maya Moore = UCLA's Bill Walton in '74

Bill Walton may have been the greatest male college basketball player of all time, and was responsible for leading UCLA to a record setting 88 game win streak. But he lost his final college game with the Bruins in the 1974 Final Four National Semifinals to David Thompson's NC State, eventual national champions.

Maya Moore almost unquestionably is the finest women's player ever in the college game, and helped UConn win a women's record 91 straight games, but she lost her last game.

Maybe I overthink these kinds of things, but I do look at history and see where we can view parallels between today and yesterday.



4) The Women's Game is just not nearly as popular as the men, and never will be.

On Monday night the men played in front of 70k folks in Houston. Tuesday night the women competed in front of 17k fans and 3k empty seats at Canseco Fieldhouse in Indianapolis. It's painfully obvious that the women's game lags way, way behind the men's game in national interest, no matter how much ESPN wants us to pay attention.

I am a serious hoops junkie and would watch the women's tourney no matter what, but other folks, the regular sports fans, just don't care. I don't know why.

Getaway

She and my long dead father treat(ed) me the same way
As appendages to be used for their purposes
Not mine.

How similar can they be
When he drank too much
And she not nearly enough?
I do not understand.

He could be a happy drunk
Maybe once a year
But I, as a child,
Was always scared, nonetheless,
Running up to my room
To avoid the drunken rages
And nonsensical accusations
Of my part in the plots against him.

She has now crossed into that territory
Where her actions make no sense
To the undrunk
And uninformed outsiders
Who see only a caring grandmother,
A woman maybe a little too brash
But loving nonetheless

Only my M and I know the truth
For both these people
They blame us for their faults
Then attack us when we defend ourselves.

I don't want to live this way
But M doesn't care
(She has a stronger back than me)

So this summer will be quiet in Apt 404
Thankfully
And I will go to baseball games by myself
Knowing the alternative of explosive companionship
Is not worth the risk
To my mental well being.

Impressions Of Sox Opening Day Loss

Think baseball is boring? Not me. A million things were going on down on the field in Texas today. Here's my thoughts on a few...

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Wakefield: He is now what he should have been a long time ago: A mopup man. The most overrated player in Sox history. Tell me, if this guy is so valuable why has he been playing for a couple million or so a year for quite some time now? The man is a .500 pitcher and, other than a couple of freak years, always has been.

Pedroia: Not much happened at the plate but this dude can surely pick it in the field. Will most likely win another Gold Glove, health allowing. Good things are in store for Dustin is he is healthy.

Crawford: Looked ridiculously bad against the lefties. Did he even get a foul ball? Not what you want out of the three hole. IS a very good player when he hits for average, but I wonder if the Sox would be better off with Gonzalez at 3, Youk at 4, Papi at 5, with whatever R/L/R/L fills in the rest of the order.

Ellsbury: I'll bet you ANYTHING he got a lousy jump on that single in front of him in the 8th. Another guy who has to hit for high average to have any value. Doesn't hit for power and almost never walks, so his average has to touch .300 for him to have a good year. Shit, the dude played in 18 games last year because of cracked ribs: Not exactly a tough guy.

Lester: Velocity was fine but location off. The least of the team's worries. He has historically started fairly slowly. Other than the three bombs didn't do bad in that joke of a park in Texas.

Bard: Another guy not to be worried about. Murphy swung at ball four and punched it to left and hit the foul line: Baseball luck. Bard gets tired pretty quickly, but he threw the slider and (I think) changeup today and needs to rely on them since no one other than Nolan Ryan has thrown as hard as Bard for more than a couple of years.

Gonzalez: My goodness is he good. A GREAT first baseman. Made two good plays just in the first inning. Might get 140 ribbies this year (seriously).

Papi: Looked silly against the lefties until the homer. I'm not worried about him. He looks in good shape and probably has another good year or two. Will undoubtably be one of the best DH's in the league once again.

The Bullpen: Albers and Reyes aren't very good. Hopefully Doubrant can come back and fill in that 6th/7th inning role, because these two guys are just filler until he returns.

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Losing to Texas is no shame. Wilson proved he can pitch last year and did pretty well today. The bullpen for the Rangers closed the deal and the Sox pen didn't, but there's 161 more to go, folks.

Link

SI's Joe Posnanski on the 32 best players in baseball.

A fun read as I await the first pitch down in Texas.