The Best Love Letter Is Time Spent

I had the opportunity to attend a good friend's son's youth basketball game last night and it gave me a chance to think about what it means to care about another person and, especially, to love someone.

Spending time with someone else is the best gift you can give them.

So many people in our society feel great pressure to drive the nicest car, make the most money, have the most accomplished offspring, etc, but as I have grown into my middle years it has become more and more obvious to me that all that...well....crap is a losing bet. Why do we need to make a six figure income? Why do we want to drive a Beemer? We only get one chance at life and we only are given 168 hours in a week. Using those hours wisely by doing things you enjoy with people you care about and, hopefully, love seems the wisest of life choices.

Seeing my friend R coaching his son's team was a wonderful experience but the best part of all was knowing that R is there for his boy, that they have a bond based on time spent in one another's company.

The Decline of "The Colbert Report"

Count me as a longtime fan of "The Colbert Report", but lately I've noticed a decline in the quality of the show. I have taped and watched it the next morning for years, but it struck me this week that I was not enjoying it nearly as much as I used to.

Why the show is less funny is a mystery to me. I'm certain that producing four half hour shows a week must be a daunting task, but it would seem that in this wide world there is plenty of material still available. Is Colbert bored? Has the quality of the writing staff declined, possibly due to defections to more high paying jobs? I'm not sure.

What I am sure of is that watching "The Colbert Report" has become more of a chore than a pleasure, so as of this week I'm going back to taping Letterman.

Georgetown vs Syracuse: The Joy of Great Broadcasters

Last night ESPN had on the Hoyas and Cuse at 7pm. The game, not well played, was made enjoyable by the terrific trio broadcasting it: Sean McDonough on play by play with Jay Bilas and Bill Raftery doing color. These guys not only love and respect the game but seem to enjoy each other's company. This was a matchup of two of the best teams in the nation that, despite the lackluster game, was made better by the fact that the best trio of college basketball announcers was doing the game. Thanks to ESPN.

Bob Knight is another announcer who makes watching a game something to be cherished. Despite his abrasiveness and dour personality, Coach Knight may be the most incisive color man for college hoops working today. It is a given that very few folks know more about the game than Knight and he brings that coach's perspective to his announcing. I loved hearing him rip Frank Martin's Kansas State offense during and after their big time win over then number one Texas last week. Not many broadcasters would have the guts to call out a coach during a game that his team was winning for having an ineffective and inefficient O. Good job by Coach Knight.

And then there's the awful Dick Vitale. Rarely will I listen to a game that he is doing. Instead I mute the man and just watch, which detracts from my enjoyment since crowd noise is such a key part of the college basketball experience. But I, like so many others, simply cannot stand Vitale's schtick. I have never, never ever, met any serious fan of the game who enjoyed listening to Vitale.

The NY Times Guesses Upcoming Oscar Nominees in the Major Categories

...here.

I thought "Bright Star", "A Single Man", and "Funny People" were three of the best acted and directed films I saw this year. Nice to see them getting some love here.

Among this year's most overrated films, in my opinion, were "Up in the Air" (enjoyable but not funny and not really about a whole lot), "The Hurt Locker" (I may have overreacted by walking out about 45 minutes in, but there were some laughably implausible scenes early on), "Public Enemies" (huge boring disappointment from one of my favorite directors, Michael Mann), "Inglourious Basterds" (Quentin badly needed an editor with balls) and "A Serious Man" (so dull I left the theatre after about 40 minutes).

Can't wait to see "Crazy Heart" (Jeff Bridges might be the greatest male actor in the world), "Fantastic Mr. Fox" (how did I miss this in the theatres?), "Gomorrah" (never made it to Maine), and "Summer Hours" (with the always enchanting Juliette Binoche). I guess I'll have to Netflix the ones I didn't get to.

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The Oscar nominations come out on February 2nd. I think this was a fairly average year in film, with no classics being released save "Avatar", and with some of the most talked about films disappointing me. But many good ones.

With the number of Best Picture nominees up from five to ten in the hopes of more buzz and dollars coming into the studios, it will be interesting to see how this plays out.

First Look at the 2010 NBA Draft

It looks to my eyes like next season's crop of NBA Rookies will be historically bad.

Other than future All Stars John Wall and Derrick Favors there may not be another bigtime player available. According to DraftExpress.com Evan Turner of Ohio State is the third best available talent. I think Turner is a fine player with size, athletic ability, and skill but I don't think he reminds anyone, at this stage, of Brandon Roy. And power forward Ed Davis, their fourth ranked player, is too timid around the hoop for my taste. He may one day be a starter at the next level, but certainly not worthy of a early lottery selection. And the list of guys expected to go early in the draft continues from there, with players I see at possible busts like Cole Aldrich (a ballstopper), Wesley Johnson (too thin and no dribble moves), Willie Warren (having an up and down year when he is The Man for OU), Stanley Robinson (can't dribble) and Xavier Henry (standstill shooter without great quickness).

This year, with Tyreke Evans and Brandon Jennings leading the way, there are plenty of first year contributors in The League. Next year, not so much. At least in my view.

The Extraordinary Dave Bing, Mayor of Detroit

Here is an excellent piece from the current issue of Sports Illustrated, written by Michael Rosenberg, about Detroit Mayor and Naismith Hall of Famer Dave Bing. A fascinating look at a driven man who, in the later stages of his life, has taken on a task most would avoid: leading America's most impoverished big city in a time of economic crisis.

There is a great book yet to be written about Bing. Here's hoping that someone somewhere with the writing talent can tackle the subject matter.

The Way Life Should Be: An Education

Terrific story from today's Portland Press Herald on a program started by a local lawyer to match Williams College students and recent immigrant families living in the city. Kelley Bouchard is the writer, doing a fine job.

Portland is by far the biggest city in Maine and has a reputation for being most welcoming to arrivals from around the world, so programs like this are certainly needed.

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NFL Predictions: Everyone else has made one, so why not The 'Pent?

Call me crazy (OK, "you're CRAZY!" Mr. 'Pent) but I think all four lower seeded visitors will win this weekend. There are a lot of good teams this season, but none so good that they blow me away with their invincibility. The Colts lost their last two, the Saints their last three. The Vikings are slumping. The Chargers have never won a big game. So I'm picking the visitors in all four matchups.

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Saturday @ 4:30 - Arizona at New Orleans
The Saints are clearly not the same team that started the year 13-0 but they do have the loudest fans in football. I love Drew Brees game and makeup, and some year he's going to break through and win a Super Bowl. But not this year. The Cardinals, I expect, will put up three or four touchdowns. The question is how many scores will Brees and the Saints put up? I think they'll come up short.

Saturday @ 8:15 - Baltimore at Indy
Peyton and the Colts are the clear cut favorite overall, but I just don't believe in those young, no name wide receivers he is throwing to. The Ravens are one bad ass football team, and if they can squeak out two touchdowns I see them winning a low scoring game. Ray Rice is a terrific young talent and if I had the choice between him and Adrian Peterson I'd be mighty tempted to take the Raven.

Sunday @ 1:00 - Dallas at Minnesota
Dallas is the hottest team in the league and the Vikes are going cold at the exact wrong time. Minny does have a great dome field advantage, so the Cowboys will want to score early to quiet the fans. I think they do that and that their pass rush will greatly hinder Favre. Adrian Peterson is clearly not the same runner this year and the game may ride on his shoulders. I say Cowboys by ten.

Sunday @ 4:40 - New York Jets at San Diego
I hate Rex Ryan. I love Rex Ryan. What a great villian he's going to make over the next decade for me and all other Patriots fans. The man has proven he can be a successful head man in the NFL with his run this year. If Sanchez matures into a better than average quarterback then the Jets may become NYC's favorite team, over the reeling Giants because you just know that Ryan will have a superior defense. Sanchez is a big question mark for the future, though, and right now, in the present, he isn't very good either. If he doesn't kill the Jets with turnovers they win. The Chargers had a great regular season but have numerous playoff failures to look back on. The Jets need 150+ yards on the ground and no picks or fumbles by Sanchez. I think that will happen.

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Absurd sports story of the day: USC hires Kiffin after one season in Knoxville

Nice summary by SI's Michael Rosenburg on the hiring of a new head football coach by the nation's leading "win at all costs" institution, the University of Southern California.

As a sports fan, I guess this kind of story comes with the territory. People who do great things and lead large numbers of men need outsized egos. You see it in any walk of life, from the military to W. to James Cameron to coaches the world over. But still, the fact that Lane Kiffin had spent only one season at Tennessee before bolting took me aback. What does he tell his players? Sorry, but the other school has more money? That would be honest, but I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for a mea culpa from the man. Of course, the athletes at UT are no saints either; witness the recent arrest on gun charges of a third of the men's basketball team. But they are kids, and young men can and will make mistakes. The coaches that lead them are supposed to be adults and role models. Kiffin is just another example of the mindset that bigger is always better, and if he wins enough games he will head back to the glories of the NFL. I guess that's the bargain the USC administration is willing to make in their hunt for national championships and television dollars.

I'm tempted to say that I'm sickened by Kiffin's move, but I think it's more of a reminder that in life you really can't count on too many things other than people acting in their own self interest most of the time.

More of a reality check in my mind than a disappointment. Thanks, Coach!

Number three video tip of the day...

A brilliant sketch from Saturday Night Live a few weeks back that aired towards the end of the night, and many may have missed it.

Is this genius, or am I just a comedy freak?

And while I'm at it, another of my alltime favorite videos...

"Lazy Sunday" from Andy Samburg and Chris Parnell.

.......

Now that's just rude: "Scarface -The Short Version"

See here...

That video still slays me no matter how many times I've seen it. Enjoy.

"Lit" by Mary Karr: God has a dream for all of us.

Memoirs may be the most popular form of literature in our time. So many of them flood the bookshelves and Amazon that it is hard to know which ones to choose to spend time with. But anyone interested, as I am, in "recovery", could hardly do better than to read Karr's 2009 effort "Lit", a book that has achieved critical mass on the bestseller lists but can also be considered art in the best sense, as she teaches the reader/observer about themselves as she recounts her life story from early adulthood to middle age.

I will not go into any plot details, as I hate movie and book reviews that tell you exactly what happens. I'll just ask that you read the book and enjoy.

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The Greatness of Peyton Manning

I used to ridicule Manning. With his wild geticulations at the line of scrimmage prior to seemingly every play, his quick run off of the field after a touchdown throw to Marvin Harrison or some other streaking receiver, his sheer goofiness and largeness, his habitual Deep South drawl (which of course masked a withering, deep seated intelligence for both football and, seemingly, life) here was someone easy to laugh at and to dislike without regret.

Now, towards the end of his career and after his not too long ago Super Bowl win, his leading the Indianapolis Colts to the most regular season wins in a decade in the history of the NFL during the 2000s, and his hilarious and self deprecating performances on countless television advertisements, I hold him in awe. The kind of awe reserved for only the true greats of sport. And by that I mean not just the athletes who won more games and titles than others, such as Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, or the recently retired Randy Johnson ( by all accounts not too pleasant of individuals), but the ones that seemed to find a way to live their lives in balance with athletic excellence and respectable personal stories. Bill Russell and Bobby Orr, to name two local examples. Russell is not only the winningest team sport athlete in American history, he has used his fierce intellect and sharply wielded pride to make the world a better place in various small ways, having written some excellent books and using his fame as a sort of bully pulpit to speak out on civil rights issues. Orr has been the most graceful of ex-jocks, with not one unkind word, to my knowledge, ever being spoken about him in the media. Bobby Orr is as beloved an athletic figure as has ever lived due to his apparent kindness and class in dealing with those who worship his talent. Some other athletes I have respect for for both their achievements on the field but in life are Jim Brown, Alan Page, Ali, Tom Heinsohn, and Johnny Unitas.

Manning's ability to laugh at himself in public would be notable were he in many other careers besides professional sports. Because he is a football player, though, this trait makes him both adorable and admirable. How many others who get paid to run into other large men would be so willing to play the fool?

Now that New England is done with professional football for the season, here's hoping that Manning and the Colts win out.

Fun, Cheap Things For Me To Do Here In Portland By Myself

1) Go to an afternoon show at the Cinemagic 16, which I guess is technically in Westbrook but only ten minutes drive from my apartment on Brighton Avenue.

I never get over the thrill and delight experienced during the opening minutes of a movie I've never seen. "Will it be good?" "Will it be great?" "Is this a movie I will remember for the rest of my life?" No matter how many clunkers I see, I still love the experience of going to the movies. And, at $7 for a matinee here in Maine, movies are still just about the cheapest form of entertainment around.

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2) Work out at World Gym on Marginal Way.

Another cheap form of entertainment. How can you beat the price: $15 a month? As I exercise about five times a week I pay less than a dollar a visit. The vibe is good at World, as there is a pleasant mix of heavy duty lifters and recreational folks (I'd say I'm right in the middle of those two groups). The staff is always friendly and pleasant and does a great job keeping the place clean (a must for any gym [...that means you, Lifestyles!]). I'd recommend World over Planet Fitness, which is just down the street, as PF has low ceilings, is always packed ("Nobody goes there anymore, it's too crowded" -- Yogi Berra), and has less space for lifting.

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3) Sit in my car down at the Back Cove parking lot for an hour or two.

Does this make me a letch? You won't see too many runners this time of year, though there are some that make the effort. But as a time killer in the more seasonable times of year here in Portland, I can easily spend an hour just people watching.

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4) Shoot baskets on the outdoor court on the Eastern Promenade.

Though often very windy, the court overlooking Casco Bay is a nice relaxing place to shoot hoops in the summer heat. Beautiful views of some of Maine's most picturesque water.

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5) Window shop at Whole Foods.

I may be poor but that doesn't mean I don't have taste. Spent a half hour yesterday afternoon just wandering the aisles of the priciest supermarket in town, wondering what I would buy if money and calories were not to part of my eating equation.

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6) Get a haircut at SpaTech.

Highly recommended because at $6 a pop for a men's cut you can't beat the price. And the students who do the work are unfailingly friendly and pleasant. I've been going for years and have never had a bad experience.

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7) SeaDogs and Pirates games.

You can't beat the price for SeaDogs tickets, at about $8 for reserved seats. But getting a seat during the nice weather can be troublesome. The Pirates are more expensive but you can always get a seat the day of the game. One of the best things about living in Portland is having three minor league teams in town, though I have not been to a Red Claws game yet.

Stuff I Like

First, some great televisions shows (nothing too unusual or surprising, as I stay in the mainstream)...

"Glee" - Are you a Gleek too? A can't miss due to the kids more than the adults.

"30 Rock" - The best show on the air. I am in awe of how good the writing is. Tina Fey is a national treasure, as is Alec Baldwin.

"Law and Order" - Having their best season ever, and that is saying something. Where do they come up with the sexy/smart assistant DA's every few years? Every time a new woman joins the show I fall in love all over again.

"The Daily Show" and "The Colbert Report" - How can any thinking American not watch these two? Must viewing.

"Modern Family" - Loveable characters. Great writing. Not much happens, but the show is damn funny. My question is, "Where do they go from here?" The first season has been wonderful, but will they just keep telling the same jokes over and over again? It will be interesting to see if MF becomes a classic or stagnates.

"Saturday Night Live" - Still funny and relevant. Keenan Thompson kills me. Kristin Wiig less so despite the attempts to make her a breakout star. I think it's a reflection on Wiig that she has not been made co-anchor of Weekend Update yet.

Both Sunday and Monday Night Fooball - The fun of these games is due mostly to Jon Gruden and Cris Collinsworth, two of the best color men working. I will miss Gruden announcing once he rejoins the NFL, as he may be a better announcer than head coach.

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Some good new books:

"Let the Great World Spin" - Yes, the hype is justified. A must read.

"Open" by Andre Agassi - One of the best sports autobiographies ever written. I cannot think of a better one offhand. Truly a beautiful and heartfelt effort by Agassi.

"Lit" by Mary Karr - I'm halfway through this one and very much enjoying it, though it may not be quite the classic I envisioned.

"The Art of a Beautiful Game" by Chris Ballard - Disappointment as the writing is not crisp but the author has an obvious affection for the NBA. Recommended for fans of the league.

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Movies to see:

"Youth In Revolt" - A wonderful new coming of age flick that had me laughing out loud throughout. Micheal Cera is as easy to watch as any actor working.

"Avatar" - Saw it first on a regular screen and loved it. Saw it again in IMAX 3D and loved it just as much, though I doubt there will be as much repeat viewing as "Titanic" generated, thus I don't see it earning the $2 billion worldwide some are predicting. It was worth the wait, though, so "Thanks!" to Mr. Cameron.

"Nine" - Worth seeing if only to be bedazzled by all the beautiful women in Daniel Day-Lewis character's life. I wish they had made him more likable and also think it might have been more interesting to bring the film, set in the 60s, into the modern world. Good stuff though and recommended.

"An Education" - Terrific, but not worth the hype that is has been generating. No surprises at all in the story.

"The Blind Side" - Any movie that causes me to shed a tear I must recommend. The book by Micheal Lewis was better but this is still an incredible story worth telling, though I'd guess that the husband, a childhood friend of the book's writer, might be miffed he is such a small and insignificant part of the movie.

"Sherlock Holmes" - Fun, fun, fun. A delight.

"Up in the Air" - Recommended, though a slight disappointment. Not really funny, just kind of sad yet interesting characters living messed up lives.

"Invictus" - Recommended, though there are better films out there and Eastwood is capable of more.

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Why Do We Love?

Do you often tell someone in your life that you love them but then leave out the part about WHY you love them?

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When I was in high school I remember telling my parents, during a fight with them, that the only reason they loved me was because I was their son. Meaning I felt unloveable and unworthy of anyone's affection, including and maybe especially theirs. I knew my parents had to care for me since it was their duty as I was their own flesh and blood. But in my thinking at that moment in time they would have been better off sending me off into the street as an unwanted orphan since I was such a terrible waste of a person and truly not someone any human would want have in their life.

Yes, I was one screwed up teenager. But I wonder if things might have been different, in some small way, if Mom and Dad had told me exactly why they loved me. What was it about me that they enjoyed? Was I a good, worthwhile person? Was I fun to be around? Was I kind? Funny? Smart? I felt none of those things at the time, and to be told that "We love you because you love to read and learn new things, are kind to our animals, have a good sense of humor, treat others with respect, and so many other things" might have helped me understand a little bit about who I was and why I was on this planet.

So maybe if you have a friend who is struggling with life, or a child who, like me back then, isn't sure of their place in the world, or a neglected spouse, you could explain to them just what it is about them that you enjoy.

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